Would you go into debt for your childs secondary education?

[Jellyfish]

I went to a co-ed private high school and intend to send DD there when the time comes. I won't be going into debt for it but like Bath, think that you have to spend money somewhere so it might as well be on getting an education you are completely happy with. Of course there are great state high schools and when we actually get to that point, we might change our mind based on what has happened over the next 10 years but for now we are happy with where her name has been placed.

I'm not in a position to be going into debt but I think if I was, I wouldn't. Definitely not $1000s and $1000s in debt. I'm not really comfortable with spending money I don't actually have (although, there are times I would reconsider this stance; a conservative home loan for eg).

ETA: Also should add that if our financial situation changed or the fees sky rocketed to a point where it would not be feasible for us, we would look at public schools until we found one we were happy with rather than go into debt.

[prama]

hmmm - just to clarify...
are we talking about private schools from primary onwards or just secondary?

[FabFiona]

I don't know that I would go into debt for my childrens education.

I went to a catholic school growing up. The fees at that school were not very expensive, certainly not like the private schools in the area that charged around 15K - 20K per year.

I have very strong memories of my parents struggling to pay my school fees around the time that my dad got sick then lost his job. I hated that I used to get called to the office to get a 'special envelope' from the accounts department. I would have been around 14, 15 years old and I still remember the sick feelings of guilt. I loved my school, but I hated the fact that my parents were stressed about my fees. I remember investigating scholarships at private schools on my own to try and take the burden off them. I didn't want to go to the public school that was over our back fence, because it had a terrible reputation for behaviour and academic performance.

In the end I'm pretty sure some of the fees got waived due to our circumstances and then they went on a payment plan. Being a catholic school, they were very good about the whole thing and I think the problem in hindsight was that my parents didn't communicate their situation to the school.

Now, these fees were not expensive - as an adult I've spent more on a couch than what the fees cost per year. But it was the debt aspect and the stress that it brought onto our family.

Anyway, perhaps a different perspective to the public v private debate that's been going on in recent posts but given the question was originally about debt I thought I'd share.

Cheers,
Fiona

[Bathsheba]

Another beautifully balanced post FlowerChild I totally agree: the most important thing to keep an open mind. Parents that make up their mind that only one system or the other is going to best for their children, I think, are losing an opportunity for their children.

[Liz]

I don't begrudge anyone putting their money into their kids education. I just don't believe that because parents are paying $$ that their kids are going to be any different. I could pay big $$ and my child could still become the biggest rebel and run off the rails, having no motivation or interest in academics. I could pay very little $$ and my child could still excel academically.

I think too I don't like the attitude that some come of private school with, that they're a cut-above the rest of us (experienced this at work... with people I was working alongside! How exactly did it get them further ahead than me when we're working alongside each other??) I mean.. once they go to uni, they will be mingling with public school people anyway.. heaven forbid! LOL.

I thought you could shop around public schools to some extent.. we always had people at our school that travelled on the train from elsewhere.. they weren't all locals.

I understand that if the local schools were atrocious and no-one had anything good to say about them, such as parents of kids going through having issues with various teachers etc and the presentation of those schools, then i can understand a necessary switch to private.. but at the same time I wouldn't over extend ourselves to pay for it.. which is what the OP asked.. would you go into debt for education. Nope.

[Inanna]

Awww Liz I don't think people are suggesting in this thread that those who have private education are better... That's not what I have heard here.

I think that when a choice is made to pay for education it is because that choice is believed to give that student more opportunity or a more conducive to learning/discipline environment.

I truly get why if your local state highschool was a bit out there that you would pay for something better to keep in the same community.

I don't think private education churns out "better people" I think sometimes it gives a more diverse opportunity to focus on strengths or weaknesses. But certainly not always!

I think it is an individual school that you need to choose - that may be private or public. However, you only have one shot at education in your child - as parents we are all trying to do the best for them. We all come from differing frames of reference.

I only have one state school and one state high school in my community. To choose not to go to that high school I would have to put my child on a bus to travel 45 minutes to and from each day. For me I have to swallow the lack of discipline and accept the good things or move my entire family. Because for me it's important to school in my community.

My younger kids can either go to the state school or an independent school. DD14 went to the state primary and it was very very disappointing. So I choose to pay for an eduacation I can sing the praises of on many levels.

