DH has been away with work up until I was 38 weeks pregnant with both DS1 and DS2, I did stress a little bit, mainly before I would go to bed each night - you know - what if it happens tonight, blah blah - I have lovely lovely neighbours, who said I could call them day or night, which made me feel better. Can you put in place some kind of support network - does DS go to childcare and if so do they do emergency care - where he could go for the day if you go into labour. Do you have friends you could rely on in the event of anything happening. If you feel you could put an emergency plan into place in the event of anything occuring I would say yes, if not then talk it through with DH and point out the what-if's, etc, etc. You will be amazed at people who will be happy to help you out and put their hands up to help in these situations. x
i'd be inclined to let him decide. Tell him about your concerns etc and then let him make the call because if you put your foot down he might resent you for it in the long run.
And let's face it, being a bloke he'll probably opt to go... then I would be giving myself my employer award... hiring a cleaner for the week; having takeaway whenever we wanted; even hiring a babysitter/nanny for a day or two to give you a break. If the support isn't there with family and friends; then pay for it!
My dh was away from 30 to 39 weeks preg with my 1st child... no support, i wasn't working for the most part and it was horrible. but that was 9 weeks and by 39 weeks preg I was extremely useless to even care for myself and stressed... For 5 days at 35 weeks, should be much more managable... but then i only had me and not little ones to care for too. For DD I didn't let him budge, ever! lol.
Whatever decision you make, just make sure you are comfortable with it and won't regret it.
it does sound like a fantastic opportunity for him, but he might need to modify his plans, like someone else said... we women don't always have to make all the sacrifices you know!
personally i would be ok with him going.. in fact my DH did go towards the end of both pregnancies.
that said it will be reallyhard - but better that then when the baby is just born.
but ifyou feel strongly the other way be upfront with him. i have had trouble free pregnancies and both boys born at 39 wks. maybe some faily could come stay for a few days to help - i did ask my mum to do that.
You need to be honest with him about how you feel. I wonder if there is some compromise you can come to that may help you feel more at ease? Do you have anyone who could come and stay for 'holiday' with you whilst he is away? Or like pp has mentioned book in some extra care and help for the time he is away?
I would worry that missing such an acknowledgement would be seen as a negative from his work's POV as well as being something he should celebrate ITMS.
DH went to Hawaii with mates for a friends wedding when I was 33 weeks preg with DS2, He was away for 10 days, DS1 was not walking and was 16 months old but I let him go as it was important to him. I also have no family near by to help.
I had no issue with him going at all I was just upset I couldnt go as well as I was not comfortable with idea of flying and my OB said no as well!
Unless there is some medical reason, I would be saying it would ok as well. Hard as it is, but I would also be trying to set something up so that if worse case scenario comes up you have some help hun. A bit different for me but DH went OS for 2 weeks when DS was only 3 mths old, and DD was 20 mths old. He went to see our nephew in Canada and it was really tricky juggling both kids (with help admittedly) but it was really important for us to send him over. I think it is a great honour for him and a great chance too. Good luck hun! xoxo
Apart from my jealousy of not been able to go with him I wouldnt see a problem with it. Its five days so you know you can do it, and yes it is really ****ty timing but what are the chances of this happening again??
Besides think of the duty free he can bring back for once bubs is here, and the power of having the "I cant believe you left me here all by myself to go on a trip to Singapore when I was 35wks pregnant" card over him is HUGE
Im thinking foot rubs on demand for a month is the bare minimum!
2013 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks