seeing my fat-a-phobic Ob tomorrow...stressed

[delphmoon]

*sigh*

Just need to get this out so I don't burst into tears when I talk to hubby about it.....

I have my 35 week appointment with by Ob tomorrow- I didn't choose him- I'm a public patient and he is the one I was 'allocated'.

Anyway...he is well known for his lack of tact when it comes to obese women and I'm expecting abit of a grilling tomorrow because he is a fat-a-phobic...

Hubby wants to come to the appointment, but I am soo embarrased by what my Ob potentially might say to me in relation to my weight. I am planning on telling DH he cant come tomorrow and I feel awful about it... its not fair on him and I'm too embarrassed to admit I am worried about the Ob talking about my weight.

silly I know- maybe I'm just hormonal?

Anyway- time to put DD1 to bed...just needed to get that out so thanks for reading

[~Kaz~]

not silly at all hun. I say let your DH come, he wants to be involved and maybe he'll have your back when the ob starts up? If your DH is going to be present during your labour (and I'm going to assume he is) then maybe his support and advocacy should start now?? Your DH loves you for you, he's not going to care about the passing comments of the ob and the ob might be less inclined to 'pick' on you (if I can put it that way) if your DH is there anyway.

You shouldn't be stressed about a 35 week appt hun and I'm sorry that you are. This is meant to be the exciting time! I hope it goes well tomorrow and that if the ob starts up, you can find the courage to tell them to back off.

[beansbeans!]

not silly at all hun. I say let your DH come, he wants to be involved and maybe he'll have your back when the ob starts up? If your DH is going to be present during your labour (and I'm going to assume he is) then maybe his support and advocacy should start now?? Your DH loves you for you, he's not going to care about the passing comments of the ob and the ob might be less inclined to 'pick' on you (if I can put it that way) if your DH is there anyway.

You shouldn't be stressed about a 35 week appt hun and I'm sorry that you are. This is meant to be the exciting time! I hope it goes well tomorrow and that if the ob starts up, you can find the courage to tell them to back off.

What Kaz said!
Take Dh and let him have your back when the ob starts, maybe that will put the ob in his place and off your back a little.

GL tomorrow!

[delphmoon]

Thanks girls

[human bean]

What about tackling it upfront at the beginning of the appointment? You bring it to the table - say 'listen you've pointed out such and such about my weight at previous visits, I'm aware that I'm heavier, there's no need to go over it again. Week 35, excitement is building, please don't give me grief as it's not magically going to change things in the next 5 weeks' or something to that effect?

I am always paranoid about weight comments, especially during my pregnancy (my Ob was pretty good) so I find if I bring it up first I'm more mentally prepared for any conversation that might follow. If that makes sense? And if you'd rather not have your DH there maybe just say you'll go on your own, but if you do want him to go just give him the heads up first, but like Bloom said, only if you think it will help.

Hope all goes really well tomorrow

[Jennifer13]

Go you!!! Way to get your power back

(I'm also impressed that your vagina is unchanged since your DD. Any tips?)

[tellytubby]

Hi Delphmoon I have been quietly lurking in your posts, reading, but never posting. I'm just kind of feeling a need to post in here tonight... I can sense how stressed you are... that knot in your stomach

I really think you need to talk to your husband about it all. I know you don't want to let your guard down, but I think its necessary. He is your bestfriend, he will understand and support you. Just think.. how can he support you to his full potential, when you won't let him in? The ladies on this forum are fabulous, we will support you, share our also embarrasing stories - but your husband is the only one who can hold your hand during the appointment....

Let him in. Have a big ol' cry. Call the ob every nasty name under the sun with him. Let him go with you..

I also want to say how absolutley disgusted I am in your Ob. Pregnancy is not suppose to be this way. You should be enjoying every moment! I also had a nasty MW who made me feel far from welcome with my plus size figure. It plain old sucks.

Always here if you need to chat. Pm me xxxooo

[LionsandBears]

I'm so sorry this OB is being nasty to you. Is there anyway you can ask to see a different one?

Take your DH. Word him up on your fear so he can support you. I dont think it's best you go in there on your own. Assuming your DH is supportive, which he sounds like.
Human Bean's advice is good about tackling it upfront. Maybe write some notes before you go to help you at your appt.

I wonder if this would be of any use. Take a notepad and note down everytime the OB mentions your weight during the time vs other items. You may want to point it out to him there at the end. Or you may want to keep it to yourself for now.

[Bloom]

I so get you Delph! I had one MW who was thingy about weight too - I avoided booking appointments with her, even though I was meant to see her for every 3rd appointment I just "happened" to be busy on her appointment days so scheduled with one of my two other MWs.

My anti fat MW would sigh "oh I will have to get the extral large cuff to fit around your arm" (every other MW just used the normal cuff as I am between the sizes". And she would always ask about what I was eating and if I was walking a lot (I was going to the gym so at least I could answer that with pride!). But I left her appointments feeling ashamed and guilty. The worst was when she said that I should only gain 4kg for the rest of my pg and that was at 20 weeks! Um... can't see that happening! (And it didn't, but I'm dealing with it now...)

Anyway, you do what you need to do in order to get through your appointment. Don't bring DH unless you feel it will help.

:hugs:

Please post again to debrief after your visit!

[tellytubby]

I am SO SO proud!!!

Well done chicky!! Hold your head up high and enjoy the last weeks of your pregnancy!

[loulabelle]

Delphmoon you rock! Well done for standing up for you. awesome.

Sent from my GT-S5570 using Tapatalk

[OceanPrincess]

You
Are
Flipping
Awesome
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



You rock. Amazing. Well done for discovering your lioness again.

[human bean]

You rock!

[ElleJay]

I've been quietly following too - You.Are.Awesome!


---
- Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk - even though I should be cleaning

[LMS]

Can I just say..."the biggest high five to you ever ever ever!" I would have been shaking in my boots too but you have taken standing up for yourself to the next level. Well done and have a happy and empowering 8 weeks or so.
xo

[delphmoon]

Today I called the clinic to make an appointment with another Ob.... a female...and she is lovely