2 years ago I made the biggest decision of my life but I fear that I made the wrong one.
DS was an unplanned pregnancy and as this is being posted in the single parent thread Im sure youve gathered that his father and I didnt make it.
With all his faults my ex is an okay daddy. I know he loves his son and I fear that I dont love him enough.
I think I made the wrong decision to keep the pregnancy and to keep full custoday of DS. But I dont know what to do.
I have little family support, they support us financially but thats about it. I always feel like I am on the outer, the black sheep so to speak. I dont have any friends here not for lack of trying.
my sons father and I dont talk anymore and I feel like Im all alone raising this child.
I dont know what to do. If I could go back 2 years I would never have continued with the pregnancy.
I dont know what to do. I dont want to regret my decision again but Im tired. I dont want to do this alone anymore.
Sending you lots of hun
I think maybe you might find it useful to talk to a professional in your area to help you through this.
This may not be the right thing - i don't really know what it's like to be in this situation.
hopefully someone will be in soon to help you out.
xxx
Are you able to leave DS with his dad for a week maybe and take off somewhere on your own? It might help to get away from the daily grind if you can. Remember you for awhile,
It's probably not that you don't love the little fella enough, you may just be so tired and worn down that you have no chance to appreciate how you feel about him.
xoxoxoxo
It may be good to find someone to talk to if you can - a professional that can help sort your feelings out.
I'm agree with what the 2 previous ladies have said and I think definitely get some professional help, maybe even start with a ghildrens health nurse and he/she should know where to point you to give u the resources you need. Wishing you the best of luck and a huge hug, i THINK YOU ARE VERY BRAVE TO POST YOUR FEELINGS, KEEP REACHIGN OUT!!
Hi Abigail,
Oh love, just wanted to send you a big as well. I agree with what the others said, you are probably so tired and can't find time to deal with your own emotions and you have this little one want want wanting all the time.
It can be really hard, especially on your own.
Im in a similar position - dd was an unplanned pregnancy (I was on the pill!) and her father and I seperated when she was three months old.
Just wanted to say, hang in there. You will have some really special moments as well as hard times.
I think its funny, I managed to get through the baby stage ok - and dd never slept so it was pretty hard going, but then when she started to get a bit older, and a. I had more time to think, and b. she wanted me more emotionally, then it was really hard going for a while.
There's a good book called the science of parenting (you can prob get it at the library) and there is a chapter on looking after yourself. One of the the things that stood out for me is the need for emotional refueling. Actually I am just flicking through it now - dd had it out to look at the piccies, there is a lot of good things in there. She talks about the effect being alone all the time has on your brain chemicals.
Things I found helpful anyway,
- there is a creche at the pool here, where you can book your kids in while you go for a swim or get a cuppa at the cafe. Its nice for a break.
- talking to a counsellor
- spirullina
- socialising (even on here I found it good). You might like playgroups etc. I actually found them more isolating because I didn't have much in common with the other mums, but it was still good to get out of the house. Are there any free kids things on at the library near you? Do you have any old friends you could give a call? Do you have any interests (like painting or dancing) could you join a club?
- sit your ds infront of playschool every morning and sit outside for a cuppa or meditate, or whatever does it for you. Make it easy for yourself for a while. Don't worry about being a perfect mum, just do your best for now.
Also, give yourself a time.. Its a big life change. Going to take some time to come to terms with it.
Hope you have a great day tomorrow
xx
oh hunny, I wish I could give you lots of great big hugs x
When times get really hard I have regrets too, you are not alone in that, and my DS was VERY planned, and I have heaps of family support. I think you should talk to your GP about your feelings, Im sure he/she can recommend a counsellor and some ohter support networks,
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Help? :(
hun
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