Single Parents General Chatter - Dec 2007-Jan 2008

[Amity]

I just thought I'd start a general chatter thread so that we can all have some sort of idea of what's going on and who we all are, apart from our introductions threads.

I'm trying to sort out Christmas time with my XH, he's going away from Boxing Day for ten days, and also doesn't want to go to his parents' for Christmas, which means I'm going to have to take the kids to the outlaws for Christmas dinner. Fun and games!

I'm also a bit peeved, because I said we'd swap weekends over when he was away, and to get back on track he gets four out of the next five weekends, which peeves me. I know I get ten days in a row in the middle of it, but I still like my weekend time!

I'm also dating, well telephone dating, the new man... will have to keep you updated on that over the next few months!

Anyway, what's going on in your lives?

[Melly01]

That all sounds a bit stressful about XH's christmas arrangements & custody stuff. I can understand why you'd be a bit peeved. Not that I have had to go through that yet, but I know the day will come.

Oh, good to hear about the phone dating, I hope it all goes well for you. How exciting

Well, things here have been a little crazy lately. I finally finished my first year of uni a month ago, but the day after my last exam, had arranged to take Logan to go see ex & his family in the central west of NSW. The trip didn't go too well & involved him getting drunk one night & following me around the house saying horrible things about me, among other things. There was more harassment, threats & emotional abuse the other weekend too, but that was through msn & I have blocked him on that. I am tempted to get an ADVO, to kind of put him in his place & I'm sick of having to check who is calling before I answer the phone. I don't want to change my mobile number & I had it turned off all of today. Had to get Mum to call ex so that he could wish Logan a happy birthday. I feel like doing this kind of makes it seem like he's "won" and I want to show him I'm not a doormat. But Mum says I am overreacting so I don't know what to do.

On to good newsI have been dating someone for 2 months, but we'd been "seeing" each other on and off for about 8 months before that. It is kind of funny because it turns out we've both had "crushes" on each other for about 9 years, but neither of us knew until a year ago. Apparently everyone else in our group of friends knew. A friend of ours got married in August, another friend said at the end of the night "You know whose wedding we will be at in 10 years time? Mel & Damien's when they finally get their act together!", so that was a bit of an eye opener I guess lol.

Logan's birthday went well today. He had cake at daycare. Then at our mothers group christmas party everyone sang happy birthday and i got to watch him blow out the candles. I even managed to put his tricycle together this afternoon and we played with that for a while. He really seems to like it even though he can't pedal yet, but hel ets me to push him around the front yard. Mum got him a pretend vacuum cleaner so he spent a while wandering around the house cleaning. Then he put himself to bed tonight which was so cute.

Sorry I've rambled on LOL

[Early Kids]

Good Idea! I'd love just one thread to keep in touch! Soooo much easier! I'm sorry to hear about both of your ex's.... Especially yours Mel, I'd be getting that ADVO. You don't have to put up with that!

I have finally sorted out all the CSA and centrelink crap... lol. ExP and I are now on speaking terms and I am hoping that we can be friends.... for Brendans sake. I am not even considering dating just yet, but it's great that you girls have moved on! I finally got our chrissy tree up.... too bad it's only little. We are spending chrissy at my Auntys, so i'll get pics of brendan in front of the tree there

Brendan is spending his first chrissy with me and boxing day with his father. I hate this shared care crap and i've only been doin it for a month I'm really uneasy about leaving Brendan there, the last time i was there with him ExPs mum gave B a catalogue to play with which he ripped into small pieces and they let him put put it in his mouth when i checked on B he had no expression and i felt like something was wrong, so i ran over and he wasn't breathing well, he'd tried to eat the catalogue, i pulled out a palm full of paper from the back of his throat How can I leave B with his family if I can't even trust ExPs mum????

Anyway sorry to vent... take care ladies

[Melly01]

Brendansmum, I'm so sorry to hear about your ExP's mum and her complete lack of common sense when it comes to looking after B. That must be so frustrating, I know I wouldn't want my Ex's parents looking after Logan if they were like that. I can understand about hating the shared thing, although it hasn't happened here yet, I'm dreading when it does.

