Thank you again for the info. A $12K fine or 2 years imprisonment? Yep, I'd get that check done! It is concerning that there is no overseas check for non-Australian citizens, that doesn't seem right.

Lulu, the mother is aware that the funding is much better in the state system. She has told me that the state school system is funded by the state government and the private school system by the federal government? She has told me that the funding is far better in the state system, but I was not aware that the difference is quite so huge!! That just seems all shades of wrong... but that is a whole other can of worms! The mother has stated that she wants her younger child to be educated in the private system as that is the system that they have chosen for their elder daughter and it is more 'practical' for the younger daughter to be at the same school ie. one school pick up and drop off. The mother has also stated that she wants her children both in the same school because the elder daughter can then 'look out for' the younger daughter. I do get that, I expect my kids to look out for each other as well, but the expectations on the elder daughter are pretty high. Again, a totally different can of worms and really none of my business.

I hear what you are saying about fighting as hard as this mother is if my child had the needs that her child does. I have tried to imagine being in her position, but you can't truly walk in someone else's shoes. The mother can be aggressive and manipulative. I don't know whether she behaves that way because it is her personality or because she is dealing with a bloody hard situation. I try not to judge her behaviour and I think it is for the same reason that no one has complained when rules have been bent and policies ignored thus far. I have no desire to make life harder for this family.

I feel kind of scuzzy even saying it, but as you raised the issue of private school fees... my DH and I made the decision to educate our kids in the private system. We are fortunate to be able to afford it, although it is not without sacrifice. The school pays above award wages to it's staff in order to attract the 'best and brightest'. If an additional staff resource is required in the room, I expect the school to provide the 'best and brightest' available. It's one of the things we're paying for. The mother has always stated that the aide in the classroom is not for her child. She has said that the aide is to assist the classroom teacher with the entire class as that class presents a bigger workload for the teacher due to her child being a part of it. Semantics perhaps, but it is certainly true that the full time aide this year (it is a full time kinder program) works with all the children. She usually takes the child with additional needs and a small group of others and they work together under the aide's direction. It is not possible to integrate a child on their own! The children, being young, make no distinction between the aide and the other classroom teachers. They are all adults in a position of responsibility.

Given all of that, I do feel that I have some right to an opinion on whether it is appropriate to have a volunteer in the room to take the place of an aide. My child will deal directly with any adult in the room. If that adult is in a position of responsibility, I expect them to have some training and qualifications and I certainly expect that their background has been checked as required by law. The particular lady who has offered to assist seems nice enough (I've only known her a few weeks). When she interacts with the child (whilst waiting for the older siblings to finish school) SHE... TENDS... TO... SPEAK... VERY... LOUDLY... AND... SLOWLY... to her. From the brief time I have seen her with the child she is certainly caring and kind but doesn't appear to have any understanding or insight into the child's needs. Perhaps she would learn? I don't want my child to think that the appropriate way to speak to a person with an intellectual disability is to speak to them like the are deaf and dumb. It is so important that the aide sets the correct example in her own dealings with the child (and in correcting the behaviour of the other children toward her) and I don't know that someone without any training can be expected to do that.

I truly feel conflicted and unsure what to do. I think I might be hoping that you all convince me to do nothing! I certainly take it on board when poster's have said that having a volunteer is better than nothing. The thing is, if there is 'nothing' my understanding is that the child will have to leave the school. And that makes me feel terrible. But I think that all of the children, mine and the child with additional needs included, deserve better than a stop-gap halfway measure?

Keep the advice coming... I'm sorry it's long again, it's like I have two parts of my brain arguing with each other!