*gasp* That girl did what?? That really is quite nasty. That's really terrible for her, that she thinks it's okay to act like that. She must be pretty unhappy.

And that really sucks for your daughter Mel. I'd be so disappointed if I was her.

I guess the thing for your daughter to do is not to play the game, you know? Pretend she doesn't care what this girl thinks of her, your daughter's out to enjoy her life and be a good person, be nice, be fun, be whatever she wants to be, and if that other girl doesn't want to be involved, fine, her choice, her loss. Your daughter reacting gives this other girl power, so best not to I reckon. Having an effect on your daughter's friends also gives the other girl power, but if the friends see that your daughter's not fussed either way, then that girl will be less impressive and seem a bit lame.

At the same time, this girl should be held accountable for her actions, cos they are NOT cool or okay. And bad things have been done by bullies, so you've gotta take it seriously for sure.

Also make sure your daughter can always talk to you about stuff, so even if she's been smiling on a bad day at school, she can lean on you when she gets home. It sounds like she feels she can be pretty open with you, that's such a grouse thing - good support will get a girl through high school!

As for her birthday...maybe see what she wants to do...perhaps you guys could go shop in the city for a day, or you and dh could take her out for a special dinner?

Man, high school really is brutal isn't it...big hugs to your daughter from me, girls can be so insane sometimes.