TTC after Miscarriage or Loss ~ January 08

Welcome to TTC after Miscarriage or Loss for those of you who have just joined us. We hope your TTC journey is quick and successful. We are sure you will find much loving support from the other women on this challenging journey.

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The previous thread is here.

Canary - I just wanted to also let you know that you aren't the only one to be having mood swings.
I have been jumping between crying, shouting and laughing all weekend. I have now had 2 huge fights with DH (though I don't think i am entirely responsible :lol:) and then the next minute we will be best friends again. I think it is normal for our hormones to be all over the place, and couple that with fragile emotions, it makes for a rocky ride.

Well I think I can say that we have started to TTC again. I am not really certain what is happening with my cycle, but I think I might be ovulating at present. We are going to take it casually and see what happens. I do need to talk to my naturopath though, as she wanted me to wait until end of Jan. I realised yesterday that if it makes me feel better to not wait, then that is the right thing to do. I just hope the herbs she has me on won't be a problem for TTCing. I have emaile her to find out, fingers crossed they are okay.

Hope everyone is doing okay today. The weather in Melb is matching my mood - stormy!

Of course you werent responsible with DH, Is it ever our fault.... and even if it is we can always pretend it isnt. ;)

As for trying again after M/C well I havent gone a full cycle yet but charted and know that OV yesterday, temps gone back up today. BD was definately the order of the day. So now we wait but its not a negative wait, If it happens great if it doesnt well at least I will know when AF arrives and when AF arrives I can start fresh anyway.

I have a temps question - does your temp go up after you have ovulated? My naturopath has me doing my temp and I have no idea what it all means. My temp has been around 36.3 for the last 2 days and then this morning was 36.2. The lowest is has gotten was 35.9 last week. 36.3 is the highest it has been so far - only been temping for 2 weeks though.

What a busy thread!

Angel Babies: some girl I went to high school with got preg naturally after she had an IVF baby (and that had been a very long road). You just never know...

Canary: you're not loopy to get babylust. I think it's built into us. Sending a cyberhug for the awkward moment with your friend. and the mood swing thing? oh yeah. been there done that.

ll80: cyberhug for you too

Leigh26: good luck!

nicksterUK: I was 35 when I had my last baby. I'm 40 now and still trying!

Katiegirl: I think I got you confused with someone else LOL! Happens more often as I get older...temp should go up 24 hours after you ovulate.

Katiegirl you should go to Fertility Friend's website, they have all the info you need on temping/charting etc.

Hi ladies
I am new to the site and just wanted to say that all my 'lurking' over the past week has given me so much hope for the future. everybody is so supportive.

I had no probs at all conceiving with my first two miracles so when I miscarried #3 I was in shock, but with #4 preg couldn't believe it was happening again.

Cos I am getting older (ok I admit it!) I think I have gone a bit obsessive/crazy - I am using the microscope, decided to start temping next cycle (fingers crossed won't need to??!), charting cm, using fertility friend, have just ordered preseed even though my ewcm is fine - the absolute works!!!

I can't believe now that the first 2 pregs I wasn't aware of any of this - I was very lucky.

New year and new babies to you all!!

Hi sam and welcome, sorry for you loss, come and join in.

Welcome Sam I hope your stay here is a short one! come and have a piece of cake...

cyber hug for you too Tempus, just be gentle with me lol.
busy packing and cleaning all day I am absolutely buggared. Nothing a beer won't fix infact I am on to #3 already :)
In a way I am relieved not to be doing this while pg, everything would take so much longer as DP can't organise himself a shower let alone an interstate move IUKWIM.
Can't wait to be settled in my own house again and start TTC.

Hi to everyone and I hope you have all had a lovely weekend
...Laura

good luck with the packing, we moved a year ago, wow we had so much stuff, with having 4 children, we have decided not to move again till most have left home.

Welcome Sami....... breaking out the cyber cake..... chocolated.... mud .... of course.

