I think it is important we teach our daughters to love their bodies, feel comfortable in their own skin, to not hate their nudity, etc etc. But having positive body image DOESN'T need to correspond to body flaunting. I think that is the message that gets lost.
They need to know they are beautiful within themselves, instead of getting that message from the looks of approval of men and friends, from wolf whistles and winks.
FWIW I think the most beautiful and sexy women dress classy, not skimpy.
Susie O'Brien has a blog on today about Deborah Hutton (she's 50) doing a full frontal nude photo shoot for Women's Weekly (or some similar). The blog is all about how we should be comfortable in our own bodies and not worry about photoshopping photos etc.
Certainly teens these days wear different things from what I did. The whole Goth scene was something different - I don't recall that being around when I was younger (or, more probably, I didn't move in circles where that was acceptable).
On the whole, I think your attitude reflects your upbringing. I was brought up in an upper-middle-class suburb, went to top-notch private schools and then onto law at university. It's a fairly sheltered upbringing. My attitude to dress is well in accordance with my upbringing.
If I had a different upbringing, then I would probably have a different attitude.
We make my almost 14 year old do the bend over test before she goes out ( as in if we can see bum cheek when she bends over the shorts / skirt are too short to be worn out in public) and so far we've only had one argument about how I'm being mean and unfair.
If her older brother had his way she'd never leave the house with any skin showing as he gets really stressed out with some of her clothes. Mostly she's a boho mess but sometimes she pulls it together to look good!!
DD2 is growing so quickly that she always wears boarded under her dresses otherwise she ends up flashing her knickers within 2 weeks of owning something new.
hmmmmm rewind 20 years...how many times did I go out of the house wearing what my parents thought was respectable, to only change at my friends house or roll the top of my skirt up so it was hell short???? My daughter is just 6, but the height of a 10 year old. We have to buy her clothes in the pre teens section. No pretty lacy dresses for my daughter, up the bum cut off shorts are all that are available.
My nieces are 12 and 13. Compared to some of their friends they dress conservatively! However, they both wear shorts which in my opinion are far too brief to be worn in public. Seriously, if your arse is hanging out the bottom, they're too short!! My 13 year old niece in particular looks far older than her age. She is very tall (dad is 6ft 8in!) and well developed. I have seen the way grown men look at her. The attention she receives, even when dressed 'appropriately' is already of an openly sexual nature. I don't believe she is aware of the attention she is getting, although she looks very mature she is not particularly mature in her personality. My concern is... she and her sister and their friends are wearing clothing which attracts attention and invites men to peer at their body. But at 12, 13, 14.... they are not yet mature enough to deal with, or to even understand the nature of the attention they are garnering. A recipe for disaster in my opinion! The clothing (tiny shorts, tops with bras on display) suggests a sexual maturity which these girls don't, and shouldn't, yet possess.
I am certainly not suggesting that a woman who dresses provocatively is 'asking for it'. The idea of blaming a woman for sexual assault because of her clothing appalls me. But I do think that we, as mothers, should protect our children form an adult idea which they simply don't understand, or which they may believe they can control but which we know they can't.
I have spoken to my sister about the clothing my nieces wear (ah, yes... the padded bra my 12 year old niece wears under skimpy singlet tops! WTF??). But she fails to see a problem and tells me that this is what they like to wear and what all their friends wear. I have also spoken to my nieces about their clothing choices, but they simply tell me that they like it and it's comfortable.
Coincidentally, yesterday I was discussing the issue of short shorts with a girlfriend who came over for a swim. We both have 8 year old DD's and both were wearing short board shorts with their rashies. When do short shorts become inappropriate? At what age? I think they are fine for any age at the beach or the pool, but I have taken my DD to the supermarket in hers. Neither of our girls is developing and they are both quite small for age, but we had both reached the point of considering whether those board shorts are appropriate away from the beach or the pool. When do you think they are no longer appropriate?
And do they then become ok again at a later age? Because honestly, I have no problem with a woman in her 20's wearing short shorts or skimpy clothing. She is mature enough to know and understand her own sexuality and sexual attention and if she chooses to dress in a skimpy way... well, all good for her! So , do you think skimpy clothes are ok on girls/women who have reached maturity?
BellyBelly Life Subscriber
My daughter is just 6, but the height of a 10 year old. We have to buy her clothes in the pre teens section. No pretty lacy dresses for my daughter, up the bum cut off shorts are all that are available.
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks