That's just it though. I'm really struggling to make peace with having another cs even if it's necessary. I'm terrified of it. I have no support for the recovery time. I don't know how I'd get through it.

I thought I'd be stronger than this but I don't think I realized just how much trauma I'm still carrying from DSs birth. I just sit through OB appts and smile and tell the dr to just relax...... but inside I feel sick.