I too had 2 straight forward pregnancies....... way back when I was a young thing... lol. This is certainly an eye opener. The other 2 pregnancies were taken for granted. Now...... goodness. Its like being in a school learning a subject you know nothing about and the teacher is not very nice. I like you went and brought up all this stuff so I know what the heck I m doing. I dont remember the last time i read and read and read, my eyes at times are blurred. BUT the people on here are amaizing and having the support is addictive.

Laura.... as for hubby not being organised..... I soooooooooo know what you mean :wall: last time we moved I had just slipped a disc in my lower back....... invalid...... had the three of them trying to move........ OMG......lock me up and get me out of here....... they were infuriating through their mismanagment of the whole process....... ohhhh yeah i m sort of a bit of a control freak that has to have everything organised.....incase you couldnt tell

hehe I am a bit the same, and end up doing most things myself as I can not wait for someone else to do it when I think it should be done now, so to keep inline with my organised plan.

My last pg was easy too, apart from horrid morning sickness for 6mths was 'text book', can't help but wonder what the next one is going to be like.
I wasn't so sick with the last one and it didn't stick, so my gauge is if I am not hugging the porcelain throne 24/7, something might go wrong, I will be a nervous wreck!

Ohhh my first one..... projectile.... and without notice. I remember one day folding up all the clean washing...... and wham......... allllllll over it all. :ms:

Well lets hope next time your hugging it, but not too tightly

Angel Babies- TMI!! Lol

Sami- welcome, hope you find comfort and BFP with us x

This is short- am very, very very very.... cheesed off today! Not in the mood to do anything- just want to walk out the house and keep going....

:-(
I'm sure I'll be fine, will return to you later xx Hugs all

Hi Katie girl and Nickster. Glad to hear that I am not the only one who has been in a foul temper this weekend! Maybe it is a full moon?
Katie- Have you had your first AF post m/c yet? I have been told to wait for AF before TTC again.
As i am STILL having bleeding now and then, we werent really doing BD as had been told to wait for the bleeding to stop first. Got sick of that (and most things, really) and decided to do BD anyway. I am not charting, so have no idea whether I have O'd or not. We are not actively TTC, but if it happens, then great. From reading stuff in here, it doesnt seem to do any harm to get UTD without waiting for AF first.
Sami, nice to meet you. Sorry for your losses. Come and join the third time lucky club!...
Laura, good luck with your move

Didn't the weekend go quickly?! Only work to look forward to now!

Hi everyone

Welcome Sami - all the best of luck to you:)

CD 6 today so nothing to report - just excited to be ttc again.

Take care all & hope to see some BFP in here real soon!

Its when you the most peeved that you throw something our way Nickster..... if not through a post then maybe a private message....... Thats what we are all here for to support each other and be there for each other...... and have others there for us.

PM me or MSN..... if not me then someone else.....

We have our joking around sometimes but that doesnt discount where we are and what we are trying to do here or the pain or frustrations with each of us.

LIke this..... AB.......blah blah blah blah...... blah blah blah blah...

And I will be like .....blah blah blah blah..... here have some cake.... blah blah blah

What we are going through is chit...... we are here for one another, we might not have the answer to the situation but one thing we do have is a shoulder to lean on.

yeah Nickster feel free to unload here, big :hugs: hope your feeling better...

as Angel Babies said there is PM and MSN if you need a chat, anyone can feel free to MSN me I am always up for a chat.

Not much to report here other than packing, what is making the packing less tedious is knowing that each day gone is one closer to TTC again

..Laura

SamiH: I'm so sorry for your loss and I'll be keeping you in my prayers. I know what you're talking about. I had two uneventful pregs, one MC, another uneventful preg, then three MC's in a row. You always think the first one is a fluke. And I"m older (40) so I can relate to that, too. This is a great website for people who are going through this trauma, so welcome.

nicksterUK: hope you're feeling better

AJC: good luck!

1180: you've got a good attitude--keep it up!

