WOW!!!

I have had such an emotional couple of weeks, finally coming to terms with XH not loving me any more and the fact that I have to move on with my life. Sunday night 2 of my sisters asked me out to the pub for drinks, I turned them down as I had DS to take care of. Later on Sunday my Dad encouraged me to let my hair down for once and have fun, so I found a sitter and joined my sisters at the pub.

I had THE best night, so much fun, and for once I was so full of life and fun, I havent seen that old me since before I got together with XH. I am normally a VERY shy person, and have had very low self esteem lately, so when a guy came up to me and started flirting his ass off, it was the last thing I expected! So I said to myself to hell with it, Im gonna flirt back and have a little fun...

Let me just say that I have only ever had sex with the one guy, myXH, so i never ever thought Id ever just pick some guy up at the pub and sleep with him...but thats what happened I knew this guy was a sweety, and I knew him to say hello to, and I also had heard he was very attentive in the sack....so I went for it. And let me say, he cetainly lived up to his reputation! He was so gorgeous, made me feel so confident in my own skin and was very keen to make it a regular occurence, and so was I

That next day XH came to pick DS up, I thought it was the nie thing to tell him about the guy before he found out second hand (he knows the guy and is friends with people who know the guy), well I told XH that i had slept with someone and XH bawled NOT the reaction I was anticipating. XH went on to tell me that he has never stopped loving me, he was just pushing me away so that he didnt get hurt? He claims he wants me back forever blah blah blah. So I have spent the last 2 days with XH, and I have been feeling awesome that my marriage has ben salvaged....til now. XH just went to bed and I have had the first bit of alone time since the one nighter.

I have gone from feeling like a sexy confident happy go lucky woman to a desperate housewife....I just really want to go and jump back into bed with the Sunday night guy and feel awesome again. But on the other hand, the sunday night guy is nothing serious, just a bit of fun. God, do I actually want my marriage or not??? I keep thinking that if I stay with XH I will one day cheat on him cause I loved it so much.... AAARRRRGGGHHHH I just get over XH and now this! It is just SO tempting to run back into sinday night guys bed again