Oh Tali just a quick suggestion as my two boys are going to need "sorting" soon (bickering over toys). My first thought when reading your post was that your son might be feeling like he can't identify with anyone ATM. What I mean is that boys of this age really start to depend heavily on male role models as they drift (in a healthy way) a bit from their mums. Perhaps you son is yearning for more attention from your DH... this is a tricky one hey with your DH's distant jobs? There is a good book that I am always recommending called "Raising Boys" by Steve Biddolph. Perhaps what your son really means is that he can't identify with anyone... he doesn't know himself because he has no other male model to help define himself against. Because his logic is immature (as it is with ALL 8yos) he is misinterpreting this feeling as "hate" where I think he probably means "confused". Just a guess. Anyhow, try to grab yourself a copy of the book... it might help to make a bit of sense out of the situation before it gets worse. And in the mean time don't despair the best thing you can do for your son is demonstrate that you can "handle" these big scary feelings. He can't control them and if you show him that they really are big and scary then he will get even more scared.... You don't have to know all the answers... just outwardly be calm and loving and assure him that you have heard him and that together everything will be able to be dealt with. This in itself will really calm him.