Thanks for your wonderful support :grouphug: I just seemed to have a day when everything went wrong, everyone wound me up...etc. I asked DH to come for a walk in the end, and on the way through the village we decide to stop at the pub for a drink. It was lovely, and although we only stayed 1/2 hour it was just what we needed. BD last night so DH very happy!

Went back to work properly today- my goodness I hit the ground running. I feel tired, but relieved that it wasn't as difficult going back as I thought it might be. (I had butterflies this morning!). I expect that was partly why I was so tense yeaterday :doh:
Saw the lady who i thought was pregnant (isn't it funny how we can spot them a mile off- like a 6th sense) and I was right. I just asked her outrigt and she said 'yes, 13 weeks' and then explained that she felt really terrible for me- so I gave her a big hug and said how thrilled I am for her- which I genuinely am, so I feel quite proud of myself too. She's EDD the week after I would be, in July. It will be strange to see her belly growing. I hope it's me soon- well all of us actually, would love for us all to be in PAML together xx:clap:
Thanks again, I just couldn't think straight yesterday but feel pretty good today. Hope you're all well, and busy being jiggy. Still got fingers crossed for those TWW!

Hello,

This is my first time to actually write rather than just read. Hopefully in the next little while 'trying to concieve' will be the order of the day with us. I'm curious as to whether there are any women who experienced a missed miscarriage and then chose to wait for your body to complete it naturally ie NO surgical or medical intervention? And how long did you wait?

I have been waiting since October 31st during a routine scan at 9 weeks that showed my baby died at 6 and half weeks. I have had a termination and a emergency cesarian previously and did not feel right about a d&c. Since then I have had bleeding here and there, fortnightly ultrasounds, hospital staff who have given me the option of medical evacuation ie prostaglandin pessaries. The most recent ultrasound showed the sac has now collapsed and the whole thing has reduced in size. It is almost small enough for the hospital to say not to come back and get on with life but not quite.

So I'm curious are then any women out there who have experienced something similar and how long has it taken? I'm a bit tired of all this but I was determined to let my body deal with this in its own time. I was fortunate enough, having regular ultrasounds to see that my body actually re-absorbed the feotus - unusual but it does happen so that has been a great comfort to know my little one will always be part of me.

Issa

Hi Issa and welcome.
I am sorry to hear of your loss, I hope that you find some help and support with these lovely ladies here at BB . My missed m/c was picked up when I should have been 10 weeks, but I had m/c at 7. I wanted to opt for the natural management, but bled so heavily that they decided to give me the medical treatment. i only had the tablet, though, not the whole of the treatment. I am still waiting for AF, but have had bleeding on and off ever since (it all started on 31.12.07). Sorry that doesnt answer your question completely, HTH.

Nickster, you are so brave facing work and the pregnant lady. I found my first day back at work a bit tough, but then things were OK.

Everyone else, hope you are all OK. Fingers crossed for the TWWs.
c

Good afternoon ladies...I am new to the site. We had a "chemical" pregnancy in March 2007. We recently m/c again and had D&C 12/19/2007, we were 8 weeks pregnant. I only bled lightly maybe 2 days after...nothing since. I had a follow-up appointment lastweek and was given the green light to resume TTC. We are hoping for quick results as we will both be 37 this year. I have 2 beautiful children a son 14 and a daughter 11; he has a 4 year old daughter. We are hoping to make a baby togerther and expand the family.

Hi everyone and thanks for your warm welcomes !

Gee nickster I too hope I find a nice BFP ? I am 8dpo today and am getting impatient already, I hate the tww. AJC, do you think waiting till o is worse than the tww??

Canary I really like the sound of third time lucky, after all, we all deserve it.!

Going back to work after the Christmas/newyear break has revealed more bellies at my work (about 9 last count) and I get cranky when I see some of the younger ones (cos I am soooo old LOL) outside with big bellies smoking and laughing, I try not to look anymore. I can't see inside their minds, but of course I jump to the conclusion that they take it for granted everything will be fine! Selfish, I know.

