newly single and 3 months pregnant

[mollyb]

hi again miss tree
thankyou for your reply. i am sorry to hear that things are so difficult with your ex. you seem like a really strong person. My babys father has just turned 25 but is still a teenager at heart. im in sydney and have a really strong support network, my family are really supportive and i have wonderful friends, but it is still very daunting the prospect of doing this alone and without the person who means the most to me.

[samm]

Hi Molly,

i know how you feel as will most here at BB and this forum and site has provided me with some advice and support. as a single mum and now 26 weeks pregnant.

i too was left by someone who i am in love with when i found out i was 8 weeks pregnant. Although being nice about it he didnt want to be a dad, he is a guy who at 42 is still sowing his oats and having fun with life with no committments. He is in NZ 2 weeks a month .

My advice, and this is what got me though some of the intial pain,lonlienss and anxiety about being pregnant , is to acknowledge the type of guy your BF is and instead of worrying about him, use your support network to give you strength and support and do things that are right for you and your bub. i found i spent more time worrying about him and his feelings rather than my own which sapped a lot of my energy and increased my stress levels. You cant force someone to do somehting they either arent ready for or dont want to be involved.

I found that once i opened up here and to some friends and support people i wasnt on my own, even though still i miss my relationship with my babys dad as we were extremely good friends on top of our relationship.

Right now i am enjoying my pregnancy and the planning around the impending birth of my little girl, from there i'll take one day at a time and work out whats right for me and my bub. to be honest its taken me around 4 months to get to that point and its not easy but you will see that you are a strong woman and it's amazing what we can actually do when the going gets tough.

Keep smiling and know you are not alone

[mollyb]

hi samm
thanks for your reply
you seem as though you are coping really well even though you are still in love with your ex. How did you get through these heartbreaking days?. i sometimes feel like i cant breathe. and at the moment i have no interest in my pregnancy. I dont want to be without him ever, especially at this time. How do you feel about your ex now? do you think there is any chance of a reconcilliation? I am hoping im my situation that we will be together again but i know also that it is naive of me to hold onto this as a definate. I am hurting so bad right now, i wish i could just fast forward all this hurt to a day when i am stronger

[samm]

Hi HOlly,

i hope you're ok. Nope - my ex and i have separate lives and dont really speak now because of me being pregnant. i'll let him know when this little bubba girl arrives and he can choose from there but as for a relationship - no. i will always have a special feeling for the ex and will never bear him any grief - i've seen how these situations have turned out when there is grief: its not good for the mum or dad and defintely not for bubs. So that is why i decided enough was enough and look after me instead of worrying what may be or the ex. The fact you're on here and getting it out is a good start - its a little easier to pour things out here than in the real world. Remember that the pregnancy hormones are well and truly kicking in by now and everything may be worse or more daunting than it really is. MY hormones went on a real rampage and the boys at work wondered where the dragon lady came from

I hope that it does work out for you but lay your cards out on the table with him and let him make a choice and always do whats best for you.

i still have moments when i miss him but now i cant wait for bubs to arrive and start a new chapter of life - scary but exciting. Families come in all shapes and guises - whilst we would all love to have the 'traditonal' family being different isnt that bad.