thread: What is your greatest fear??

  1. #19
    Debbie Lee Guest

    Juliette - one thing I am going to do after bubba is born is really try and get into a healthy lifestyle mode. There's a weight-loss forum on here and I plan on using my $600 three-wheeler like a piece of gym equipment!
    I too worry about falling back into old habits. Like you said, you may not have time to get too obsessed about it so use it to your advantage I reckon!

    You're not a scaredy cat at all! Geez, if I read about all those things, I would be frightened too. So.... I am not going to read about them, hehe.

    Do you think sometimes we can know too much??

  2. #20
    Registered User

    Aug 2004

    I'm really scared that I wont make it through with the baby I think. Seems like a pretty common feeling. I am hearing more and more stories about people losing babies after 30 weeks, and I think that while there are alot more stories about happy healthy babies, we cant ignore that someone we know will lose a baby late in pregnancy, and it must be so devastating. Shane's SIL lost 2, and nearly lost the 3rd, and its made him over paranoid which is rubbing off on me a little.
    Also very afraid about losing some of my function in that area - particularly incontinance!
    Very afraid of the epidural idea, but I think when push will come to shove, I'll just do what has to be done!

  3. #21
    Registered User

    Nov 2004
    Giving the gift of life to a friend..

    MIn, I guess the run from sink to my crotch cooled it off somewhat, but nope, bubba's head was fine!!!!

    Instant relief I tell ya!

  4. #22
    Scarlett Guest

    Deb thank you for starting this thread as it has made me feel really good to realise that most of my fears are "normal" and not as irrational as I thought.

    I too am scared of baby being still born, although I do not have the family history you do. I am freaked out about poohing and it is sort of reassuring that people who have been there done that so to speak all say " you just do not care when you are there" but I care now. I am scared of tearing and looking after stiches, hence DH has been put to use with perinal massage which he says is working, but is it working enough. Most of all I am worried about not being able to cope with the contraction pain. I think I have watched to many episodes of "birth day" on discovery channel and every single woman looks so out of it and in pain that it is freaking me out big time. Hopefully the relaxation techniques we have learned about will work.

  5. #23
    *Megan* Guest

    Firstly, thanks for posting this thread as I am quite scared about a couple of things and it will be good to talk about them.

    I was scared of having a boy (and I am having a boy) as I am worried that I might not be a good mum to boys......

    I am also terrified of an episotemy (sp) and tearing all the way down! I am a little worried about the epidural and the thought of a caesar (after reading the same thread Min did) is really scary too!

    Anyway- I'm sure that all will be OK - I have 4 months to sort it all out!


  6. #24
    ♥ BellyBelly's Creator ♥
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    Feb 2003
    Melbourne, Victoria, Australia, Australia

    There was a thread posted on this topic HERE... as a result I compiled the BellyBelly Members Top 10 Fears in Labour and sent it off to website Obstetrician, Dr. Nick Lolatgis and also a childbirth educator, both are going to respond to those fears and the articles should be up with the re-launch So keep an eye out for it, and make sure you are subscribed to our Forum Newsletter so you'll be the first to know when the site goes up. You can sign up by clicking here!
    Kelly xx

    Creator of BellyBelly.com.au, doula, writer and mother of three amazing children
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  7. #25
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Nov 2003
    SE Melbourne

    This thread is such a brilliant idea.

    There is so much that I am worried about, scared witless and totally freaking out.

    My NT test came back with a 1 in 79 chance of having DS, so that is worrying me, what if there is something wrong with my baby, will I cope?

    I am having a c/s and that part doesnt worry me at all, I have done it twice before and know what its like, but the point is...do I remember it realistically? Will it be worse this time around?

    I am also having a new OB with this baby, which is really strange and although he is absolutely gorgeous and really sweet, maybe he wont listen to me or something.

    The biggest fear I have is not being able to cope this time. This is the first baby that I will have without the support of my mother and grandmother, which is really hard for me to comprehend. I am not sure that I can cope with being a mother to a newborn without them. I know that I have my Dad, but he isnt well either, so I just feel so alone and terrified. I know that I have been told that I am high risk for PND, which is worrying too.

    Add to that, I failed my GCT, have to have a GTT next week, if I fail again, I know that I am in serious trouble. I hate needles, cant stand them and I am getting a lot of swelling of my feet and hands, which is not a good sign either. I am scared that I will develop toxemia/pre-eclampsia, and have to be admitted earlier, like I was with my first, but this time its so much harder as I have 2 older children to look after, an ill father, and a DH that works 12hrs a day.

    Arrgghhh!! Hopefully just getting all of that out will help me to feel a little better.

