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thread: Holding children back = new trend

  1. #19
    Registered User

    Jan 2005
    Down by the ocean
    6,110

    I have both a Sept and a June baby at school (well not babies anymore but YKWIM). My Sept boy (M) needed an extra year but my June boy (A) didn't and I think he would have coped just fine if he started school at 4.5.



    I LOL at trend. It's not a trend at all. More like the parents being more in tune with the needs of the child and not sending them to school whether they are ready or not.

  2. #20
    BellyBelly Member

    Oct 2007
    Ever so slowly going crazy...
    2,268

    Regaurdless of age and time of cutoffs, I will be sending my kids so they turn 6 in kinder, and 18 in yr 12.

    Here we have a big problem of kids in other years not being able to play with their friends in aged sports, making them go back and play with the next year down. This actually can cause a LOT if distress for littlies, and a bit of teasing, having to go back and play with the "babies"...and this continues all through high school with aged sport teams unfortunatly.

    I also want my kids to finish school at a decent age, not 16 or 17. I dread my child going of to uni at only 16, 17, not being very mature, or even able to drive a car on there own!!

    So in Kinder, Za will turn 6 in the march, Kane in the July and with Harmony, her b'day is 8th January... so she will turn 5 and then start, and will be six just before going into 1st grade.

    Going along with the "trend" is a bigger one up here of repeating all kids before high school who are too young "to cope" with high school, at only 10, 11 instead of 12.

    I"d rather they went a year late and had an extra year of prep, then had to repeat without their friends.

    Thats just what we've decided to do.... . Every mum has to decide for her own family, and you will make the right one babe!!

  3. #21
    Registered User

    Nov 2005
    in a house!
    6,125

    jodie raised a good point about age sports! I also missed out on a lot of things.

    example,our school held a driving camp. All my friends went except me as I wasn't even 16 yet!

    Academically I excelled in primary school and found no real issues fom p-6. The biggest issues started to arise when things got serious in VCE. It made me realise that my closest friend had a whole 12 months more life experience than me and it made her study a lot easier.

    BUt yes, as my friends were all driving to school, I wasn't. I also wasn't allowed to go out as I didn't have i.d etc.

    Mason was born on the 15th April and I am 99% sure we will keep him home for that extra year.

  4. #22
    Registered User

    Mar 2008
    Sunny QLD!
    720

    Regaurdless of age and time of cutoffs, I will be sending my kids so they turn 6 in kinder, and 18 in yr 12.

    Here we have a big problem of kids in other years not being able to play with their friends in aged sports, making them go back and play with the next year down. This actually can cause a LOT if distress for littlies, and a bit of teasing, having to go back and play with the "babies"...and this continues all through high school with aged sport teams unfortunatly.

    I also want my kids to finish school at a decent age, not 16 or 17. I dread my child going of to uni at only 16, 17, not being very mature, or even able to drive a car on there own!!

    So in Kinder, Za will turn 6 in the march, Kane in the July and with Harmony, her b'day is 8th January... so she will turn 5 and then start, and will be six just before going into 1st grade.

    Going along with the "trend" is a bigger one up here of repeating all kids before high school who are too young "to cope" with high school, at only 10, 11 instead of 12.

    I"d rather they went a year late and had an extra year of prep, then had to repeat without their friends.

    Thats just what we've decided to do.... . Every mum has to decide for her own family, and you will make the right one babe!!
    Jodie, you have actually really given me something to think of/about.

    I really hadnt broken it down and thought of it that way. I sure dont want her to be at any disadvantage, and the few points you made there are actually very valid!!

    /off to ponder

  5. #23
    Registered User

    Oct 2004
    Sydney
    2,614

    I was born middle of june, and Mum told me that my primary school didnt want to take me because I was so close to the cut off date. She had to make some special application to the school to get them to take me that year. So, I started when I was 4, and turned 5 in the June of that year. I was ready to start, and mum wasnt keen on having me stay back a whole year as the preschool I was at told her I was ready and it would be best to send me that year. I was able to commnicate well, I could read pretty well for a 4 year old and all that sort of stuff.
    In primary school it was not really a bit deal that I was younger. The only annoying thing I remember was that in Kindy, everyone got a Dollarmites account with the Commonwealth bank, but you had to be 5 years old to have one, so I wasnt able to get one till later in the year.
    There were plenty of people who were a year (or more) older than me all through school. In high school, some people were 18 months older than me. I have to admit, in year 11 and year 12, I probably was a bit immature... but I think it was also to do with the fact that school was just not a good learning environment for me. I didnt do well at school, but I excelled at TAFE the following year.

