in despair

[Feijoa Mum]

There are alot of things in your situation that make me go "oh no" but none more so than you agreeing to giving up your want and need to have more children.

Do not do it. Even if everything else gets resolved and becomes better that is one thing that will always play on you and you will eventually resent him for it.

You do sound like a strong person, you are just easily swayed by someone you do love and he knows what buttons to push to make you feel that way.

Take a step back to 7 months ago and remember those feelings that made you think I cant do this anymore and hold onto them. When you feel yourself getting sucked in, read and re-read this thread.
You are a strong person dont let him think your not!

[littlelara]

Oh widdly, I so feel for you.
I know exactly how easy it can be to be manipulated into second guessing yourself when all you want is to believe the best of someone.
You need to trust your instincts.
If I could count the number of times I heard "I was going to... If you'd just waited a bit longer... If you hadn't (whatever) then I would have..." blah blah blah...
We wasted 4 years when we both could have been happy elsewhere.
And now, as luck would have it, I am happy where I am, and he's still basically the same only now he's someone else's problem.
I'm just saying you have to keep faith in yourself and what your gut tells you.
This is not working and it's not healthy.
Hugs to you, you're in my thoughts.

[Lulu]

If you were going to give up having another child hun, it would want to be for someone really freakin awesome.

xoxoxoxo

[~Kim~]

If you were going to give up having another child hun, it would want to be for someone really freakin awesome.

xoxoxoxo

Exactly!!!

[thepixie]

If I could count the number of times I heard "I was going to... If you'd just waited a bit longer... If you hadn't (whatever) then I would have..." blah blah blah...

yeah BTDT also heard the "I'll change and then you'll be sorry"... sorry Elissa but it really sounds like he is manipulating you. You've done the hard part and moved out, but maybe you haven't quite moved out emotionally. I think you need a break. Some partners and some relationships are just crazy-making and it takes some breathing room to see it for what it is, and how much healthier you are without them.

[widdly]

oh man, I just did a huge post, replying to each of your posts individually, then my internet dropped out!!!!

I cannot thank you guys enough for all the help you are giving me, you are all filling me with the strength and confidence i need to do what needs to be done.

kim - you really reminded me how slack he is being, of course its too easy to shift swap!!

thanks again everyone x