So I finally ordered and paid for the DNA test and let him know its here. THEN he decides to turn around and say that he's been back to his solicitor and spoken with CSA and they;ve both advised him not to do it. He says that my current partner is legally responsible for my son. My lawyer said that no he's not he's just some guy I've lived with and owned a house with. He's asked me not to contact him again. Again its all about him, his gf, their future kids they dont have but basically him. I just feel so sorry for my poor lil guy because no one wants to be a Dad. No one is thinking about what this will do to him. I really think that I have no choice but to go to court to fight for my little guys rights. The toughest thing as I keep saying is what do I tell my little man when he asks why he's not there. It breaks my heart.
I think I have no choice but to go through the system. I dont think its fair on my child to just say oh I dont know who the daddy is when I do. My child has a right to know and I think he needs someone in there arguing for him and his rights. I agree that it is important to be honest with my son from the start. What really annoys me is that his whole argument is now based on I chose to be in this situation, I chose who I wanted to be with and he's chosing who he wants to be with. I said that its great that he has a gf and wants to settle down. Being with him never was a choice. The only choice he gave me was to have an abortion or to never talk to him again. I chose my baby as I knew that I had a beautiful, perfectly formed, healthy foetus in my tummy who had a heart that was beating all on its own and I did not feel that it was my right to take that away from him. Now I have the most beautiful boy in the whole universe who is happy and loves to laugh who makes friends easily and had daycare begging me to put him in more days because they love him and his little laugh so much.
You can issue for "paternity testing" in Court and if the "father" refuses to attend, then the Court can draw an inference that he is the father. You will need to remove your partner's name from the birth certificate (if you haven't already) and explain to the Court why you did so - including showing the negative DNA test from your partner to the Court.
This sort of thing happens a lot - I'm a barrister and I see it often enough.
I'm glad you've seen a lawyer - s/he should be able to lead you through the paperwork and make sure it's all done "right". Good luck
Thanks for your advice Divvy.
I've rang births,deaths and marriages and thankfully its not as difficult as I thought to get XP's name off of the birth certificate. I'll try and go through that process this week some time. My solicitor is on holidays until Jan 21 so as soon as he gets back I'll ask him if we can put the subpoena in. I have now put my application in for family tax benefit and have been told I have 13 weeks to apply for child support otherwise I wont get my full entitlements.
It's a tough situation which I would like to run away from but I know I have to try and be a grown up and realise I have a gorgeous little man to support and provide for. At the end of the day its not like the other party will have to pay much any way as I work full time and I'm on a good income. I just wish he wasnt so stubborn and I wish that there was someone else out there who loved my little man as much as I do...
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