Father Paying/Contributing Expenses During Pregnancy, and Legal Rights.

[briggsy's girl]

kailz, i can't omment on the legalities of making the father pay for things before a child is born - in all honesty, i've never heard of i and don't know how it would work. it sounds like something that would be EXTREMELY difficult to do legally as you can't prove paternity before a child is born (well, not without invasive testing that can be harmful to your baby) - but having said that, i really don't know for sure... i would think that legal aid would be the ones to have the most accurate answers.

as for after the birth, whether you want to follow up on financial support from the babies father or not, the government will, in most cases, tell you that you have no choice. family assistance payments for seperated parents are restricted dramatically if you don't at least attempt to claim child support for your child. now, if he's being an idiot about admitting paternity (hold onto the AVO application as this can be used against him), you don't have to get his name put on the birth certificate. you can approach legal aid and they will help in the legal hoopla in proving paternity (hence the AVO thing - he's put on there about you carrying his child so it can be used as evidence). if you choose not to pursue it, your maximum Family Assistance (pt a) entitlement is cut from a bit over $140 a fortnight to less than $47 - and you'll lose any rent assistance...

pm me if you want any more info - and i'll answer your questions directly if i can. i would suggest calling the Family Relationships Advice Line, Legal Aid and Family Assistance and get your head as clear as you can about where you're going once your bubba arrives... discuss the implications of going through the child support agency and him deciding not to pay, how it impacts you etc. there is a lot of information to get your head around to make sure you've got time - and don't let the people hang up til you're sure you have your answers!


as for the grandmother - personally, i would make contact BEFORE bubs arrives. write her a letter so that it''s non-confrontational. say that you understand that she may have reservations about having any sort of friendship/relationship with you due to the breaakdown in your relationship with her son, but for the sake of her relationship with her grandaughter, you're making an effort before her arrival. you don't want to deny her access to her grandchild - and you don't want the breakdown between you and XP to impact your daughter's chances of knowing her grandparents. there are two huge reasons for this - reason one being that your child really does deserve to have her grandparents in her life - reason two - grandparents have legal rights to access to their grandchildren. if they're denied access, they can take you to mediation, court - it can get messy - and that's the last thing you want if you can make an amicable relationship with her before bub's arrives. keep a record of all correspondence as a back up for yourself, just in case things DO turn nasty - that way you've got a way to show that you tried to make an effort

and most of all - remember that you need to take care of YOU. yeah, getting his help will help financially, but he sounds about as mature as any tanty-throwing five year old, so really, you're doing this solo, and you need to do what is best for you and that little bubble growing in your belly

good luck

BG

[Amity]

*snap* BG LOL!

[Trillian]

Div, in NSW its definately opt in for the birth certificate.

[Yael]

My DH works for the CSA. When he gets back inside (from hanging out the washing ) i'll get him to post in here, in regards to birth certificates and child support

[Lulu]

Ok, my sister just went through all this so I'll give you the short version -

IF he is still being a twat after bubs is born, and you have made it clear you expect him to sign it, you send in the birth cert signed by yourself.
They will contact you soon after asking why it is not signed.
You give him his details (name, address), they will take it from there and you don't have to worry about chasing him.

SO you call the child support agency (the details should be on any Clink forms you will get), and let them know his details and that you would like them to collect on your behalf.

THEN you give all bubs details to Clink (for your FTB and Baby Bonus), you let them know you have taken action to obtain child support, they will liase with CSA and you don't have to worry.

AND you still retain full FTB entitlement, and the CSA will stick the child support in your account - no fuss, no muss.

good luck with it all, sorry he is being such a tool.

[Kailz]

Thanks for all the responses... I feel as if I'm banging my head against a brick wall

Sometimes it's nice to just let it all out!

Yael - That would be very kind of your DH! Thank you xx

BG - Thanks for taking the time out to help me

LuLu, Divvy, Ash & Others - Big Thanks too

[sushee]

Wanted to reiterate what Lulu said: tell CSA you wish to claim child support through them. They then keep track of what they collect from him on your behalf, and if he tries to shirk his responsibilities, they will garnish his wages. It doesn't matter what sort of relationship (or lack thereof) you two have - he has to pay. If he does not pay, CSA will do all the legal stuff on your behalf, and the FAO/Centrelink gets informed that he's not paying. He can't escape really.

[Yael]

Ok, so this is what my husband has to say (disclaimer: this is not official advise, but it is freely avaliable from "the guide" on the child support website - or you can call CSA and ask them about "presumption" ph. 131272).

Ok, basically if he wont sign the birth ceritificate there is possibly another way that you can can provide proof of parentage. Basically the CSA can "presume" that the father in the parent of the baby under certain circumstances (i.e. baby was concieved during a marriage etc). However, where the 2 parents weren't married section 2.2.4 of the guide states:

the person is a man who cohabited with the child's mother at any time during the period beginning 44 weeks and ending 20 weeks before the child was born, but they were not married at any time during that period. Cohabitation involves living together in a domestic relationship. CSA can consider the financial and social aspects of the relationship, the nature of the household and the sexual relationship between the 2 people, in deciding whether they cohabited.

So in english this means if you lived together from either 20 - 44 weeks before the baby was born then they can presume he was the father... How they will require proof of this - it is best to contact the agency yourself and give a more detailed description of your circumstances.

Otherwise in reference to what Divvy said, I think that she may be referring to a section 106a order (under the child support assessment act 1989 not the family law act - unless she is talking about something different ??). Anyway, a section 106a order is a declaration form the court stating that the man is the father of the child. You need to petition the court (not CSA on your behalf), and most likely they will require DNA testing.

Declaration that a carer parent (s106A) or a liable parent (s106B) is entitled to a child support assessment

If CSA refuses a carer parent or liable parent's application for a child support assessment, and one of the reasons was that CSA could not be satisfied that the person named was a parent of the child, they can apply to a court for a declaration that they are entitled to an assessment of child support. The person that the payee named as the payer is the respondent to the payee's court application and the person that the payer named as the payee is the respondent to the payer's court application. CSA is not a party to the court application unless it decides to intervene in the proceedings.

In regards to whether you should persue a legal path, it is only something that you can decide but you should legal advice. Remember there are implications and BG mentioned above for your support from centrelink if you do not persue a child support case.

ETA: If you can't get a case started the CSA can't do anything (garnish his wages etc). And CSA will not act on your behalf to get him legally named as the father (see section 4.3.2 of the guide).

Once you have a case registered then you have options on how to collect (in your case if you do not have an amicible relationship then the CSA can collect on your behalf. There are enforcement powers they have if he does not pay, but just a warning, these are not foolproof and people can avoid child support if they try hard enough).

By the way, forgot to mention, the guide is CSA legal guide ti the relevant legislation, basically, it makes the reading of the legislation a bit more palitable. If you don't understand it, call CSA and they will explain it all to you.