Scared, stressed, excited?

[OceanPrincess]

Well ladies I am coming up to 33 weeks and starting to have a bit of a reality check - oh my gosh in 6-10 weeks I will be having a baby!

Part of me is thrilled and so excited... but another part of me is nervous, stressed and scared! We don't have bubs' room ready... we don't even have anywhere for bubs to sleep yet! We do have it all ordered, we just need to pay for it and pick it up.

But its more than just that. How will I know what to do with baby? Newborns seem so small... how do you put clothes on them without hurting them? What do you do with them all day long? How much are they supposed to sleep?

Are these anxious thoughts and feelings normal? I haven't started pre-natal classes yet due to Christmas/New Year, will these sort of things be discussed during the classes?

How much of being a mother is "instinct" and how much is "learned"???

[Aphrael]

I had no idea about babies when I had my first, I know slightly more now lol but I do know the basics.

Baby isn't that delicate, they can be moved around without breaking them.

So long as you can get the cot or basinette if that's what your using and a few hundred nappies and some clothes you'll be set for a while.

They feed, poop and sleep in the early months so they are pretty predictable then lol its when they get bigger you need to think more about what to do with them so sit tight and relax. Babies will sleep when they want, and in the weeks after birth thats quite a bit.

So have you given any thought to the birth? Are you birthing in hospital with the midwives? Are you open to pain relief or do you want to try a la naturale? Will you be breastfeeding?

I know there are so many things to think about but the birth isn't something to just leave to chance, a bit of planning wouldn't go astray

Best of luck

Cheers,

Beck

[Ginger]

honestly, i had no idea either...but something just happened to dh and i when our ds was born- our instinct took over.

dh was running around on adreniline for the first week- he couldn't sleep! and ever since then, it's just felt so natural. we love it...and anytime we couldn't work something out- i would just log on here, ask a question and get an instant answer.

you're going to be a wonderful mum OP

[Nai]

Completely normal OP - with DD I was so focused on the labour and birth stuff though that I didn't really freak out until I got DD home! Then I sat there going "what do I do with her now? how am I supposed to know what she wants/needs?"

At least you are starting to think about this beforehand I know that at the hospital the midwives were really good about showing us how to bath DD, dress her and all of that so hopefully you will get that advice once the baby is here.

[1pj]

I dont have much advice sorry but i wanted to say i feel exactly the same!!I cant sleep sometimes at night thinking about it!I keep thinking is it normal to be this worried and scared and excited at the same time?and usually im a pretty organised person but this time -nope!Im 33 weeks too and dont even have a cot mattress yet!people tell me instinct just kicks in after there born i hope so!!

[SugarDust]

II'm upto bubs #3 and I'm packing myself! I dunno how the hell i'm gonna cope with 3 kids 2 days a week and keep the house 150% clean all of the time!

[AliBaby]

I have all of the above feelings too OP! I think it is pretty normal to feel this way.

We are so lucky to have this site as the people on BB give us so much advice adn like Rainforest said, we can just come on here and ask a question and get an instant answer.

I am sure you will feel better when you pick up your baby stuff and start classes.

I am not doing the antenatal classes but my midwife is great and has just asked me to write down a list of questions for her when I come in at my appointments.

I think instinct will take over and motherhood will also kind of be "on the job training" so to speak. We will learn as we go and I am sure you are going to be a great mum.

[~Kaz~]

As you know I'm in a similar position in terms of being (dis)-organised to you OP!! I just keep thinking, "it will all be organised in time and if not, we'll cope then".

I'm going to say your thoughts and feelings are normal because I am also experiencing all of that. I seem to have recently started swinging between being ultra calm, accepting and confident in our ability to cope, learn, manage, respond to baby needs, 'know' what to do etc and then I dip into anxiety-land. I think it's a third tri thing. It's always a different topic that has me a little stressed. For example, today's issue has been how to manage three older pets with a new baby in the house. Over Christmas, it was breastfeeding and attachment and whether I can avoid cracked nipples and mastitis!!

I have previously thought a lot about the birth itself & what I want but lately, I am more worried about what happens after the birth! I keep reminding myself that this 'worry' has a purpose - it's getting me mentally ready to bring a real, live baby home!! So I'm trying to see it as useful and using the energy to read and research and have a rough plan - like the pets issue and when we will actually go shopping to purchase a cot and change table!

I agree with Rainforest - having been through the TTC thread and now bellybuddies with you, I know you're going to be an excellent mum!

[OceanPrincess]

Thanks girls for all your responses

I definitely think it is a third tri thing... love the "on the job" training reference too!

