Newly Single Mummy and ready to crrack

[Beatrix]

edited sorry

[~clover~]

Hi. Have you tried a mothers group?? I know what it's like to have no friends close by. We moved an hour & a half away from friends, family & babysitters back in January.
I have my sister in law with her little girl, but the little one was over in NZ with her family for 3 months, so I was feeling really alone. Her & my brother were working same hours as DH - 5.30am til sometimes 7.30 - 8pm.
I had no adult conversation for sometimes weeks at a time except for DH. Better than nothing I guess. I kept getting told by my gp & ECHN to get to playgroup, but sat around depressed instead.
My neice came home about a month ago & SIL isn't working any more, so we see eachother nearly every day. The girls are starting pre-school together on Thursday & while we still haven't made it to play group we are still planning on going.
I'm feeling heaps better. Hopefully it'll help you. There would be a few people there that have been in your situation. Get in touch with your Early Chilldhood Health Nurse - I know you haven't been seeing one & she'll let you know when & where they are. Your gp should be able to give you the ECHN number. I think the council can too. & might be in the phone book as well, but I'm nopt sure where.
ECHN are a god send. get in touch with one soon.

[Beatrix]

edited sorry

[~clover~]

I know. It's really hard, but you gotta think of you too. Don't worry, I'm telling you this, but won't do it myself!
MJ is only little & things are hard at this time anyway without 2 extra kids to deal with on your own.
I'm forgetting alot too. I just walked away from the sink with the hot tap runnung slowly - was gonna wash up - to go to the toilet. Finished on the toilet & heard DS crying, so I walked back past the sink picked him up & started feeding him. It wasn't til I heard water on the floor I remembered the tap was on!
Then there's doctors appointments & crap. If it's for the kids it gets done straight away, but for me....Sometimes I get there.

Just be careful of PND. Hopefully you'll be fine, but i've been through it & it's not fun.

[Beatrix]

edited sorry

[maz]

Bl00dy hell - Nessa!

You get onto that lazy @r$ed ex of yours and make him take atleast the eldest 2 over night.
Even if he's not living with you babe

THEY ARE STILL HIS RESPONSIBILITY TOO

If he cant take them, ring his mother and get onto her.

YOU NEED A BREAK

you havent even had time yet to mourn the loss of your relationship.

Thinking of you

[~clover~]

I was gonna say the same as Maz. Get the ex to take them for a night. Or go spend a night at a mates house with the kids. Preferably someone with kids, who you can talk to. That way your older ones will hopefully go off & play to give you a bit of time.
I don't really know what else to say, just hang in there. Remember that we are all here for you. It will get easier. It might take a while, but it will.
I hope you feel better soon.

[pegasus]

I'm so sorry. I'm a single mum. I left my partner after a 2 year relationship. He had been hiding how he truly felt for such a long time. He never loved me. I wasn't going to spend the rest of my life with someone who doesn't love me.

I can't imagine how you feel. We are all here for you.

[Kitt3n]

Hun, if you havent cried for him yet i doubt he is worth crying over at all

when i left my ex dd was staying in his bed, so i didnt have the bed worries that you have, but he moved into a share house! which scared me no end.

eventually things will settle and you will feel "smoothed" out. It might take a month, it might take a year - but i am sure YOU AND THE GIRLS will be much better off in the long run.

Keep your strength up girl, but dont forget to let it all out if you need to.

there is light and happiness at the end of the tunnel, trust me xoxox

[Stars69]

oh gosh I am so sorry to read of your situation.

I would love to be able to help you. I don't honestly know how your coping with three children, running the house and coping with the breakup of your marriage.

Is there anything I could do to help?

[Naomi08]

He has informed me he has gone and taken out a 5k loan to pay all his bills so as soon as that come through he will give me the money to pay half the credit cards and the bills that are in and when the gas and elec come in he will pay half of them too.

But still i worked out what he needed to pay including his recent court fine( haha dont have to pay for that anymore) he only has aroun 2300 in bills so god knows what he is going to do with the rest of the money.

I am thinking on contacting legal advice as in to what i can expect from him to have for the girls when they are there. I dont think its to much to ask that they have a bed to sleep on

Maz- your right i havent even really cried over this relationship, havent had time.

Beatrix,

[Naomi08]

He has informed me he has gone and taken out a 5k loan to pay all his bills so as soon as that come through he will give me the money to pay half the credit cards and the bills that are in and when the gas and elec come in he will pay half of them too.

But still i worked out what he needed to pay including his recent court fine( haha dont have to pay for that anymore) he only has aroun 2300 in bills so god knows what he is going to do with the rest of the money.

I am thinking on contacting legal advice as in to what i can expect from him to have for the girls when they are there. I dont think its to much to ask that they have a bed to sleep on

Maz- your right i havent even really cried over this relationship, havent had time.

Beatrix,

I suggest that you get legal advice immediately!

Have you completed a financial settlement yet? If you have not and he takes out a loan, you could find out later that legally you are also responsible for any debt that is incurred until you are "recognised as financially seperated".

Scary I know!!

Legal aide gives free legal advice over the phone, and they should be able to point you in the right direction, including in the right direction regarding his obligations in relation to "suitable" accommodation for the children when they visit.

Good luck. I have been there and it has taken 4 years to get myself back on top of things, but you can do it and you will be stronger and wiser for the experience.