I have not been through this kind of situation before but I wanted to give you a and have to say it sounds like you are raising your kids on your own anyway!!!!

Seeing as your partner isn't working financially you might possibly be better off on your own and in every other way it sound like you will have the same workload and without the stress of your dh.

It sounds as though you dh really needs a kick up the bum and get his act together. It seems like he is shirking all responsibilty to you and his children.

I think it would be good if you went through and did some marrieage counselling and see if you can come to a new place in your marriage where thingsd begin to change. You dh needs to get a job from the sounds of it and grow up and be a decent husband, provider and father. I think you should talk to him tell him how you are feeling and ask him to come to counselling. If he refuses it important to realies you can't force anyone into any action or to be the kind of person you want them to be, you can only control yourself. So I would recommend you do some counselling by yourself, whether that is as well as counselling as a couple or instead of.

Imagine you were single, forget about your partner and then write a list of the fundamental things you want in a partner, then make that your bar and if you partner simply refuses to meet that bar I don't think the right thing to do is just lower that bar, like so many women do. Perhaps at that point in nothing will change it is time to consider seperation.

Goodluck sorting this out I can only imagine how difficult it must be, but it is doable xo