Hi Abigail,
Oh love, just wanted to send you a big as well. I agree with what the others said, you are probably so tired and can't find time to deal with your own emotions and you have this little one want want wanting all the time.
It can be really hard, especially on your own.
Im in a similar position - dd was an unplanned pregnancy (I was on the pill!) and her father and I seperated when she was three months old.
Just wanted to say, hang in there. You will have some really special moments as well as hard times.
I think its funny, I managed to get through the baby stage ok - and dd never slept so it was pretty hard going, but then when she started to get a bit older, and a. I had more time to think, and b. she wanted me more emotionally, then it was really hard going for a while.
There's a good book called the science of parenting (you can prob get it at the library) and there is a chapter on looking after yourself. One of the the things that stood out for me is the need for emotional refueling. Actually I am just flicking through it now - dd had it out to look at the piccies, there is a lot of good things in there. She talks about the effect being alone all the time has on your brain chemicals.
Things I found helpful anyway,
- there is a creche at the pool here, where you can book your kids in while you go for a swim or get a cuppa at the cafe. Its nice for a break.
- talking to a counsellor
- spirullina
- socialising (even on here I found it good). You might like playgroups etc. I actually found them more isolating because I didn't have much in common with the other mums, but it was still good to get out of the house. Are there any free kids things on at the library near you? Do you have any old friends you could give a call? Do you have any interests (like painting or dancing) could you join a club?
- sit your ds infront of playschool every morning and sit outside for a cuppa or meditate, or whatever does it for you. Make it easy for yourself for a while. Don't worry about being a perfect mum, just do your best for now.
Also, give yourself a time.. Its a big life change. Going to take some time to come to terms with it.
Hope you have a great day tomorrow
xx