you know you're heavily pregnant when...

[alioops]

When, if you have to be admitted to hospital, they put you in the maternity ward instead of the sick people ward.

[Turkish Delight]

you just want the god damn thing OUT

[angelaartsstudent]

When you go to the doctor mentioned severe rib pain, which you assume is just baby pressing up against it. Turns out the bone is definatley bruised and probably cracked. No xray during pregnancy of course so cannot confirm 100% but aaarrggghhhh the pain is very hard to handle. Can't bend, stretch, breathe, cough, dress myself, sit in my office chair - just want to cry!

[Toomanytoomany]

...absolutely nothing your husband says is the right thing.

"You bump looks lower today." Don't say that, you'll get my hopes up!
"Your bump looks higher today." Oh shut up, I don't want to hear it.
"Do you want to make love?" Oh for goodness' sake, I'm the size of a whale and I can't move without a forklift, do I *look* like I want to make love?
"I don't want to make love." But I need your prostaglandins!!!!!!!
"You look so tired." Oh gee, thanks, I already felt like crap now you're telling me I look like it too.
"You look so lovely today!" Really? Well I feel like crap, and the least you could do is acknowledge it!!
"Do you want me to sleep on the couch tonight?" Noooo, don't leave me, who will rub my back?
"Do you want me to stay here in bed with you?" Noooo, I can't stand your snoring any more!!!!!

[Calluna]

lol TMTM that already sounds like me.

Also I did the roll of the sofa thing the other day. It was just too hard to sit up on my own and there was no-one here to help me. So I rolled off and got up from all fours instead. 5 mins later I realised what I'd just done and found myself thinking oh god, it's started. Lol.

Cant imagine what I'll be like when I'm bigger and hormonier. I'm only 25 weeks atm. rofl. I don't even have a big belly yet.

[Toomanytoomany]

lol TMTM that already sounds like me.

Also I did the roll of the sofa thing the other day. It was just too hard to sit up on my own and there was no-one here to help me. So I rolled off and got up from all fours instead. 5 mins later I realised what I'd just done and found myself thinking oh god, it's started. Lol.

Cant imagine what I'll be like when I'm bigger and hormonier. I'm only 25 weeks atm. rofl. I don't even have a big belly yet.

I shouldn't laugh but I am.

I said to dh the other day I can't understand why so many people expect me to get out of their way when we're in the shops or walking down the street. Changing direction is a major logistical exercise - I might rouse myself to do it to avoid being run over by a rubbish truck, but pedestrians... forget it. I'm heavier and grumpier than you. Go around me.

[angelaartsstudent]

LOL

I\ve been sleeping on the couch for MONTHS!

[joey123]

When you laugh so hard at these cause you know they are all soooo true, then all of a sudden your laugh turns into a cry and you're bawling like a baby!

[angelaartsstudent]

You go to sit down normally on your couch one afternoon and it BREAKS.

I kid you not. It happened.

[me83]

you poor thing! That really gave me a good laugh, but it doesn't sound like a very strong couch. I hope you didn't hurt yourself.

[angelaartsstudent]

LOL no but I got a bit of a surprise.

Luckily husband isn't too worried about it. I sms'd him after I did it (when he was at work) and apparently gave the office ladies a good giggle!

[young_mumma87]

i knew i was heavily pregnant when i couldnt bend down to put knickers or socks on (that was at 37 weeks and i rang my nan in tears coz i was over it and just wanted DS out!) and also in the last 3 weeks i slept on the fold out couch coz it as closer to the toilet and the bed was easier to get off than mine!! and i worked at a fish and chip shop and i realised that when working on the grill my arms werent long enough!!

[angelaartsstudent]

When ANY form of slip on shoe looks very, very inviting.

[angelaartsstudent]

When you can't be assed sitting down and getting comfy becuase you know it means you have to get up...and that takes 5 minutes in itself.

[Mon]

This thread is too funny and has helped lift my spirits somewhat as am totally struggling at the mo esp with 2 bubs on board. My heavily pg ailments:
- needing help putting undies / pants on.
- fluid retention galore, not just feet, but ankles calves and upper thighs / inner thighs. Even worse inner thighs feel like have tennis balls lodged there and cant close legs and waddle like a duck.
- After a foot massage swelling returns quite rapidly, esp if am on feet or sitting on chair.
- Belly rests on lap and have to sit with legs open cause feel like legs will fall off due to belly cutting off circulation
- No longer being able to lie down when sleeping and having to sleep in sitting up position with pillows propping me up.
- dreading night time, because you know that there will be a 2 hour period between 3 and 5 that you just cant get comfortable to sleep. therefore lots of night time reading or watching TV.
- Outings being kept to a mimimum because thought of walking up a/ down flights of stairs in apt block is too much to bear.
- kissing goodbye the dream of bliss period before babies being born as a time to go shopping, lunching and going to the movies.
- the remote control, telephone and laptop are your new best friends.
- pining longingly at your diamond rings which now dont even fit on your pinkie let alone all those nice shoes you own in your wardrobe.
- It takes ages to do the most basic of things like getting up out of bed or the lounge or getting dressed / showered etc.
- the littlest things make you cry.
- its becoming harder to remember life pre being heavilly pg.

Mon

[Inertia]

When you can't be assed sitting down and getting comfy becuase you know it means you have to get up...

Just so you know - thats how you know you're a mum, too.

Mine right now would be, when your kids fall asleep on the sofa and you think stuff it, and leave them there.

[Fleur]

When you have to reassess your parking spaces...
I leave extra room on the drivers side now after getting parked in the other day...
I seriously didn't think I was going to be able to get in, the woman next to me had parked over the line.. I couldn't fit between the 2 sidemirrors & had to walk around the back...thought about tapping on her window & giving her a mouthful, settled for glaring daggers at her

[angelaartsstudent]

When you can NOT in any possible way fit into the passenger seat of your husband's Hyaundi Excel. And I don't drive so there is no other option! :-)