Mum wants to be birth partner

[Dragonbub]

Hey Mayaness - wow, they could be sisters! The thing is, mum has moments of temporary sanity where she can be completely reasonable and normal. It is hard to judge.

As it were, we "chatted" yesterday and she took it ok I suppose, if complete denial counts! She pretty much said that she will make her way to the hospital with my sis and sit there all day if she has to. She said "they are sure to have a lounge or something where I will just wait and take a blanket and watch tv". I said that no, they dont' have a lounge and she would have to wait in the reception area. Fine if it is the morning, but during the day people will be coming and going to appointments. She said that didn't bother her and she will go back to my place if she isn't comfortable.

I reiterated that I didn't want to have to worry about her comfort, nor did I want DH and sis worrying about her also, that is why I wanted to know that she was safe and sound at our place. She said that my sister's labours were really quick, so mine is probably going to be quick

Anyway, DH and I have discussed it and will be going ahead with our plan to not have her in the room, regardless. If she wants to stay in the reception area and wait 10 hours, that is up to her. Belle - DH doesn't want her to be there either cos he wants bonding time with his new bub without distractions.

Bekz - it is funny, we never seem to get exactly what we want huh? After my sister's second birth, mum was away and didn't come visit for about a week later. When I told her she should be there, she just said "I have seen one birth, I don't need to see them all" like it is about HER and what she needs to see, not whether my sis wanted her to meet her new grandson or not.

So anyway, not what was expected, but at least I have made my feelings clear (as mud maybe, but I have tried...).

Thankyou again for all your support. Don't worry, this thread was never about ME, it is just about dealing with unwanted attention, and as most people have said, the guilt associated with choosing something YOU want, rather than what THEY want. The mother/daughter relationship seems so complicated, that it is hard to put your own feelings first knowing that it could potentially hurt theirs.

Anyway, no more rambling. We shall just see what happens on the day,

Thanks again *hugs* for everyone

[Dragonbub]

Hey Nessa - wow, at least my MIL is staying away. She has other things on her mind so I don't have to worry about it. It is a different dynamic with a MIL as it is with a mum, as it is harder to tell her you don't want her there when your mum has been there. I have no advice, other than to commiserate at how selfish they can be, like "pick me, pick me, I want a turn to!" like children. Good luck. Maybe do what one lady suggested and just call them when the baby is born! I would do this but mum really would never forgive me...