One of my friends just came and sat with me and reassured me a bit so I feel better. We've put in an order on a Bonds website too so I know I have some basics coming.

Can't wait to pick up the layby and get bubs' room sorted - I think that will help a lot as you say Ali!

Beck, I've thought about those sort of things a little bit - I have a great Obs who is a big believer in letting the woman's body do its thing, naturally and only intervening if it is necessary. So that is good.

I can definitely see DH running on adreneline for the first few weeks too!

Kaz - I haven't even thought about cracked nipples and mastitis

I'm so glad I'm not alone... I know we will all be great but sometimes its good to know you're not the only one freaking out!!!

[~Kaz~]

Kaz - I haven't even thought about cracked nipples and mastitis

So sorry OP! I didn't mean to give you any more worries. I have heard a few 'horror' stories from friends I guess. As long as you get the attachment right (and it doesn't hurt) then it can be avoided.

[OceanPrincess]

Phew... that's a relief...

Lucky for me I have a friend who is a Maternal and Child Health Nurse so I think I'll be calling on her a bit if we have b/f issues!

[Salad]

Yep its normal, I am due any day and the majority of the prenancy I have been so excited, but in the last couple of weeks I have had a couple of freak outs I start thinking how am I going to do this, how do I know what my baby wants etc, all the same things the other girls worry about. Two of my friends have had babies in the last two weeks and they are both saying their babies are angels, which makes me worry more that I wont be so lucky. My husband is such a wonderful person though and I know he will be very hands on which makes me feel better, he is very excited.
A big thanks should go to all the lovely ladies on BB that take the time to reply to the posts and make others feel better or just offer information. I am so glad I found this sight, it has been so good for me throughout my pregnancy and I know it will be valuable beyond that. Good luck to all the first time mums to be I hope everything will be smooth for you.

[puppies]

I think I will spend the first few days just sitting there staring at my baby boy cause it feels like its been so long since I have dreamed of him to actually see him and touch him and smell him will be mesmorising.

Our antinatal class went through everything including how to handle a new born. She showed us a baby girl that was born the day before and we watched her get her first bath and dressed her and we all loved watching the midwife handle this baby so roughly it made us think well if a 1 day old can be handled like that then we will be fine. it was very reassuring actually.

[Pandora]

I had the same fears as well regarding bringing a newborn home. I was so much more scared of that part, than I was of the actual birth.

I didnt feel like it came naturally for at least 2-3 weeks, but you get through it and a lot of mums do find it all comes naturally from the get go.

Babies are pretty resilient, but I was scared to bathe DS or to burp him sitting up - DH did both of those things for weeks.

Your antenatal classes should go over things like this and if they dont then ask about them.

[diva det]

OP
i am not gonna sugar coat it- its damm scary to start with!
But you know what- the fact that you are worried and scared means that you will be a great mum!!!!
I was lucky my twins came home 'house trained' - special care for 33 days lol
but its still scary- up until i had my own kids i had never even changed a nappy before- and only held a bub a couple of times!
But what got me through was a great support network- people to turn to who do make sense and are supportive for the right reasons. It took me about 6 months for me to find a network that was positive for me- it wasnt my first attempt- but once i found it- i felt normal and real again

You are just around the corner from me ! Use me as part of your network- more than willinging to be. A friendly ear, a chat, a coffee at monty or just a question, no matter how small are no bother to me at all!!

I am so lucky that my support network are still around me and ready to jump in as soon as this bubba is born- to remind me that the horror times are 'only a phase', to give the reality check that i am doing a good job, and to be a shoulder when i need it!

My best bit of advice to you is to never doubt yourself!! You will know what is best- it is part of your instinct. Take everyones advice with a grain of salt and only take on board what works for you!!

Being a mother and holding your newborn in your hands for the first time is the most amazing, scariest, and awesome things that you will ever do!!
Enjoy the last few weeks with your DH until 2 becomes three and savour every day- as they go sooo quick!!
mwah

odette

[OceanPrincess]

Odette thanks so much for your kind words

I had a chuckle at your twins coming home "house trained"!

At least I have my niece, who I affectionately refer to as my practice baby... but sometimes holding her makes me all the more worried about what I will do when it is my little one!

It is so good to know I am not alone.

[thepixie]

OP the way I tried to think about it was, it always takes a few months to get the hang of any new job - and motherhood is no different... so be patient with yourself, accept that it will take time to feel confident that you know what you are doing! I got some very good advice, probably the best was to take the time to observe your baby, you will learn a lot that way. if you are a member of a library, go and borrow some baby care books and have a read. In a few months time you will be doing what I'm doing right now, watching my baby girl smile in her sleep while posting on BB.
GL hon!