I'm feeling quite selfish and feel like if I'm the one doing everything and he has only recently started paying CS (I whole $27 a month which I had to apply for and he got so mad at me for doing without telling him first) then why should he get all the benefits? I guess I'm just mad lately. I wouldn't want to deprive him of seeing Logan but at the same time I certainly don't trust him to adequately care for Logan either. Plus apparently Logan talks about "Damio" (as he calls him) at daycare, what if he were to say something in front of Ex & Ex gets upset and goes off drinking again? Oh well I guess I don't need to worry about it until he wants to see Logan again.

I went to the police station today but they basically said there is nothing they can do because Ex hasn't actually threatened to hurt me and he's living so far away. Apparently Ex is considering moving to Sydney, or so his dad told me, which just freaks me out even more. I am feeling kind of down today since I feel like I am overreacting. I am just sick of him harassing me.

Divvy, how are things going with you? How is the telephone dating?

[Amity]

Telephone dating is still happening, still spending a lot of time on the phone but haven't yet met in person.

I think it's actually quite amazing that we can manage to talk for 4-5 hours EVERY day and still have things to talk about. We're spending more time together than most couples who live together!

Plans to meet have been shelved for a little while, after Christmas, and again he needs to sort things out with his XW, don't know when that will be.

Sorry Mel that your XP is harassing you - sometimes I wish mine would go live in Sydney! I wouldn't worry about your XP finding out about your new friend - it's going to happen at some stage, you're not going to be single for the rest of your life, and he's going to have to get used to it. I'm sure he's sh@gged some floozy anyway. They all do!

Let's just say that $27 per month is more Child Support than I get... I get NONE. Diddly squat. Nil. Nada. Nuffin. But he does pay half the daycare (we both use day care so we can go to work, so I told him he needed to pay half of it!) which is a little better than nuffin I guess!

Dreading Christmas... the outlaws (XH's parents) are doing dinner, and XH isn't going, so I'm taking the kids... ergh! but at least they get to see the other side of their family, as XH won't be going there for Christmas! He wants them for a few hours Christmas Day morning, which is fine, and I'm giving him an extra weekend because he's going away. Actually it works out at two extra weekends, but I can't be bothered arguing with him!

I'd LURVE to move out of my parents' house, they're driving me batty, but can't afford it just yet!

How are the rest of us travelling?

[Early Kids]

Hello ladies... just thought I'd pop in and say hello

I'm feeling better this afternoon after having a rant in the punching bag room.... regarding Ex family in law and visits... I'm sick of it already!

Oh well... take care

[Early Kids]

How is everyone going? We should use this thread more often....

Hope everyone is well. Hows the christmas spirit these days? I've almost finished I have to find something for my parents yet... but that won't be too hard, I'm going to the city on Friday to do my last minute shopping... hmmm.

Take care and lots of hugs

[Early Kids]

Here's my rant...
https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...ad.php?t=54776

It follows on from last weekends episode at XP's.

Hope everyone is doing well.

[Lilly-Pilly]

Hey girls, great thread Divvy

Well things are going along well with DP and i after a hiccup a few weeks ago. Badically it was horrible at the time but it helped us see things exactly how they are and our relationship couldn't be better at the moment

We are looking at moving in together in the very near future, DD and I have been basically living at his place for the past week and a half and i feel the happiest with him that I have in 2 years.

DD's dad and I are also getting along fantastically, there is no arguments, no fighting, no trouble at all, we both respect each other and each others lives and are happy to accommodate each other when things come up and plans have to be changed. He pays child support every month and buys DD anything else she needs when ever I ask. I'm also on very good $$ at work which helps ease the stress alot.

Who would have thought a year or two ago I would have been saying any of that!!! Alot changed when he finally got rid of the psycho ex!!!!

[Amity]

Wow Dee things have certainly moved on for you. Congratulations. I'd love to get to that stage with XH but I don't know if we ever will... he's so tight with money! Refused to allow the boys to go to a (certain) school whilst we were together, but now we're separated, it would be okay, as long as I paid for ALL of it! I don't really care, as long as they go to (certain) school, and I presumed I'd be paying for it anyway, so that's all hunky dory with me!

