seeing my fat-a-phobic Ob tomorrow...stressed

[beansbeans!]

not silly at all hun. I say let your DH come, he wants to be involved and maybe he'll have your back when the ob starts up? If your DH is going to be present during your labour (and I'm going to assume he is) then maybe his support and advocacy should start now?? Your DH loves you for you, he's not going to care about the passing comments of the ob and the ob might be less inclined to 'pick' on you (if I can put it that way) if your DH is there anyway.

You shouldn't be stressed about a 35 week appt hun and I'm sorry that you are. This is meant to be the exciting time! I hope it goes well tomorrow and that if the ob starts up, you can find the courage to tell them to back off.

What Kaz said!
Take Dh and let him have your back when the ob starts, maybe that will put the ob in his place and off your back a little.

GL tomorrow!

[delphmoon]

Thanks girls

[human bean]

What about tackling it upfront at the beginning of the appointment? You bring it to the table - say 'listen you've pointed out such and such about my weight at previous visits, I'm aware that I'm heavier, there's no need to go over it again. Week 35, excitement is building, please don't give me grief as it's not magically going to change things in the next 5 weeks' or something to that effect?

I am always paranoid about weight comments, especially during my pregnancy (my Ob was pretty good) so I find if I bring it up first I'm more mentally prepared for any conversation that might follow. If that makes sense? And if you'd rather not have your DH there maybe just say you'll go on your own, but if you do want him to go just give him the heads up first, but like Bloom said, only if you think it will help.

Hope all goes really well tomorrow

[Jennifer13]

Go you!!! Way to get your power back

(I'm also impressed that your vagina is unchanged since your DD. Any tips?)

[delphmoon]

Go you!!! Way to get your power back

(I'm also impressed that your vagina is unchanged since your DD. Any tips?)

actually my vagina IS different, but he don't need to know that ...LOL...

[tellytubby]

Hi Delphmoon I have been quietly lurking in your posts, reading, but never posting. I'm just kind of feeling a need to post in here tonight... I can sense how stressed you are... that knot in your stomach

I really think you need to talk to your husband about it all. I know you don't want to let your guard down, but I think its necessary. He is your bestfriend, he will understand and support you. Just think.. how can he support you to his full potential, when you won't let him in? The ladies on this forum are fabulous, we will support you, share our also embarrasing stories - but your husband is the only one who can hold your hand during the appointment....

Let him in. Have a big ol' cry. Call the ob every nasty name under the sun with him. Let him go with you..

I also want to say how absolutley disgusted I am in your Ob. Pregnancy is not suppose to be this way. You should be enjoying every moment! I also had a nasty MW who made me feel far from welcome with my plus size figure. It plain old sucks.

Always here if you need to chat. Pm me xxxooo

[LionsandBears]

I'm so sorry this OB is being nasty to you. Is there anyway you can ask to see a different one?

Take your DH. Word him up on your fear so he can support you. I dont think it's best you go in there on your own. Assuming your DH is supportive, which he sounds like.
Human Bean's advice is good about tackling it upfront. Maybe write some notes before you go to help you at your appt.

I wonder if this would be of any use. Take a notepad and note down everytime the OB mentions your weight during the time vs other items. You may want to point it out to him there at the end. Or you may want to keep it to yourself for now.

[delphmoon]

Thankyou for the advice girls.

I am soo cross at myself for letting myself get so stressed about it all. I woke up this morning and felt like it was dooms day...the dreaded appointment.

Luckily I have jumped on here just quickly to get some inspiration and I'm thinking that my Ob is a big tosser and and I'm not going to let him spoil this pregnancy and I'm certainly not going to let my issues prevent DH from coming to the appointment..

I just spoke to DH and he said he was surprised that I am being emotional about it all... DH said that I should be myself and tell the Ob straight out to go jump instead of feeling ashamed of myself and I have given him one beautiful daughter after all and I was fat then so whats the difference now...LOL...

So, I have taken the deep breathe and I'm going to kick some butt if the ob wants to mess with this mamma!!!

Thanks girls for your support

[meow]

I'm pretty sure there are no stats that fat women can't birth? Except in those cases where they are over-managed of course Tell your OB to educate himself or shut up. You'll be great hon!

[[M]umma[M]ia]

ugh.... i had one of them.. last pregnancy. Loved to tell me how obese I was and when I would leave she would say "go home and dont eat anything!"...

So I feel for you. Now looking back at it I wish I had stuck up for myself and told her to go jump. They cant speak to you like that

Just tell him how it is hun. Say its no appropriate. You know you have a weight problem... its not rocket science and you dont need reminding at every appointment etc.

[sahbear]

Good on you! Well said )

[Footsteps]

well done huni..so proud of you xxx