pregnant with 3rd baby & marriage falling apart

[mselicia]

Thanks everyone for all the support & advise. I dont think couseling will help as he is very stubborn I think I will just very calmly state my case to him & let him know that enough is enough & that if he can't make changes for this family like I have had to then there is no point in him being here & making my life more stressful than it needs to be. Thanks again everyone.

[Mellybubz]

I think knowing what men are like you're right and it would be difficult ot drag him to relatioship counselling but I think being a mum and especially when you're feeling like a single mum with 2.5 kids plus the big one to look after maybe it might just help for you to have someone to talk things through with, to feel like you have some form of back up there and that you're not alone in this.
It's really hard to be a mum in this sort of situation I think because we really do have the world on our shoulders and so much to worry about and its really hard when you dont have your partner up there with you supporting you and helping you through it all.

[MeganH]

Firstly, you can raise 3 kids on your own. I have just recently separated from my husband, we have 3 children aged 4, 3 and 7 months. I was scared too, but by the sounds of it you are doing most of it yourself now anyway. You will find that its actually easier on your own.

My husband refused to go to counselling as he didnt believe he had a problem, it was all my problem.

Finally I decided enough was enough and I told him to leave, surprisingly he did so I didnt have to pack the kids up which made it a little easier.

I have found (other than him trying to upset me and make things difficult now and again) that life is soooooo much easier being apart from him, I feel happier, calmer, the kids are better behaved (most of the time), routine is easier, the house is tidier, I have MORE money, and just feel like a weight is lifted.

Maybe I should be encouraging you to try and work it out or try and think of ideas to make him realise what he might lose but to be honest Ive been through it all and nothing worked for me. I spent 10 years of my life with my husband and most of it was horrible. I dont regret it because I have 3 amazing children but geez it has been hard. I am finally at a point in my life where I have wonderful supportive friends, a comfortable family home (which hopefully I can keep) my three beautiful children, I feel happy about my life, where I am and where I am heading and the only thing dragging me down was him. We separated about 6 weeks ago now and they have been the best 6 weeks ever.

Sorry I dont have the answer to his problems but if you cant work them out just know there are lots of women who have raised 3 or more children on their own, you can do it, its not always going to be easy but you deserve to be happy.

[*Beema*]

You are doing a pretty amazing job on your own at the moment. I am so sorry that you are having to do it all by yourself it must be very difficult at times.

Your DH is having problems sleeping at night because he is sleeping all day, he needs a wake up call! That is udnerstandable if he did night shift, but with not working at all, I would be making some pretty loud noises in the morning so that he can't sleep durng the day.

If you don't think he will go for counselling then perhaps have a chat and give him an ultimatum, he needs to reconsider his prioroties and if the priorities are everything else before his family, which is what it is at the moment, then give him the opportunity to change, but if he "can't be bothered", then I would definitely reconsider the relationship.

You would be able to do it by yourself, if would probably reduced the stress for you a bit as you are not "seeing him" do very little all the time, you can focus on you and your children.

Put you and your children first, do you have people who can support you, help you out if you need it? Take care and I hope that you can work out the best solution for youa nd your children xxoo