We have only started TTC again this month,but I am armed with lots of information for next cycle, it is exactly like learning a new subject Angel Babies, I just wish I was as interested in the topic back in school!!! (I have never temp charted but like the idea so am ready), but fingers crossed I won't need it, very wishful thinking.

My best friend also told me she was 4 weeks preggers a couple of days before we lost bubs by missed m/c in October, so that is hard at times cos we spend so much time together. Sometimes I just can't ask how she is but our friendship is strong enough that we have talked about it and she understands if I am quiet or don't ask any questions like how her check-up went etc. We were so excited at the thought of our bubs being 8 weeks apart. I still can't let go of the why her and not me spiel that goes through your head.

Anyway, my first rambling, not too bad hey!

Would love to hear some good news BFPs in here over the next couple of months.

Off to the clean the critters after brekky ....

:crossfingers:

Hi Everyone
Been away for a little while feeling queit down at the moment as really want to have ababy but on the other hand really scared may m/c again. I just don't think i can go through all that again.
Welcome Sami and may this year be the year for you and you family as well as everyone else here.
I was so sick with my daughter right through until 21 weeks. With the 1st mc i was not sick, 2nd m/c not sick but the last one i had all the same symptoms as with my daughter plus i was feeling great about it.
Does anyone know if there are test to find out if you cannot carry a certain gender?

I am so sorry if i sound really down but i am at the moment and i know i m/c in Nov but i think it is jsut hitting me emotionally and just cannot get on top of it. Sorry again
Trac

Trac, I am sorry you are having a rough time at the moment. I am not sure if there is a test for gender so can't help you out there. I just wanted to send you a hug and I hope you are doing okay. You don't have to apologise about the post, we all have tough times and that if why we are here. You will only find support and understanding on this thread.

Hi to everyone else, especially all the new people. Not much to report here. Canary you asked if I had AF since the mc - hard to say for certain (as I have had spotting on and off since the D&C) but I do believe I might have AFed a week and a half ago. I also think I had O a couple of days ago, so we made the executive decision to start TTCing. My naturopath wanted me to wait until the end of the month, but I decided it felt right to start now. My sister who has had 2 late MCs (but also 4 healthy children - so there is hope), gave me the advice to start TTCing when we felt right, as she believes that if we waited to long we would become scared and this would affect our chances. I thought a lot about what she said, and decided she was right. So it felt right to start, so we have! Fingers crossed we have some luck soon.

I hope we start getting some BFPs in here, as that will bring some much wanted hope.

Nickster.............. You go girlfriend, If you are hugging your pregnant co workers then you are doing so much better than I am. I actually served a couple of customers over the weekend.... The thing is about customers is that if they are in a bad mood they will put it all onto you, I find myself standing there thinking............Right buddy, you got stuck behind someone in traffic so your in a bad mood and your taking it out on me..... Here you go, here are my shoes, take a walk around the block in them and then come back and complain about your p1ssy little issue. Just dont forget Nickster........ we are all here for each other.

Issa..............I was also determined to let my body deal with everything in its own time. For me it twofold, firstly that way they are still with me, I still spoke to them each day it was as if nothing was going to happen, I treated them the same. Secondly because of the maybe some miracle was about to happen to prove the FS wrong. I still had all the symptoms, my bubby belly was getting bigger and bigger..... So just maybe he was wrong...... he wasnt and they both arrived on the 31st and the 1st (dec/jan)..... So I completely understand wanting to wait, its very difficult emotionally but I dont regret my decision.

