seeing my fat-a-phobic Ob tomorrow...stressed

[delphmoon]

Well, I'm back and I survived...phew

After the OB kept me waiting for 2 hours we went into the consultation room and before he even said hello to me he said "Seen you have a high BMI you are no longer allowed to see the midwives...you can only see me". Without a second thought I replied that I am exactly the same weight I was when pg with DD (last year) and I didn't have to go through all of this last year...Infact last year I wasnt even weighed, let alone having to go through fortnightly humiliation like this. He replied "Procedures have changed" and I replied "Well my body hasn't changed...my uterus is still the same and I'm pretty sure my vagina is the same too..." DH who was sipping on his drink spat out some of his drink and laughed..but I was mad...so- your procedures have changed which must mean I have to confirm to your way of doing things hey? I don't think so.

I told him that whilst I understand he has concerns re my BMI, I am happy to continue seeing my midwife for the remainder of the pregnancy as I don't feel that seeing him would alter my BMI...lol...I thanked him for his time and got up and walked out.

I was soo mad that I was shaking and crying...DH was pleased- I was back to my normal self again (telling the ob where to go) LOL.

I called my midwife and told her and she was quite chuffed LOL..

So here I am back in empowerment mode..I'm not going to have some a$$hOle spoil my pregnancy so pfft to him

[Lolpigs]

Well, I'm back and I survived...phew

After the OB kept me waiting for 2 hours we went into the consultation room and before he even said hello to me he said "Seen you have a high BMI you are no longer allowed to see the midwives...you can only see me". Without a second thought I replied that I am exactly the same weight I was when pg with DD (last year) and I didn't have to go through all of this last year...Infact last year I wasnt even weighed, let alone having to go through fortnightly humiliation like this. He replied "Procedures have changed" and I replied "Well my body hasn't changed...my uterus is still the same and I'm pretty sure my vagina is the same too..." DH who was sipping on his drink spat out some of his drink and laughed..but I was mad...so- your procedures have changed which must mean I have to confirm to your way of doing things hey? I don't think so.

I told him that whilst I understand he has concerns re my BMI, I am happy to continue seeing my midwife for the remainder of the pregnancy as I don't feel that seeing him would alter my BMI...lol...I thanked him for his time and got up and walked out.

I was soo mad that I was shaking and crying...DH was pleased- I was back to my normal self again (telling the ob where to go) LOL.

I called my midwife and told her and she was quite chuffed LOL..

So here I am back in empowerment mode..I'm not going to have some a$$hOle spoil my pregnancy so pfft to him

Well done hun Pfft to him indeed.

[sloane]

i'm so glad you stayed true to yourself & told him where to go!

it is YOUR pregnancy. and his role is a facilitator, not dictator!

[LionsandBears]

Oh very Well done!!!

You go girl. I am so thrilled for you, I have a great big stupid grin on my face.

I think that deserves some of these I would have loved to have seen the expression on his face

[*Efjay*]

Well, I'm back and I survived...phew

After the OB kept me waiting for 2 hours we went into the consultation room and before he even said hello to me he said "Seen you have a high BMI you are no longer allowed to see the midwives...you can only see me". Without a second thought I replied that I am exactly the same weight I was when pg with DD (last year) and I didn't have to go through all of this last year...Infact last year I wasnt even weighed, let alone having to go through fortnightly humiliation like this. He replied "Procedures have changed" and I replied "Well my body hasn't changed...my uterus is still the same and I'm pretty sure my vagina is the same too..." DH who was sipping on his drink spat out some of his drink and laughed..but I was mad...so- your procedures have changed which must mean I have to confirm to your way of doing things hey? I don't think so.

I told him that whilst I understand he has concerns re my BMI, I am happy to continue seeing my midwife for the remainder of the pregnancy as I don't feel that seeing him would alter my BMI...lol...I thanked him for his time and got up and walked out.

I was soo mad that I was shaking and crying...DH was pleased- I was back to my normal self again (telling the ob where to go) LOL.



I called my midwife and told her and she was quite chuffed LOL..

So here I am back in empowerment mode..I'm not going to have some a$$hOle spoil my pregnancy so pfft to him

OMG! You did not! You made that up?! You really stood up for youself like that?! Wow you are amazing. I am sitting here thinking "YOU GO GIRL!" Just wow! good on you!

[delphmoon]

LOL thanks all..

With my first pregnancy I never for a minute lost confidence in my ability to give birth (Ok maybe afew minutes here and there I freaked out LOL). But the point is I had confidence in myself and my body and in birth.

with this pregnancy, this man has turned me into a frightened little (or fat as it seems) girl and I have doubted myself the whole time. I have stressed throughout the whole pregnancy because of this man. This problem with the Ob started way back at the beginning of this pregnancy.

This morning DH told me he was soo proud how I handled myself during my first pregnancy and was sad for me that this time I have lost my confidence...

So I think the convo with DH and with you girls snapped me out of it in time for this appointment and somehow I managed to get back control and my confidence. I can do this- fat or no fat...LOL

I am still surprised I said what I said and even that I walked out of that appointment...who was that person???...

[~Kim~]

Delphmoon I have followed this drama since your first thread, but didn't have anything extra to add, but man. I can't believe I am so proud of you today.
That last post of yours just made me grin. Well done chick!

[Cranky Kitten]

So proud of you chickie! Enjoy these last few weeks and keep believing in yourself the whole way

[Heaven]

WOW!! Go Mama!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[RainbowBrite]

Well done! not only did you stand up for yourself but hopefully now he will think more before he speaks to others in the same situation
You should be very proud of yourself

[Lisa]

ARGH!! I went through something almost identical when I was pregnant with DD2. I had one of the (apparently) most open minded Obs at the public hospital deny my already approved home birth over concerns regarding my BMI. He made me feel like crap. I felt disgusting when he sat there in a meeting with my husband and said I was too fat to go in the ambulance and that they would have to bring one up from Sydney especially for me. I was mortified as this was the same Ob that had read my notes, read my BMI and had written that I was fine to birth at home through the home birth scheme. I was told that if I birthed at home I would probably kill my baby or myself due to my size. So, they broke me and I birthed in the hospital. I had the perfect birth that I knew I would have, regardless of my size.
Then when I fell pregnant with DD3 I just knew I would cop it all again and I did. That Ob had moved on to another hospital but I copped it over my weight and because I had birthed so many babies. In the end, DD3 was born safely and beautifully at home with no complications to her or me. AND, after she was born we went to hospital in a REGULAR ambulance with no issues at all!!!!
Stick to your guns and stay empowered. You have the right to refuse anything they tell you to do. There is no reason why you should be under the care of the Ob now just because your BMI is on the higher side.
Good luck hun