  8. #26
    Registered User

    Nov 2003

    iam scared about still birth! thats my one and only fear this time.

    last time the whole thought of labour scared me, i agree on that shower head thing, that was really good to keep clean down there and the massage effect helped the stinging. I didn thave stitches but i did tear, but i still found the shower that was moveable helpful as i couldnt bend down very far

    take care

  9. #27
    Debbie Lee Guest

    Thanks for letting us know about the other thread, Kelly. I had no idea the topic had already been discussed. Will definitely check it all out once the site is up and running

  10. #28
    Registered User

    Feb 2004

    Hmmm... my biggest fear may sound silly to some of you but since I have coeliac disease, my biggest fear is that bubs will end up with it as well. I couldn't imagine having to have him on a gluten free diet - its frustrating enough as an adult, but it have it as a child would be so much worse.

    It is a genetic disease but they don't know the percentages, so he may end up with it, he may not. [-o< he doesn't!

    Labour doesn't frighten me atm, I just want to meet him soo much, I can't wait for that to happen!

  11. #29
    Registered User

    Mar 2004

    I can relate to the fear of stillbirth. My SIL's second baby, a boy, was stillborn at 40 weeks. He died in the womb and they don't know why. She had to be induced and give birth to her son, knowing he was going to be stillborn.
    Anyway, when I was pg for the first time I was fine until the third trimester when I started getting scared that it could happen to me. I had bonded with my baby and I knew how I would feel if something happened. Nothing did, of course, but it is normal to feel these fears, even if you haven't had first hand experience of it.
    Having given birth twice I am amazed at my body and how it went through this huge event and recovered afterwards. I too was afraid of episiotomy and tearing but now having experienced both I can tell you it is not as bad as we think it will be! Same with pooing - I experienced that too and it was a fear of mine but when it happened I barely noticed and was beyond caring! Taken in context with giving birth, it suddenly doesn't seem that important anymore.
    I think it is healthy to have fears like this in pg, at least it means that we are making ourselves aware of things that can happen.

  12. #30
    Registered User

    Mar 2004

    sorry - I have no idea why that posted twice!

  13. #31
    rails Guest

    my biggest fear would have to be EPIDURAL .... if i can get thru the labour without one I will be verrrry happy !!! .... have mentioned to a few ppl & they all say - .... OOOHH you say that now ... just wait till you are in there ! ..... i know it is gonna be hard & painful ... but my fear of that needle making me paralysed is much stronger ... i hope i can last. It is a fear i have had for years & years ... not just since being pg , to make it worse ....a friend of mine had a bub about 6mth ago & has no feeling in her toes now after the Epidural the needle hit a nerve !!!
    Oh .... of course also my other fear is of there being something wrong with the baby - I won't be able to relax at all until they give the all clear!

  14. #32
    Registered User

    Sep 2004
    Melbourne, Australia

    I was scared of epidural, until I felt the contractions come on quickly - and quickly changed my mind to decide that anything that would alleviate the pain would be wonderful.

  15. #33
    squeeze Guest

    i like this thread! my biggest fear is the same as yours, rails - the epidural. and for similar reasons - i have been obssessively worried about being a paraplegic since i was a teenager and i even insisted that we install a ramp in our newly built deck around the house just in case of wheelchairs! i walk into any shop/restaurant and survey how a wheelchair would be able to access the area.

    so in short - i am ADAMANT that i won't have an epidural because it would be so psychologically damaging for me at an already traumatic time. DH is on strict terms to enforce my point with the staff at the hospital too (especially since i am very very very stubborn).

  16. #34
    Registered User

    Feb 2004

    Oooooh me too. Totally not wanting an epidural either.

  17. #35
    Registered User

    Sep 2004
    Melbourne, Australia

    You girls are starting to worry me re epidural risks!! I did worry and thought that I had ruled it out as an option, but was overwhelmed by pain and emotions at the time so had it.

    I understood that the important thing is just that you stay very still while they insert the needle.

    I had read that it is exceptionally rare to have bad side effects - particularly in modern, western society.

    I had a fantastic, competent anaesthetist with my epidural and I wish I could book him again! Unfortunately I don't think it works that way and (apparently) they just grab whichever anaesthetist is in the hospital vicinity.

    Well I guess my fear is the unknown - and for me, I am petrified of what I would go through if I DIDN'T have an epidural....do you think someone like me who is a bit of a woos would be ok without pain relief??

  18. #36
    Debbie Lee Guest

    I just keep telling myself that I have to be brave and try to put up with as much pain as I possibly can before I opt for an epidural. I think if I go into it knowing that it's probably going to be the worst pain ever and that it is just something I have to go through, I may be able to psych myself up iykwim?? I probably sound like such a "hopeful" person to those of you who have been through it before.
    All I know is, if it means getting bubs out safe and sound, I won't hesitate to have an epidural. But that's just me!