Sami......Ohhhh the pregnant smoking younger ones...... ohhh the patients you must have. Especially in my direct thing I got going on at the moment.... the whole say what I think and if they dont like it to bad.... I can not see myself being able to walk past them and say something, mind you if they have got the whole attitude thing going on then they will probably snap back and say it was because I was so old.......As for the new subject... I m ready for school. My little package turned up yesterday. A "sergipack, Ovulation Digital Thermometer" as it say s on the pack..."Also known as a basal or fertility thermometer".... apparently its water proof.....hmmmmmmmmmmmmm Then I have 2 packs of "lullaby Conceptions Ovulation Prediction Kits"....pee sticks and then "Taking Charge of Your Fertility Software"....Ohhh version 2....Apparently it does all weird and wonderful things. So right now I m like every other "kid" waiting to be able to start school. I have around 1 to 2 weeks to AF arrives or a BFP arrives (one week for the BFP) and if its AF then SCHOOLS ON

Trac..... absolutely nothing to be sorry about. We all go through it and we are all here for each other when we go through it. I really can just be doing something quite normal and wham..... down I come, crashing. I believe the trick is to allow yourself that time, and then get back up again. Grieving is not something that follows a calander.

WOW, I think I did the multi post thing ok, Mind you it is probably a novel the way I go on sometimes.

Everyone else, My thoughts are with you all, Major sticky vibes for all TWW, fingers crossed for those post OV/BD. Ohhhh and there is also another programe on SBS tonight...7.30 or 8.30 I think. One of the last ones in the series was egg donations.

hi ladies

first off Sami, Smilantu, and Issa - I am so sorry for your losses. you will find so much support here. i don't know what i would have done withour BB. also this thread has the best cake, hands down.

sami - the TWW is awful. i have about 1 week to go, feels like i have been waiting for something forever.

trac - :grouphug:i am sorry that you are down right now. I lost in Nov too and it is such a roller coaster ride.

Speaking of cake...... whos doing the baking today.....chocolate please

Anthonysmum, I will hope and pray that we both have BFPs by the end of the month, would be a nice way to start the year. Mind you, I will probably then hibernate for 3 months and check my undies everytime I go to the bathroom (TMI I know hahaha). One step at time Sam .....

Angelbabies I have been watching that series on SBS - 7.30 tonight - last week it was about egg donation and pros and cons, and this week about same gender parents and their journies to become parents.

I am waiting for my thermometer to turn up today! I sooo hope I won't have to use it ...

Trac, we all feel for you and I know I will probably always go through sad times losing bub/s, especially after seeing bundle on u/s 1 week earlier and everything was flickering and glowing in all the right places, and then the next time - nothing. So take the time you need to, it is ok to still feel sad. The pain doesn't go away does it - just numbs a bit :)

I need coffee cake, I am so exhausted I need the benefits of both coffee and cake all rolled into one.

Well I have been a bit bad and worked so hard with moving and cleaning I have pushed myself to exhaustion. I should know better, after all the blood loss of the m/c I am very low in iron/heamoglobin so I should be pacing myself.
Yesterday my body packed up and said no more, I almost fainted had to go lie down for a while, I've had extreme low iron before so I know what it feels like. I could and have in the past fell asleep standing up.
So I am taking it easier today, as much as I can movers are coming tomorrow so I need to do somethings but DP has been wonderful and won't let me do anymore than I have to.

Once I get back to Melbourne and my GP i am going to get the works of tests so that I can get back to my normal self again and start TTC properly.
Just before I go pg a blood test showed that my thyroid was under active and I had low cholesterol, apparently it's just as bad to have low cholesterol than high.

Hi to everyone, hope your days are going well.
Can't think enough to do personals, might head off for a nap before I need to clean a bit, MIL is coming to stay with us today...YIKES! hehehe

...Laura

Yeah I agree Sami, there are kind of two x two week waits aren't there. Hmmm both very frustrating times. Am in my first of the two week waits now - waiting for O to pounce on DH. he he he

Sending you coffee and cake, but smacking your hand first for overdoing it (eventhough I am the absolute worst at it) As for MIL visiting...... good news is your moving to another state......LOL

Welcome Issa and Smilanatu (great tag!) :hello: Sorry for you losses, hope your stay here is short, although it may be bitter-sweet.

