My own Mother NEVER came to my first engagement when i was 19 ... we didn't get along, and it truly didn't bother me that she wasn't there ... BUT to be honest it would have felt nice even for a moment if she DID come, and it honestly wouldn't have bothered me as me at the time even being 19 i would have understood it took courage for her to come if she did and for that it would have bought me some level of happiness ... After all she is my one & only Mum, regardless if i like her or not !!

Sue as a grown woman yourself you know how life can be so darn short and to think about how important an engagement can be but remember it's not quite a Wedding ... so if you ** don't go ** to this engagement i think you would have set in stone that you would never be invited to the Wedding, with that thought can you ask yourself if you can live knowing that ... If you feel that you can't or even take that chance then i think you have answered your question which is TO GO !!

Like someone else before mentioned you don't have to be there all night and then at least you can live with knowing you did your best putting everything else aside that has happened between you both ... I have to say i would look at you like one fab Mum for plucking up the courage to go and ' if ' it all turns haywire at the engagement you then need to DO what's best for you !!

(Hope i have helped some )