I was talking to husband this morning and we were talking about next year. We are lucky that with a few financial cut backs, we can live on his wage so we have options. We were talking about me going back to uni, coming back to work or staying at home.

However it got me thinking - this time next year I have no idea what I'll be doing. This time in 2 months I have no idea what I'll be doing. I've got no real experience with babies not having little ones in the family. I've never changed a nappy, never given a bath, nothing. I seriously have no idea. I'm sure I'll get the hang of it, but it led my thoughts on other paths.

Then that got me thinking - what will my life look like? I will be doing all of these things that I have no idea how to do now. I have always worked, always been pretty top of my game and generally always been in control. Now, I'm about to have a baby who despite his youth will be in control. This little man will have such an influence on my life and we've not even met. I have no idea the type of baby he will be and whether I'll be able to give him what he needs.

So yeah... I just can't get my head around the fact that very soon my life is going to change and I have no control over that change. I can't really plan because I don't know how it's all going to go, how I am going to go and how we as a family are going to go.

Sigh... This is doing my head in a bit.

Fiona