Would you go into debt for your childs secondary education?

[Indadhanu]

I remember reading an article about parents going under financial strain for their kids' education and apparently how it was not good for the kids. They pick up on the stress and it puts a lot of pressure on them, as a result they do not learn as well as they normally would.

Thats a good point... how would you react if they didn't do well or failed after putting that money into it?
Money can't buy grades, so yeah I still think unless the school offers something that they are totally and absolutely into I wouldn't pay that much. And even then success is never a given, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink...

[widdly]

No i would never g into debt for DS' high school education. If he wants to learn, he will learn great stuff at a public high school. If I went into debt for his schooling and I would become disappointed in him if he ended up working at Maccas or something. He can always do mature age uni or something when he is older if he doesnt do so well at high school, so Im not woried about it too much.

[christy]

We've started an education fund for our girls... we put money in every fortnight. Its supposed to be either towards a good high school or university. We don't put a huge amount, but hopefully enough that we won't be hurt if one of our girls needs a school that costs $$. If one say has a musical talent and needs to be educated that way, the money is for that as well.

[Marlene]

My DS is only in grade 3, but DH has made comments about wanting him to go to a local private school once he reaches year 7 (all boys school), not just because of education, but because it has an excellent sports curriculum as well, and is known for its academic and sporting achievements.
I don't really see the point...if we start saving money for that school now we won't be able to afford all the sporting activities that he is doing right now.

I think DH is holding out hope that he wins a sporting scholarship to get in, LOL.

[prama]

i'm so curious too now, Sue.

I dont think I'd go into debt for secondary school. One i dont believe in debt (well, cant help the mortage) and two, I'd rather use that money for uni, etc. DH and I both went to public schools, and I believe (this is my opinion) that it's good for kids to mix with other kids from all sorts of background - lower income/higher income etc.
And there are some very good public schools around us.

Yes, as the girls said, kids can pick up the pressure of us going on debt for them. I'd rather have some money in the bank for all our future security.
Having grown up the hard way, I had to take a loan for my own uni studies, so that helped me appreciate the value of money. I hated having debt hanging over my head. I'dwould also like my kids to pay towards some of their education, not because we dont want to pay for them, but for them to learn managing money before they start earning.
Yes, DS also has a bank account for his future savings/education

[Lolli]

No way. I'm a huge believer in public schools (biased by the fact my mum is a teacher). I attended a selective performing arts public high school and couldn't fault the education I got.

My dh went to extremeley expensive private schools right up until he was expelled in Year 9. He ended up doing his HSC in the public system and wouldn't have it any other way for our kids- public all the way. I'll have to ask him when he gets home if he felt the financial pressure, his mum was a single mum and I know she worked her butt off to provide private schooling for her kids (both of whom pretty much threw it back in her face )

[Cricket]

We send our kids to "private" school - a Christian school, because we want them to receive the same teaching at school as we would give them at home. That is VERY important to us, and so we currently pay about $7500 a year for DD1 to go. When she reaches highschool, we will be paying over $16000.
As far as debts go, currently we're not in debt, and I hope we can stay out, but if we had to borrow for our kids to have that kind of education, we would. Nothing more important to us than teaching our children well. It's not about the academics (although their schools are excellent in that respect!) or the sports first and foremost. For us it's about the faith.

[Nicambhar]

oh sorry peeps.. all hell just broke lose here, while I was out getting DS Bella woke and realised it wasn't me next to her, it was DF .. got me a velcro baby..

Ok, my personal opinion.. I think that if the child is good enough they will do well no matter what school they go to. I also don't believe in paying for education on credit.

My current situation is pretty dire, it's a day I knew would come round and have been dreading.. My XH and his wife insisted that my DD attend a school 'where the base fees are $17k per year, now this doesn't include camps or other compulsory trips like the $6k one to Nepal next year. Nor does it include the laptop hire or the array of different uniforms +++++ need I go on.
I was not happy with this and tried to reason with XH. His response, I am paying for it and you needn't worry.. K, what if something happens and I end up with the kids and have to rip them out of a school we can't afford. Nor can they for that matter, I am fairly sure it is all on credit as I have seen their finances through a childsupport matter and it's not pretty.
To try and cut this short, XH and his wife have kicked DD out of their house after a fight because they think she is rude ... hello, what 14 yr old isn't rude. Well the total responsibility has fallen into my lap now. I am thinking that it is quite convenient as a few things that have happened of late are leading me to believe they are in massive financial difficulty.
DD is in hysterics about leaving her friends now. I have offered at least 4 other schools that we can afford to pay cash for. We have money in our house but in saying that DF and I left both our marriages with nothing 6 years ago and both started again and have worked so friggin hard to get to this point..
XH sent an e-mail to DD, cc'd to me, saying that she isn't allowed back home again and her school fees are due ( um today ) for the last term and that if I cared about her education I would pay them. He also said that he can't change the fact that I don't think that paying for a top school is worthwhile and basically tried to blackmail me into continuing the fees at the school.

Have I lost you yet???? going to run and make a cuppa, will be back again..

[shellbell3]

I'm a little muddled, sorry! So is she currently in a private school that he has been paying for and now he is refusing to pay because she is rude?
Sounds like a very sticky situation.

[Nicambhar]

sorry about the confusion, I am so confused too LOL..

all 3 kids live the majority of the time with X, he got the $200K settlement cause he took more custody of the kids and was going to provide them with their education.. Now the money has dried up, the kids are settled into wickedly expensive schools. DS has done the swapsee thing and we changed his school we couldn't afford and then he went back and they changed his school again. This is the first time DD has done it to us.
When DS walked out on them they just cut the school payments off and asked for the uniorms back - oh so childish.

shellbell - was thinking even about calling the school and telling them, even showing them the e-mails and asking if we can come to some arrangement for the last term. I kind of feel that they are tying to get out of looking like fools for pulling her out of the school so they are blowing some argument out of proportion and making me look foolish and embarrass myself for taking her out of the school due to financial difficulty IYKWIM

[Fuzzywuzzy]

Oh crap, wasn't expecting that. It does sound very suss that they have kicked her out and then tried to dump the responsibility of the school fees on you around the same time. Um.. hello.. just because you kicked her out because she's "rude" doesn't mean that you don't have to take responsibility for your decisions and finances.
I hope that it all works out for you. Although it seems like the end of the world for you DD she will be fine if she has to move schools.

[shellbell3]

Just re-reading that he sent an e-mail to yr DD about the whole thing! Sounds like he is being so childish. And he shouldn't be dragging her into financial matters. Could you just pay up for the rest of the year then look elsewhere for next year?

[Marlene]

Make sure he signs something to say that you now have sole custody...and put her in public school.
Short and sweet, sorry.

Private school is a "want", not a "need". If he "wants" her to continue at private school, then he pays for it. If he doesn't pay, you send her where she "needs" to go, and where you can afford for her to go.

okay...maybe not so short, lol.

Would you go into debt for her...and then send Bella to public school?? That's not fair.