i measure nothing so will guesstimate - hope it makes sense

i add about two generous tablespoons of butter/margarine (i use the low cholesterol marg cos i get heartburn from everything else - even on toast sigh) into a large heavy based saucepan
melt it down and then turn the burner down as low as you can
once butter is melted add some plain flour mixing as you go - you should get enough plain flour to absorb all the butter, but not leave it dry in the pan. it generally ends up being similar amount to the butter.
keep stirring all the time
cook off the butter/flour mix a little - you want the flour to take up the butter flavour but not browned or burned
now - this is how we do it - you don't have to add these!
we add salt and pepper for flavour, add in some grated parmesan (either fresh or the packet stuff - not from a tin - that stuff is gross!) - stir it through. the parmesan may stick to the pot a bit - that's ok cos you won't be leaving it long at all!
another optional thing - we add a 300ml of thickened cream - it makes it creamier but isn't essential if you don't have it.
if no cream, add a bit of warm water - just enough to make a thick paste with the flour/butter mix - the cream works the same - its' one way to help avoid lumps

now you add the milk - i only add between 1/4 and 1/2 cup at a time - mix it through and keep it moving so it doesn't burn or go lumpy - i use a whisk when i'm cooking white sauce. each lot of milk, make sure it's mixed thoroughly and you have it thickened up - you might put the burner heat up a little bit - it depends on how hot it is, how confident you are with making the sauce etc.

keep adding milk a bit at a time until you get the right volume for what you want. i always make it a little runnier than i want for the vege bake to make sure it's not too thick when i add the cheese

now, once you have the volume you want - add your tasty grated cheese. we kill the heat completely, put a generous handful or two into the pan, mix it all through, make sure it's relatively well melted - this will thicken your sauce up a bit. done

with the vegie bake we make - i ensure that the vegies are cooked but not soggy, put them in the bottom of the pan i'm going to use, then top with the sauce - mix it through, then add more - makes sure you don't get too much sauce in there. you can top with more cheese if you want, but we don't bother - lotsa cheese in there already!

this is a rich sauce, so we tend to not have too much sauce - the veg is just coated, not swimming. if we're doing it as a main (generally with chicken in it) we do larger chunks of veg than we do if it's a side (with steak or something).

i hope that makes sense - have had three attempts at typing - the feet of a tired bubba kept deleting bits!



i was thinking of you yesterday and hoping it was the best day it could be given the circumstances.