Ok - firstly I'm not an expert on the world so I'm just going to give you my experience and knowledge thus far.

1) - If you swapped roles with the mother of this child I can assure you that you would be fighting just as hard as she. I imagine that paying private school fees would maybe make this woman feel she should get her moneys worth (I know that probably sounds wrong I can expand if you need - but maybe tomorrow!)
2) I also bet the school started off with the best intentions in regard to funding aides - but the govt changes the goal posts on this sort of funding often. So at the start the school may have felt they could offer this but have been stuffed up a bit.
3) Private schools get 7 - 13% of aide funding, compared to what public schools get.
4) no matter how much funding any school gets it will never cover the expenses of an aide, no matter what level.
5) I hear the school when they say they cannot cater to this child - because they can't access the level of funding needed.


On the experience...as long as the person aiding the child understands them, it should be ok. Lots of times they just need distraction or a quiet place to regroup. I can't speak for everyone though

My son is the highest need level. YEP. But you wouldn't know it thanks to the aides at his school. He has plenty of friends, is a barrel of laughs and all the teachers love him to death. Proud mummy moment, I can't help it All he needs is time out when he might freak out.

I don't know the ins and outs but you seem very caught in the middle. Maybe you could let this mother know that in a different school her child would be funded for a full time aide....and there would be not so much need for the constant meetings and bunfights?

bbl - happy to clarify any points...in the morning!