I don't think my children are better because they are independently educated - I do however think they are more rounded. They don't think a man in an orange robe is wierd and they can meditate, play guitar and sing without feeling wierd!!! To ME that is more important than a lot of things that others may find more important.

We are all so individual.

[Liz]

Awww Liz I don't think people are suggesting in this thread that those who have private education are better... That's not what I have heard here.

No I didn't say it was here.. it's what I experienced at work. People that went to private schools on the expensive side of Sydney. I don't like that this attitude can be formed just because their parents paid for a fancy school. But then they can get that attitude just living in some rich areas LOL.

But it does come down to the importance you place on education. We (DH & I) prefer to have a more balanced view of it, that it's not THE thing thats going to make or break our kids. There is more to life than academics & sports. We won't discourage education, and will be encouraging them to strive for what they want to do, of course, but we aren't going to be placing such focused importance on it, if that makes sense.

[Phteven]

Meh! School schmool!!
I know a couple of people who didn't enter into formal education until they were over 10 and they went on to acheive university degrees (one of them was my mother who moved around a lot because of WW2). So my life experience tells me that people can be well adjusted and well educated without the benefit of primary school.
As for high school - I posted an article above about a student from a school that isn't even in the top 100 for HSC achievements who attained amazing grades.
I figure that attitude of the student is more important than the school they attend.

TBH I often feel that the education system these days is more about training our children than educating them. In order to qualify as a school they all have to agree to teach the state syllabus.

[Bathsheba]

A school's culture is probably the second most influential aspect of a child's life after home life. I think it's appropriate to send you child to a place that reflects that of your home life and family values. I value self respect, respect for others and respect for property at home and I feel that I need to pay to have this replicated at my DD's school. I don't really care so much about the academic side of things. I believe that the brightest person will fail if they don't have these forms of respect (for self/others/ property). My DD's school is VERY big on fostering compassion within their students. The students have a very high profile and (compulsory) participation in the local community... my DD regularly goes to the local retirement villages as part of the school's community service program. Becoming an engaged member of community doesn't just happen... it has to be guided. I'm not saying all private/independent schools manage this better than public schools... just that I have found one that does. The school also has very high statistics for girls continuing on to Melbourne Uni... about 3/4 each year... but that doesn't really bother me... I just want my DD to become a caring and engaged member of society... she can grow up to be the local garbage collector as far as I'm concerned... but I just want her to share my values.... as any parent would.... and these are the values promoted at her school.

[Inanna]

Mmm I get that Bath. That's why I struggle with DD high school. Whilst it has some values I share - the respect for self and others thing to me gets a bit lost in the way the kids dress and behave in public.

However at the younger kids school that is the big reason why I chose that school for them. Because it replicates what I hope to achieve at home. And the times I fail it's picked up at school...

There is a no junk food, no packaged food, no sugar, meat food policy - whilst we eat a bit of meat at home the rest is so very very much part of what I believe we should be teaching kids. That those cool individual serves cost the environment plenty with landfill. That crap food = crap output. Etc etc.

Also for me the spirituality and the exploration of that is important. The respect for evry living creature and for the value of each and every person. Non violent communication. Non violent toys. All the stuff that I have always followed.

So for me I had to pay to get the continuation of what I hope to achieve at home.

I am happy to do that and will continue to do that.

I agree with Bron that education is now more about training than learning. That troubles me too.
I have big issues with elitisim so the private school mentality thing sticks in my neck a bit. The labels, the right car, right address, right clothes etc etc...

Having said that that happens at DD state school also...

[Astrid]

I think too I don't like the attitude that some come of private school with, that they're a cut-above the rest of us (experienced this at work... with people I was working alongside! How exactly did it get them further ahead than me when we're working alongside each other??) I mean.. once they go to uni, they will be mingling with public school people anyway.. heaven forbid! LOL.

I find the work attitude to private schooling interesting. Pre children, I was once advised by one of my managers that if I were to have children that would need to be privately educated otherwide I would not be able to get promotions Nothing about what was best for the children, but for some reason how I chose to educate had a major influence on how worthy I was at work. Any increase in salary due to promotion would be eaten up by school fees and I would have been worse off financially. I have now turned my back on that type of career.