My theory is that people always behave in ways that meet their needs, even in they're not aware of doing so. Adolescence is a time when massive changes are happening so it's too early to say that this girl is going to definintely have a dramatic personality style but she could be headed that way. I'm not sure she would think she's boring as such, she might even believe she's quite interesting because of all the dramatic things that keep happening to her - to you (and probably me) looking in from the outside, people like this often appear to have very little of substance going on in their lives or relationships but I think some people just need to have lots of interpersonal drama in their lives. It meets some kind of need - either for attention, a sense of importance, a way of attracting others to them, a way of feeling a bit excited about life, a way of avoiding other issues, of expressing themselves, resolving conflict and alleviating boredom would be another. It could even be related to the way their brains are wired in terms of neurotransmitters etc. Taken to the extreme (in an adult), creating and chasing drama is usually considered a personality disorder (when it causes significant problems in the individual's life and relationships). Does she appear to 'get over' the dramas as quickly as they arose? Or does she hold on to each drama and milk it for all it's worth? This would say different things about her emerging personality style and the reasons she chases dramas.
I reckon she sounds a bit self centred (what teen isn't though?) and possibly has fragile self esteem and so is prone to catastrophising the worst possible interpretation of events. She may have also been raised in a way where getting caught up in dramas was modelled as an effective way to solve problems (then again she may not have but creating drama got her attention in a non-dramatic family itms?).
Sounds like your DSD has good boundaries though. It would be interesting to see what this girl does if her friends stopped getting caught up in and responding to her 'dramas'.
Last edited by ~Kaz~; December 18th, 2009 at 08:55 AM.
: clarifying comments about personality in teens
- to you (and probably me) looking in from the outside, people like this often appear to have very little of substance going on in their lives or relationships but I think some people just need to have lots of interpersonal drama in their lives. It meets some kind of need - either for attention, a sense of importance, a way of attracting others to them, a way of feeling a bit excited about life, a way of avoiding other issues, of expressing themselves, resolving conflict and alleviating boredom would be another. It could even be related to the way their brains are wired in terms of neurotransmitters etc. Taken to the extreme (in an adult), creating and chasing drama is usually considered a personality disorder (when it causes significant problems in the individual's life and relationships). Does she appear to 'get over' the dramas as quickly as they arose? Or does she hold on to each drama and milk it for all it's worth? This would say different things about her emerging personality style and the reasons she chases dramas.
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