My DH was away (deployment) when I was at the same stage as you. Luckily enough he came home a week and a half before my due date to spend a month at home. Bubs was born on his due date (induced so DH would be there) and DH was off again 10 days later. If it was an option he wouldn't have gone anywhere. As it was, I was greatful to have him at home for the amount of time I did. My parents were on one side of the country and I was on the other.
While he was away I stressed and fretted over every little twinge, kick, unintended bladder leak etc... To make matters worse my OB went on holidays (to Singapore of all places!!) and returned the day before bubs was due.
Tell him how you really feel and give him a chance. If how you really feel is, "honey I would rather you be at home" then tell him and let him make up his mind.
It sucks being on your own as your due date gets closer.
At 35 weeks I would definitely be letting him go. It is only for 5 days and what an honour for him! At that gestation I was close to two months away from labour with my first. If you really thought you were going to go that early or had significant health problems then I say just let him go. It isn't often that people really get recognised like that from their employers.
DH has been away with work up until I was 38 weeks pregnant with both DS1 and DS2, I did stress a little bit, mainly before I would go to bed each night - you know - what if it happens tonight, blah blah - I have lovely lovely neighbours, who said I could call them day or night, which made me feel better. Can you put in place some kind of support network - does DS go to childcare and if so do they do emergency care - where he could go for the day if you go into labour. Do you have friends you could rely on in the event of anything happening. If you feel you could put an emergency plan into place in the event of anything occuring I would say yes, if not then talk it through with DH and point out the what-if's, etc, etc. You will be amazed at people who will be happy to help you out and put their hands up to help in these situations. x
i'd be inclined to let him decide. Tell him about your concerns etc and then let him make the call because if you put your foot down he might resent you for it in the long run.
And let's face it, being a bloke he'll probably opt to go... then I would be giving myself my employer award... hiring a cleaner for the week; having takeaway whenever we wanted; even hiring a babysitter/nanny for a day or two to give you a break. If the support isn't there with family and friends; then pay for it!
My dh was away from 30 to 39 weeks preg with my 1st child... no support, i wasn't working for the most part and it was horrible. but that was 9 weeks and by 39 weeks preg I was extremely useless to even care for myself and stressed... For 5 days at 35 weeks, should be much more managable... but then i only had me and not little ones to care for too. For DD I didn't let him budge, ever! lol.
Whatever decision you make, just make sure you are comfortable with it and won't regret it.
it does sound like a fantastic opportunity for him, but he might need to modify his plans, like someone else said... we women don't always have to make all the sacrifices you know!
personally i would be ok with him going.. in fact my DH did go towards the end of both pregnancies.
that said it will be reallyhard - but better that then when the baby is just born.
but ifyou feel strongly the other way be upfront with him. i have had trouble free pregnancies and both boys born at 39 wks. maybe some faily could come stay for a few days to help - i did ask my mum to do that.
You need to be honest with him about how you feel. I wonder if there is some compromise you can come to that may help you feel more at ease? Do you have anyone who could come and stay for 'holiday' with you whilst he is away? Or like pp has mentioned book in some extra care and help for the time he is away?
I would worry that missing such an acknowledgement would be seen as a negative from his work's POV as well as being something he should celebrate ITMS.
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