I can feel your pain in your words - I am sorry you are feeling so raw & unsure.

I have learned in life that we can't please everyone. However when you kindly and with conviction live with authenticity things have a way of being okay.

I hear that as you see it your children have been the cause of a lack of respect for you in the town your live.

I am not sure if perhaps you are perceiving the "bad name" to be worse than what it is. I know for me I don't make judgements. I meet someone and I take it at face value. I think most people are like that. Yes, mud sticks - but as I see it you can choose to believe that people are judging you - or you can choose to hold your head up high and live a good life.

I reckon the latter would make you happier than the former.

As for the engagement. I would definitely go - wish her well, give her love and good wishes within your own thought out boundaries.

Good luck