    Even if the age cut off went by calender year, you'd still have up to a year in age differnce between the kids anyway? Theres really nothing much you can do to remove the age gaps. Also, if you move states, you end up with big age differences too sometimes, depending on where you are going to/from.

    If preschool reckons your kids are ready for school, then they probably are. Theyre specialists in that sort of thing so they are able to assess it.

  6. #24
    Registered User

    Jan 2009
    5,235

    I went to a Open Day at a private school today. As DD should be starting Prep 2010 so we are starting to look around.

    I was talking with the Prep teacher (or one of) and i asked her about the April cut off and how it will affect her as she turns 5 in March. She started with, "the trend these days is to hold the child back a year, keeping them at home for another year then starting them when they are 6"...

    "the trend?" i cant get past that statement....

    I went on to ask more question's, as DD's Kinder teacher and i think she will be well and truly ready, and the teacher at this school said they do evaluation's at the end of this year, as to whether she would be ready. Which is fine, but i just got to thinking.

    DD started 4 YO kinder when she was 3, turned 4 during first term. Her kindy teacher's didnt even notice a difference between her and the older children, as she was the only one who was 3 going on 4, not 4 going on 5. And so i had just presumed if she was to continue developing at the rate she has, then there would be no question as to whether she starts prep in 2010.

    But the way inwhich this prep teacher was talking was if, that it wouldnt matter if she appeared to be ready, they would most likely prefer to hold her back due to the "trend"!

    Now i have never been one to follow trends, and i am not going to start now.

    Why would i want to keep my daughter either, at home or at kinder again, where she will be bored and then possibly regress???!!! argh

    Anyway, i just really wanted to know some more, either thought's experience etc etc from other's who have been here. Being she is my first, this is all new to me.

    TIA
    What state are you in? I haven't heard of anyone keeping their child back till 6 for prep in Qld. Prep in Qld is the year before grade one. The whole idea of the prep changes in Qld were that children would be 18 the year they finish school - they must turn 5 by the 1st July to go. Some children will turn 6 in their prep year because they missed the 1st July cut off the year before. But your child makes the cut off by a lot. I don't understand why they would want you to keep them back another whole year. That would mean they would be 19 when they finish year 12 and mid to late 20's if they do a uni degree. That's quite old.

    The other thing to consider, as long as you pass the rules with ages, I don't think they can deny your child a spot.

  7. #25
    Registered User

    Mar 2008
    Sunny QLD!
    720

    Okay, im not just getting totally confused. ok

    I am in victoria.

    DD bday is March 2005.

    So she turned 4 this year, will be 5 by April 2010. So, if she starts school next year (prep), she will be 17 in year 12.

    Hmm that would mean she would be generally younger than anyone else..... right?

    So really, she shouldnt have started 4 year old kinder this year, if you were to look at it that way......

    hmmmm
    this is doing my head in!

  8. #26
    Moderator

    Oct 2004
    In my Zombie proof fortress.
    6,449

    Even if the age cut off went by calender year, you'd still have up to a year in age differnce between the kids anyway? Theres really nothing much you can do to remove the age gaps. Also, if you move states, you end up with big age differences too sometimes, depending on where you are going to/from.
    A year gap is always going to happen, but it is much better than 16 or 18 months, which is what is happening at the moment depending on the state. At least at year 12 all students will turn 18 at some stage during the year, as opposed to some turning 18 and another bunch turning 17.

  9. #27
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jun 2005
    Blue Mountains
    5,086

    We're in NSW. DS is in March, and all going well, he will turn 5 in his first year of "big school" which is kindergarten. Then there's the 12 grades. I think cos it's fairly early into the school term that he'd be turning 5, it would be a long year if we were to hold him back. I'll just be going on what the preschool teachers say about him. His will be a social issue more than academic I think.. I think he'll be smart enough.. just needs to work on some social skills! hehe.

    I have read somewhere that it's beneficial for boys to be held back to be turning 6 in their first year... was in Raising Boys? hmm.. might go have a look. Don't know about girls.. oh yeah.. it was something about certain skills that boys are 'behind' with compared to girls in the early years.. it even mentioned things like using scissors.. altho.. my DS was using scissors at 2, so not sure about that one LOL.

    I think just go with your gut and with what the preschool teachers say. If they're ready they're ready.

  10. #28
    Registered User

    Mar 2008
    Sunny QLD!
    720

    But see, she wont. She wont turn 18 until the year after she finish's year 12. She will turn 17 during year 12 (well at the start basically).