Laura- you are definitely overdoing it! make sure DP and MIL wait on you hand and foot. Get your feet up and enjoy some cake! I had lovely, moist carrot cake at wok today, with lemony buttercream icing mmmmm.... Good luck with the housemove, have fun 'Christening' your new bedroom (and bathroom and kitchen and...ooh saucy! sorry!)

Trac- hope you're okay, believe me we know how you feel :grouphug:

Hi Canary- how's things? I'm absolutely knackered- was a crazy day at work. :asleep:DH has booked BD tonight- so i'd better recharge my batteries so I can get jiggy later!

Sami and Anthonysmum- got fingers crossed for you x

Angel babies- I 'think' the same thoughts as you- but bite my tongue REALLY hard...although some do slip out haha! oh well, life's too short eh?

Sending babydust and cake to you all xx :bluedust:

Wow i have been so busy , now i have so much to read to catch up on you all. hi to the new ladies, sorry to hear of your loss.
yesterday was my birthday and i had a great day with my friends, 2 of them had made me cake , yum , now i fell so fat today, my day was good with my friends , but my DH didnot make much effort i am so annoyed, why are men like this.i am now 15dpo temp took a drop , hoping AF will , i really think something is wrong, if it doesnt arrive, and my chart is doing what it shoud , not good. sorry to go on.

Thanks for the welcomes...it is so good to have found a nice friendly spot...with others who feel exactly as I do with most of the same questions and thoughts!

nickster...believe it or not my tag is my name...LOL s. milan...I added the atu for fun :)

Hi everyone
I am feeling alot better today and thankyou to everyone for there well wishes.
Katiegirl - i agree with your sister i think you should start trying when it feels right for you and your family. I was told that i had to wait until at least May before i could start trying again but i amready now so i will be starting TTCing as soon as possible it just feels like the right time.

I think tonight is the night.

I am really not sure about the temp thingy or the big O thingy i feel like such a virgin in regards to all this even though i have m/c three times. There has been no discussions with doctors in regards to charting etc. i am gaining so much new information from you lovely women.

Take Care and Happy TCCing
Trac

nicksterUK: so glad you're feeling better and work went okay!

Issa: I'm so sorry for your loss. I"ll be praying for you.
Actually, I have heard of fetal resorption, but I didn't know that they still "do" that nowadays. But it sounds like you had lots of monitoring.
My own longest time between onset of bleeding and passing the baby was 6 days. But the wee one had died 4 weeks before bleeding started.

smilanatu: I'm sorry for your loss. I"ll be praying for you.

SamiH: yeah, it makes me cranky too when I see pregnant ladies smoking and drinking.

Trac73: I understand your ambivilance and fear. When I get AF, I feel equal parts regret and relief. I know that sounds completely mental for being on a TTC forum and all, but it's how I feel. Sending cyberhug. Never heard of the gender thing, but maybe you're on to something--medical science doesn't know everything.

ll80: I have hypothyroidism, too. It's easily treated with levothyroxine and I carried three healthy babies while on it. But you may want to get tested for antithyroid antibodies, too. And PLEASE put your feet up and rest.

bettyboop: my best wishes are with you. temp went down, AF should follow. if not, you know what to do...

All I did was sleep and you lot all woke up and posted.... now i m all confused as to replies..... I m not good at this multi post thing but here goes.

Tempus..... how is everything going with you?

Trac..... Completely agree with everything being when it feels right for each individual person. Straigt after I lost my babies I read some posts in here about trying again and i just couldnt imagine doing it. Now less than a month later i ve been charting and if it the BD worked last week then cool. Each person, every one of us must go through this process of grieving and TTCing at our own pace. Its our own personal journey.

