First of all take a deep breath. Allow your self the time to deal with everything that is going on.

For me - I wouldn't go back out of security and comfort - you should try to learn to feel those things by yourself. Nothing's going to change unless you change it (which you have)

Can I say on the affair - ask yourself what you are getting out of it - is this something that you can get out of another relationship - sometimes the thrill of the chase just isn't worth the heart ache that is coming. Xox