    So that could work in her favor, or against.

    i.e having a car in year 12 would be great, BUT, being able to get into clubs, could distract her away from studies...

    hmmmmprh

  11. #29
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jun 2005
    Blue Mountains
    5,086

    I was 17 in the January of year 12. I was driving to school, but couldn't drink haha. I didn't feel behind or like I was missing anything.

  12. #30
    Registered User

    Jan 2009
    5,235

    Right in Qld prep is the year before school. School starts with year one - pre used to be called preschool - till they changed it and confused everyone- two years on and we are still scratching our heads!

    That's why I thought your daughter would be 19 finishing school, if you kept her back for prep till 6 she'd be 7 in grade one.

    So with her being 5 in prep (year one here) she will be a year younger than children have to be to start year one here in Qld.

    I thought the whole point with Qld changing was to bring us 'in line' with the other states - clearly this is not true.

    I think it should be made uniform across the country and called the same thing too!

  13. #31
    Moderator

    Oct 2004
    In my Zombie proof fortress.
    6,449

    But see, she wont. She wont turn 18 until the year after she finish's year 12. She will turn 17 during year 12 (well at the start basically).

    So that could work in her favor, or against.

    i.e having a car in year 12 would be great, BUT, being able to get into clubs, could distract her away from studies...

    hmmmmprh
    I found when I was in year 12 those who wanted to go out did, regardless of if they were old enough or not, as that is what their friends were doing. Also not everyone who turned 18 suddenly went out clubbing and neglected their studies, it is really one of those things that depends on personality.

  14. #32
    Registered User

    Dec 2005
    In Bankworld with Barbara
    14,222

    TBH, not being 18 in year 12 (january baby so I didn't turn 18 till the following year) certainly didn't stop me from drinking and partying...

  15. #33
    Registered User

    May 2004
    Shepparton
    4,871

    I put DD#3 into 3yo fungroup this year and she was 4 in March. So 4yo kinda next year and school in 2011...

    I think most teachers see that most parents keep their kids home for longer so recommended that because there would be more than 12 months between her and some of the other kids. I KNow Violet would be more ready for school next year and would love it... but I don't want her to be at a disadvantage because of a few months....

    I dunno....

  16. #34
    Registered User

    Dec 2005
    6,706

    I didn't turn 18 until the February AFTER I finished year 12. This didn't disadvantage me in any way, shape or form. I wasn't exactly a socialite so it didn't bother me at all that others were out drinking and partying - I was happier at home with my nose in a book. For all that, I was dux of my year, and pretty bored through most of my early years of schooling. If I'd been kept back things would have been extremely painful for all concerned.

    You need to look at where she's at NOW rather than what she may be wanting to do in 12-13 years time. If she's ready for school next year, then send her.

    I suspect people are keeping kids back the extra year with private schools so that they're not out an extra year of school fees of their child needs to repeat. But not that long ago I was reading an article that said the "trend" was reversing - that parents were finding it more affordable to put their children in school when they are turning 5 (as opposed to 6 like this school is pushing) because it's cheaper than paying for another year of childcare.

    BW

  17. #35
    Registered User

    Dec 2005
    In Bankworld with Barbara
    14,222

    BW, I know several mums who have done that and the poor little things were in no way ready for school and with one family in particular, all of them have repeated kindergarten so far and I expect her DD that started this year to be in kindergarten with my DD next year. With public schooling there is little or next to no cost at all. Much much cheaper than several $1000's for child care

  18. #36
    BellyBelly Member

    Oct 2007
    Ever so slowly going crazy...
    2,268

    I know some people think that if she's ready now, just send her, but it does affect her whole schooling, not just one year.

    She will go to high school at 11, not 12 turning 13. You could find a lot of her friends are teenagers, and she's 11, with kids up to 18 yrs old in the same school.

    If she moves out after high school for uni or work or even travel, she will be 17, so unable to get leases etc. and could be that year behind in maturity to be living out of home alone and out in the real world, especially if she travels...

    I didn't want my kids (read;daughter!) with boys up to 2 years older than her, in the same year, being her boyfriend. In school I think 99% date their own year...she could be 14, dating a class mate, 16!!! I do know she could date anyone, but a bit hard to explain she should date the boys a year below her!!

    Please dont think I'm trying to sway you, just giving all the reasons we done it the way we did. Some may feel our reasons are silly, but to us they are very real and valid!!

    Only you know your daughter best, and can predict how she will cope with her schooling babe....

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