BellyBelly Member
thanks kim x
Lorelle, I just posted in your thread, you are amazing. I also thought about how XH will get away with out having the responsibility and keep jerking DS and I around, its just that its been 4 years now of me trying to knock some parenting sense into him, I feel like I am flogginga dead horse IYKWIM
... OMG you sound like the friend in my thread, she's just beyond it ... with her EX it's **All** about him. He was over at her place a few weeks ago and she told me he was gonna take the girl's out for the day but he stayed sitting on the couch for 3hrs without seriously moving. Then she told me in front of him how someone was knocking on her door at 1am that morning, she was petrified and rang him to come over (he lives only a 10min drive) so he sat there without batting an eyelid about someone belting on the door at 1am but instead whinge that she woke him up and how tired he is now, WTF ... and she mentioned to me in front of him that it was the first time in a year of the split that she had ever rung him for help.
I told my DP about it as he met him briefly once and he said straight away he is immature and self-centred.
How do you knock parenting into someone after 4years when they haven't 'got' it yet ?? She is so the same Elissa and she would understand you !! One thing she is so glad about the split is that the home enviroment is so much more peaceful then when they were living together and it was important to her that her girl's didn't live with one if not two miderable parents !!
BellyBelly Member
This morning he messaged me to say that he would be dropping Archie off at 9am on Friday instead of 4pm cause he is dropping his car off to be serviced at 9:30am. So apparently it isnt possible to take care of your child when you dont have a car for a few hours???
SO, I dropped Archie off to childcare then went to XH house with my calender and told him I refuse to be so flexible wany longer. I made him sit there and lock in dates and times that he will have Archie for the next 3 months. I told him he had to commit to a time for pick up and drop off and stick to that time. He tried his hardest to fight against committing to a time, giving me all these excuses, "what if I am tired from night shift?" blah blah blah, nearly got heated but he played the game eventually and I have his Archie times locked in on my calender and I made him put hten into his calender while I was there, so now there should be no reason for excuses or arguements. If there is, then my head might start spinning and green vomit will probably spray!
Works out that he has Archie 3 nights a fortnight, **** poor for someone who works 4 on 4 off, but better than nothing.
... you know what you can only do what you can do, if XH isn't going to be involved like you would like him to i can't see how it's really going to change, he will break a pattern eventually if it's what HE goodness sakes doesn't want to do ... if at this age he can't think past himself for his own adorable son well that's his silly lose, what a fool he is.
As for Archie he will survive above it all, and he will one day learn you did the best you could for being two parents.
Focus mainly on your and Archie's relationship, you two enjoy your lives together .. make that a fulfillment and fill it with all the love, laughter and happiness that you are able to ... make it your LIFE to do so ... and as for XH leave him to fail at Fatherhood, i understand you are doing it for Archie but you can't make him a better father after all this time, XH has to DO that so leave him to it pftttt !!!
Off you go Elissa GO live life and love your days with Archie, what a little whirlwind of love right there not to mention the laughs you will have with him.
Time to live life now, no looking back ... it's time TO GO FOR IT woman
BellyBelly Member
Lorelle, you are like my own private cheer leader! LOL
THankyou sweet, I read a couple of self help books last night all about loving ME and looking after ME, they knocked some sense into me and taught me that whinging about XH all the time will only make me feel worse. Time to let go and forget him, Achie and I are gonna have the BEST life starting now!
... oh i just sooooooo love that, yep in a nutshell sounds blardy fantastic ... YOU GO GAL
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