thanks kim x

Lorelle, I just posted in your thread, you are amazing. I also thought about how XH will get away with out having the responsibility and keep jerking DS and I around, its just that its been 4 years now of me trying to knock some parenting sense into him, I feel like I am flogginga dead horse IYKWIM
... OMG you sound like the friend in my thread, she's just beyond it ... with her EX it's **All** about him. He was over at her place a few weeks ago and she told me he was gonna take the girl's out for the day but he stayed sitting on the couch for 3hrs without seriously moving. Then she told me in front of him how someone was knocking on her door at 1am that morning, she was petrified and rang him to come over (he lives only a 10min drive) so he sat there without batting an eyelid about someone belting on the door at 1am but instead whinge that she woke him up and how tired he is now, WTF ... and she mentioned to me in front of him that it was the first time in a year of the split that she had ever rung him for help.
I told my DP about it as he met him briefly once and he said straight away he is immature and self-centred.

How do you knock parenting into someone after 4years when they haven't 'got' it yet ?? She is so the same Elissa and she would understand you !! One thing she is so glad about the split is that the home enviroment is so much more peaceful then when they were living together and it was important to her that her girl's didn't live with one if not two miderable parents !!