So surprise surprise, everything has spectacularly fallen apart with DP (how predictable), and I'm going to have a toddler and a newborn alone. I have no idea how to cope with this fact, this is just about the last thing I could ever want for myself and my life. I don't even think I have the ability to do this let alone the motivation to. I am totally, completely stuck in this situation and there's nothing to do but suffer. Is there anyone out there who's done this without contemplating suicide?
i've done it hun. I had a 3 month old and a 17 month old on my own. It was hard but it gets easier. Ashtons father walked out when I was a few months pregnant and I had to do it alone until Ash was 4 months old. He has just started taking him overnight so it's gotten easier too and I get some me time.
Oh Neen, I am sorry that you are going through this
I can even understand why you don't want to go on with everything you have been going through....
But the reality is that you have a beautiful little girl and another on the way and these are the things you need to be focusing on, to keep you putting one foot in front of the other. As Lulu said is there a mother and baby unit you can stay at? or a refuge? can DOCS equivalent offer any assitance? see the local salvo army people and ask them all if they know of any other organisation who might be able to help you.
Darl, this is some pretty heavy stuff you're dealing with so don't feel silly for feeling scared. Anyone would be feeling ovewhelmed, confused and daunted in your situation.
I do agree with Divvy - if the police won't drop the charges, it must be pretty serious. Please take care of yourself, NOT him and perhaps firstly, get some counselling for yourself. I know it won't happen straight away, but one day you will realise that you deserve much better than that.
Secondly, there's been some great advice on here about support networks. I know it's hard to motivate yourself when you're feeling down - is there anyone who could make some phone calls for you. Perhaps as a first step, call Lifeline and see what they have to say.
hey hun im so sorry you r going through this, have u got family support nearby? parents, friends i know its hard to ask for help wel but will make all the difference hun i kno it was for me but without there support n help i wouldnt of been able to do it my situation even mine was abit different as my xp left me b4 bub was born. i really feel for you hun having too little ones im so sorry to hear this is happening to u my thoughts n prayers r with u x
i know u can stay strong i no it doesnt seem like it but it will get easier i promise hang in there hun xx
I wish I had support from friends, but I don't. The only friend I have right now is an ex boyfriend who wants to sleep with me, w00h00. Everyone my age is drinking and partying, and older parents aren't interested (you should've seen the way we were completely ignored at birthing class when we said how old we were; dp 20 and me 18 at the time). That might be half the problem, I feel so alone. Unfortunately all of the friends I was close to had such problems in their own life that I couldn't be around them, as it was dangerous and damaging to me and DD.
edit: I'm in Perth. I think we posted at the same time.
Neenee - YOU CAN DO THIS!!! You are a strong independent woman that is capable of doing anything she sets her heart/mind to! You have us all here when ever you need us! chin up girl you'll get through it stronger than when you began!
I know it's not the point anymore but even if I somehow CAN do this, I don't WANT to. Like I honestly can't see anything other than suffering and misery for the next god knows how many years. I'm by myself in this ****hole flat with hardly any money, sleep deprived and alone and unhappy. Life shouldn't be like that. I just want to run away but it's kind of impossible to run away from something that's growing inside you.
I havent done it yet but my DS is 14months old and Im 17 weeks pregnant with triplets and I dont have a partner. Im just going to take it a day at a time and remember that Im doing the best I can. I think if youre providing a loving stable home your kids will love you for it even through the tough times. Itll be hard but its worth it in the end
If you ever want someone to talk to Im here *hugs*
Thanks, ladies. I do have support from my mother, who keeps saying how she'll help me. She does with DD but didn't much when she was a baby so I'm not so sure. Well she would probably say she did help a lot but I mostly remember feeling exhausted and abandoned (by everyone especially DP), so I don't see how I'll manage going through that again (it nearly drove me insane the first time) with a toddler. How can it be done? And isn't it horribly lonely? I can't imagine giving birth and holding my newborn alone without DP, it seems totally wrong. Now I'm crying at the net cafe lmao.
You CAN do this!! But ATM I am worried about you Where are you living, who is nearby and what support can we get sorted before the baby arrives?? You have done a wonderful job with DD - even when you were going solo for a bit.
There are resources out there - you just need help to access them. If you really feel like the ground is fast approaching and the only out is suicide (but I am hoping that is just venting to get it off your chest!!) then please contact Lifeline or the nearest hospital / GP for some support
You are the most important person in the life of your little one and the unborn one. You are important. You are strong. You can do this
I'm sure that you will be happier in time - as you won't be worrying about relationship problems with your ex which could really drag you down - in time which should be happy.
Your baby and toddler will also be well aware of how you're feeling too, they can pick up stress and it can affect them too. They need you hun. I'm sure they'd rather a happy single mummy than a stressed out mummy in a relationship that isn't working...
You have to be strong hun, and take the help from your mum - and don't be afraid to ask for help either. Have a look at what resources there are out there. I am sure you can even find strength in a mothers group...even if its once a week...Not to mention us at BB!!!!
i just wanted to give you hugs and say you are not alone....me and dh have just broken up for the hundreth time but this time hes not staying here anymore and i am expecting #4 so i know how you feel,just take one day at a time and just do the best you can
I can't do this alone
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