catherine, when it comes time for school, or even just preschool, shared care WILL NOT work with an interstate father! So myabe it will all settle down later, rather than sooner?
You poor thing. It kills me everytime DD is picked up by her dad, i know he is her dad and all but he just doesnt take care of her properly (no abuse, just lazy). He loves her with all his heart, i know that, but its like a stab in the gut each time she goes.
Big huge hugs, try to keep yourself strong and get as much advice as you can - especially on the whole interstate shared care thing.