Smilanatu....welcome... welcome.... welcome... hope you enjoy your stay but hope its not along one..... I wonder, is there a thread for those who where have been TTC after M/C or loss who are now BFP..... that way we can all stay together, or at the least come back and tell us what link you are in. when you get the BFP

BettyBoop...........Happy Birthday for yesterday. I saw it on the front page and kept an eye out for you yesterday to say happy birthday but didnt see you. Hope it was a great day. As for DH and then non special bit...... grrrr to him. My hubby knows i want special for my birthday and i m gonna be a grumpy b1tch if he doesnt do it. He knows full well that I believe birthdays should be over and above all other days and the day should revolve completely around that person. So its like he has this mission. Each year he has decided he has to make each birthday better than the last one......... at this rate.... i m soo looking forward to my 80th. As for the charting, well still to much of a beginner on that one.

Nickster............. You crack me up. I m sitting here on my puter reading the posts, laughing out loud. Hubby turns round and looks at me.... I m ohhhh its nickster again...... blah blah blah blah... and i tell him what you said. Its amaizing how he knows most of you, because he was like... ohhh thats the lady from the UK. To add to your comment..... why stop at the kitchen. Last time we moved we had a dice.... and this is going to be far to much information for some of you but at least I m warning you ahead of time. There were 2 dice. One which had rooms of the house and the other... well positions. It was our favourite game for months.

Ok well I think I successfully did the whole multi post thing. Now as for me and what I m up to. Well I brought this you beaut program that not only charts for you but tells you each day what the chart means. Really good for us newbies. So now I know that I am 2 days post 0. That during 0 there was a lot of jiggy or BD and that now i am in my 'infirtile stage of my cycle". Having said that, it is the first cycle since i lost my babies so it could also be totaly off balance. So now I am in the holding pattern ..... waiting.. waiting.... waiting, cant even call it a TWW as it could go on for longer or shorter. Which is not a good thing it just brings more uncertainty. My last IVF cycle while i didnt like the TWW at least i could count down to D day. At the moment i have nothing to count down to. Which for someone like me who likes everything to go to plan and how SHE planned it. well i m just up the creek without the paddle arent I.

I do have to say something though, I am so greatful for finding you ladies, I am so greatful for finding this web site. The pain I have been in and what I have gone through has been softened by knowing you all and being able to talk to you all. These days I am positive, I can joke around, only on here... cant do it with face to face people yet, but i can on here and thats whats helping me to heal. Thats whats allowing me to see parts of the normal me instead of the constant grieving me. Thats what helps me to keep my head up. As for my babies, I still talk to them everyday but up above instead of in my tummy. I am waiting for the crematorium to call me. I have an Urn coming over from the states, it was the most beautiful angel hand carved out of marble. Once it arrives the crematorium will put my babies ashes in it and then call me so I can pick it up. In the meantime I continue to work on my memorial Scrapbook. I ve decided to do 4. One for each of my babies, a combined one for DH parents and an IVF one to show the IVF journey. I have never done scrapbooking before and never thought I would. But....... I want these to represent how much I loved and how much I was prepared to go through for my babies and then how much they are missed.

Ok well I think thats me all done and caught up. Have a wonderful day ladies

good luck with your scrapbooking Angel, I am sure you will do a wonderful job, hopefully as time goes by you will be able to look through all those memories without so much pain.
big :hugs: your such a strong lady!

Nickster, when we first get to Melb we'll be staying at my dad's so might have to stay off the kitchen bench for a while or that could be quite embarrassing. When we get our new house though will be on for young and old and no surface is safe!

Happy Birthday BettyBoop!

Hi to everyone else, I hope that you're all traveling well.

I can rest and relax for a few days now, the movers have been and taken all our gear this morning, so nothing to do except pack clothes into suitcases. We fly down on Monday so a few days to go. Only downer is my nice new computer is packed away and I am on an old piece of junk with a piece of sh*t ergonomic keyboard, these things were invented for torture and typos.
I am feeling a bit better to thanks for all the slaps I needed and enjoyed them, oops sorry probably TMI :P

Well thats about all can't stand this keyboard anymore
...Laura