I don't know if this will help or not, but I hope it does! Coming from the queer community I've learned that really, biology does not family make. You pick and choose your own family. I think in straight relationships there is this enormous pressure that the bio-mum and bio-dad are the be all and end all for the child and the kid will grow with two heads or something if it's not all ideal. And maybe without much exposure except to happy two parent families, it can be horrible when it goes wrong for you.

But kids grow up fine in all circumstances with love and stability and protection. The rest is optional. I mean, yes, it's sad if people walk away from their children but it's how we react to that that can have a bigger impact and it's a waste of energy to focus on the "why" with people and their reasons for disappearing.

My story is also very odd - lesbian for ten years, experimented with men in my 30's and ooops, 9 months later I have a child after a fling. He wants nothing to do with the kid. I was angry/sad for a while then realised I can make my own support network. After all I know kids with two mums, one mum, two dads, two dads and two mums, two mums a bio-gay-donor-dad, then a second dad when the girl started seeing men! All sorts of combos and the kids are fine (and research backs it up too)

In my case, my gay best friend stepped up and is the "Gunkle" (Gay Uncle) to my boy and was at all the birth classes, the birth, cut the cord, buys clothes, toys, cooks cleans and loves the hell out of my kid. So I will have to explain to my son that while his father and I didn't work out, it should be obvious how loved and wanted he is looking at the people I've "created" our family with!

I guess what I'm trying to say it as hurtful as it is when people walk away from their bio-kids, too much energy is wasted agonising over it all when that energy could be put into making new support networks, however you find them.