Sorry to hear of idiot XP's behaviour, Brendansmum, hopefully everything sorts outself out soon.

[Early Kids]

Congratulations Dee! I'm glad things are working out for you!

Thanks Divvy.... in the new year, once we get through the hectic season, hopefully things will change for the better! I can sit down properly with XP and sort through Brendans routine and how he should be looked after ect, ect. Even if we can/do reconcile I wont be moving back in with him for a long time! I'm loving it here... I have some freedom for now

[barbie-up]

Divvy - how did you meet phone man ? The EX and I also used to have arguements about schools, particularly high school - he would get soooo p*ssed off that I wanted something better than the local high school for my kids.

The kids and I moved at the start of December and the following day I locked myself out and the garage flooded and it was Caits birthday. I cried a bit in the first week, mainly for Caitlin, who hates me and is really pushing the boundaries of what she can get away with. Alex is fine, he does not seem to know anything is different.

The first weekend the kids were with Nick - I read the DaVinci Code from cover to cover ! No reading so far this weekend, I went out with other single girls last night and I'm feeling a bit feeble at the moment. It was so good to be able to go out with friends and not have to apologize for it or have to ask him to feed and bathe the kids while I got ready.

About CSA - Nick was advised to pay $280 a month while we still lived in the same house which he has been, but now we're not there, CSA said it will go up, but Nick is putting it off by not agreeing to number of nights business. I rang them this week to find out what was happening and the woman said that even though Nick does not agree with the situation, that's what is happening and he has to adjust and live with it.

For Christmas day - I'm dropping Cait and Al off at his place at 11am and picking them up at 6pm. His parents are picking him and the kids up to go to their lunch, so Nick can have drinks with lunch. ahem. It's going to be nuts, present wise for the kids - presents at home first thing in the morning, presents at my mums at breakfast, presents at Nicks, presents at his family lunch and presents at my extended family dinner.

Have a good one everyone !

[Amity]

So how did we all enjoy CHristmas? XH ended up having the boys for an hour on Christmas morning. I took the boys to the outlaws for Christmas dinner. XH was really nice on Christmas morning (I think he was lonely and wanted to stay - pity he treated me like dirt on Sunday and I wasn't in the mood). Didn't go TOO overboard with gifts - tried to be good!

How is everyone?

[Early Kids]

Hey Divvy

My Christmas was hectic! Brendan's first was great, he was sooo excited opening pressies! We spent Christmas eve and XP, Christmas Day at my aunty's then Christmas Night at our neighbours. Then Boxing Day with XP.

He got soooo spoilt!! Lots of pressies.

Hope you are all well.... Take Care and all the best for a pleasant New years!

[Amity]

Oh and Barb, I met him on RSVP.

[Lea13]

Hey there I thought I'd join in as well.

I have been a single parent from the very beginning. There was a time where XP and I were 'dating' but he has commitment and loyalty issues so now I am well and truly on my own. And I am loving it. Nothing as liberating as doing it alone - and doing it well!

I hope everyone had a great Christmas and New Years. Hopefully will get to know you all more soon!

[Early Kids]

Hello Lea

I had a great christmas, Brendan's First but the new years was not so great. Anyway, can't dwell on what happened in the past!

Brendan is crawling has been officially since 28th dec and he is now sitting also officially from the 3rd jan I'm so proud of my little boy.

I'm still adjusting to the single stage, and XP and I are "dating" we are trying to reconcile and are doing quite well so far.... BUT I'm am not moving back in with him for a long time.. still to hurt for that! Plus i have to get back on my feet anyway, been feeling down lately, could really do with a break.
I'm planning a trip to Melb for DS and I. We are coming over for 3 weeks, that should be nice to get away for a while.

Take care everyone

[Lilly-Pilly]

Well things over here are getting a little scary... DP and I have had a big talk about things and this week i'm giving notice for my unit and we are moving in together. We think its about time we take the next step, a scary thing after living on my own for 4 years now. God I hate moving house though :S