Maybe you could ask if he could contribute in some way to your travelling expenses - like pay for the ticket and you will cover everything else (rather than you paying for the ticket and hmi covering everything else and then possibly letting you down)
They are all really keen to meet her, but living in the UK is expensive and none of them really have 2 spare cents (or pence) to rub together, so him coming here or giving me some financial help with the trip aren't really an option unfortunately.
I'm just not sure how tough its going to be living alone with my DD and purely being supported by Centrelink until I can eventually get back to work (maybe first 2 years at home). I'm not sure whether I will look back in a year's time and think to myself 'you should have used that money more wisely'. Or maybe I will be perfectly able to live comfortably if I budget well.
It's just so hard to know without ever having been in that position.
I think its a very beautiful totally unselfish thing your thinking of doing hun, but i think you need to think realistically whether this money would be better off getting you guys set up with moving out etc, I agree with both muppity and lulu if you can work out him helping out with the travelling expenses or maby he could come here to meet her than maby it might work out. you'll have enough on your plate as it is without having to travel with a young baby and the expenses on top of that xx
you are so strong hun, i know it must be so hard right now, i remember being in your place maby alittle different situations but i know the strength it takes and i know you have it inside
The thing is that moving out isn't just adding rent to the equation -- you will need things to set up a place for you and your little one; bed, fridge, plates, cutlery, towels... the list goes on! Do you have all of this? Do you have a plan to acquire all of this? That is something to consider
It is tough work doing it alone but not impossible. Keep your chin up!
I just want to collapse in a flood of tears right now. I really feel there is no solution for me and it's killing me. How can I give my DD all she deserves in life when I have no money and her father is 10,000 miles away.
The strength I have found to get through this last 34 weeks is fading as the stress of feeling trapped and powerless takes over.
In a perfect world it would be wonderful to hop on a plane, take baby over and do the introductions. But, as others have said, you really need to prioritise what you are going to be doing with the cash that you have.
This may sound horrible - but if they / he wants to see baby, they can help you do it. The responsibility does not lie solely on YOU to provide, care, and nourish baby AND find the fundage for her father's family to meet her.
Use the money in your best interests (fridge, bond, gas/electricity bond etc) - when the time comes that they really want to meet her I am sure they will help you. Do not let that fall on yourself, especially not the first time, as it will always be expected.
Be kind to yourself. Try to focus on the amazing ride you are just about to begin, a life with your new baby! Not worrying about money and plane trips.
I think what it really comes down to is that I am scared that her life will feel incomplete if she doesn't know her Dad. It's not so much about me going so they can meet her, but more to try and bridge that geographical gap so that when it's fathers day and shes at school and the kids are making cards for their dads, shes not the little girl left feeling sad and confused about why she doesn't know her dad.
It's not that i'm trying to force this relationship between them, I just figure that if he's keen to be involved and it will make her feel more whole, maybe i'm a bad mum if I don't provide that opportunity for her. God knows if i leave it up to XP, whether his intentions are good or not, they wont meet any time soon.
It's definitely not him or his family i'd be making the trip for, it's my girl, and it would break my heart if she felt any pain, loss or abandonment at not having her Dad in her life.
BellyBelly Life Subscriber
I think its a very beautiful totally unselfish thing your thinking of doing hun, but i think you need to think realistically whether this money would be better off getting you guys set up with moving out etc, I agree with both muppity and lulu if you can work out him helping out with the travelling expenses or maby he could come here to meet her than maby it might work out. you'll have enough on your plate as it is without having to travel with a young baby and the expenses on top of that xx
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