I'm totally happy for my ex to have 50/50 access, if the shoe was on the other foot I wouldn't want to see my child any less either. I've always been the primary carer, but I had to leave the house as he refused. So to not 'rock the boat' the options are that the children stay with him (the non primary carer) for most of the time in the family home and see me (the primary carer) 4 nights out of a fortnight but that would probably be just as unsettling for them too. Or the arrangement we have, which obviously I'm going to prefer because I get to see them more. The eldest goes to kindy 2.5 days a week but other than that both are home full time.

Sadly a lot of separated parents do put their own wants and needs before the children, but I can understand why. It's gutwrenching to have to go days without seeing them! I really don't feel like changing the arrangement is going to be the answer. I think I'm afraid of it going back to not being amicable, as to begin with he got quite nasty and has only just calmed down.