Just an update
we went an met with the principle and he was very good about it though he said he was absolutley disgusted and assured us that we would get to the bottom of it he tried to get a meeting with the 2 teachers involved for the next day my DH and I were keen and would have put off what ever we were doing to be there but one of the teachers ( the one with kids ) couldn't be there so it has been postponed for a week so it is next Tuesday personally i think the principle should have pushed her into meeting sooner to clear this up but it just gives me another week to stew on it i suppose really i don't blame them from trying anything to get out of facing us face to face i'll keep you posted