I wish I could give you a big hug in real life. I wasn't carrying that much from my c-section with DS, I had a pretty good c-section apart from the epidural stuff up, but it wasn't because it was a bad experience that I went for a vbac, it was just because I didn't want another c-section. Believe me, I bawled the night before my c-section, absolutely bawled, I was totally gutted. I didn't want another one either!! I had worked so hard towards it, and to have it taken away from me like that - it truly was the worst night of my life.

You are strong, and you will get through this no matter how this little baby comes out. My midwife that night told me that some babies just are supposed to be born that way, and nothing we can do will stop that from happening. We can plan and hope and dream - but at the end of the day, its the baby that really decides how its supposed to be born. For Mehkelti, it was a c-section. I can even say that I had a great experience with her, except for the infection I got afterwards, but it was the grief from the loss of the vbac that absolutely destroyed me.

And even when I got my VBA2C - I was still upset about not getting my vbac.

I hope you don't think I'm trying to say that you won't succeed - far from it believe me!! I believe in people even if they don't believe in themselves But I do know how you feel. And I do know where you are at. And I even had supportive people in my corner, my OB was fantastic and didn't pressure anything on me. I had a couple of threads going at the time about waiting to go into labour, and I also had a thread afterwards when I was pretty messed up about not getting it. You are welcome to read them if you want, my support thread for waiting to go into labour has some great affirmations and stuff in it - I'm sure its still around somewhere....