i was desperate to find out the sex of my first, but my partner was adamant we would leave it a surprise, and i was so so so so so glad i did.... i rated it so highly, now pregnant with my second i thought for sure i would again leave it as a surprise, as it is just awesome when you finally get the baby out finding out its a little girl or boy...... anyways second timne around i'm thinking i will actually find out, not necessarily tell people though....
i dunno why i want to know, i guess i want to be more organised and work out what clothes i can re-use etc, but thats not really a reason to find out, thats more a convenience.... hmmm maybe i'm just impatient....
for a first, i recommend leaving it as a surprise.... its awesome!
First time around I was desperate to know, I'm a shopaholic & I like to be organised. Also lived fairly remote so wanted to shop when I could or online. Anywho DH wouldn't let me & left it up til going in for the scan to say he didn't want to know....grrrrr. I know I couldn't keep it a secret, so let him have it his way LOL.
This time around DH gets no say....it's my turn!!! So i will be finding out & prob won't be able to keep it a secret.
I found out with all of mine.. I've had a few people say to me "oh, i guess if it was your first you would let it be a surprise"...nope, not for me
I think it's really down to personal preference.
I know a lot of people who want to find out, and a lot who don't. I really think it's down to you. There's no real benefit to finding out, save the colour scheme.
For myself, I like to know what colours we can buy and I also like to think of bub as 'him' or 'her'. My sister is PG with her first and she hasn't found out... at her baby shower she got all yellow, green & orange, not her favourite colours & now she is dying for some pink or blue! She doesn't care which either will do.
Haha Mikayla, I just posted in our Buddies group that I was thinking about finding out.....but then not........ So Im no help to you in this thread, but I will follow it with interest!
It's really a personal choice like others have said. I wanted to know so badly that we had a 4D scan just to make sure!! But I'll tell you why I simply HAD TO find out.
I HATE surprises!! I've always liked to be emotionally/mentally prepared for things so it was a never a question for me. I'll find out everytime, not just this first time.
We wanted to stop calling the baby 'it'. It's so nice to be able to talk about him as 'my son' or say him/his. For us it makes it feel more real & like we're bonding with him.
I know that you can get neutral clothes but just didn't find that at my shops. There are only clothes specifically for boys or girls, or white. I wanted to be organised with his wardrobe etc while we were still on 2 incomes, I've got everything now. I also know that he'll get presents once he's born - but I wanted him to have things that I liked too & didn't want to rely on gifts IYKWIM.
Speaking of gifts, my family is very crafty. Our baby is having quilts, blankets, sheets & art made for him by some clever members. I understand how much more difficult it is doing this when you don't know the sex, as I had to do it for my sister.
It wasn't an issue with his nursery as it's the same as the rest of the house. But we've bought things like lamps etc that probably lean more towards being boyish.
Something to keep in mind is whether you'll tell people that you know the sex or not. If people asked we told & have had mixed responses. Some people carry on like it's the biggest mistake of our lives & we're ruining the experience. Which I think is ridiculous - we're still having a baby & it's still a very exciting time whether you know the sex or not. Others have been pleased for us & kept their opinions to themselves.
It's a big decision so good luck with what you decide!!
I have found out with both of mine. I like my surprises early
There is no reason why I chose to find out, simply that the technology is there to do it, I have the scans done anyway PLUS I personally hate referring to my little baby as "IT"
I think its nice to know but I totally understand why people choose to wait, I am just not that patient
We found out with DS cos I wanted to know if he was a girl or not. Which he wasn't.
Then we didn't find out with DD (not for lack of trying) until I was 36 weeks pregnant.
We're not finding out with this one because if I have another c-section I want to be overwhelmed with the surprise of what I'm getting - another boy or another girl - and not be devastated by the fact that I'm not getting my VBA2C.
I didn't find out with DD(our 1st) but did with DS (2nd). If we were to ever have another I wouldn't find out again. I loved the surprise of not knowing when DD came out, and they said 'It's a GIRL!!'. With DS, it was a bit.....anticlimactic. Although I fell in love with him instantly, the surprise was just no there!
As you know Mikayla, I found out yesterday we're having a boy, I found out the first time too. I liked being able to refer to 'he' rather than it, and from the scan DH & I refered to DS by name (didn't tell anyone else the name though). Still need to think of a boys name this time, so at the moment its just he.
Yay, thankyou all of you for your replies to this thread, it really helped me think about it a bit more seriously than I have been. I think I'd like to find out, simply to be prepared and make it easier on some of our elderly family members in the family!
but if its your second or more child...I say it isnt too bad if you want to find out.
Im pregnant with my first, and although its hard to buy specific clothes when you dont know the sex, the waiting makes it so excited, and even my midwife said, it makes the birthing experience even more exilerating when you get a surprise of finding out what sex bub is.
I say keep it a surprise, itll feel like a lifetime of waiting, but its so worth it in the end..
From the moment I fell pregnant I've had a very strong feeling my little one is a boy and was happy to wait for the surprise but the suspense is killing me...is my gut feeling right ? that's what is making me change my mind, 20 week scan soon so I can't help myself I'm hoping to find out the sex...to see if my intution is spot on
This is really a decision that only you and your DH can make...
But my DH and I decided not to find out and now that we're literally days away from having bubs we are so glad that we don't know. I've actually requested in my birth plan that DH is the one to announce the sex of our baby, not the OB or midwife. I can't wait for moment that he tells me that we've had a boy or a girl, I think it will be such a special thing to share between just the two of us.
Initially DH wanted to find out and it was me who didn't. I know a lot of people who have found out and shared it with everyone. In a few cases they've even shared the name with the world months before their bubs comes. Personally, when their bubs has arrived I've found that I'm no where near as excited about the babies arrival, there's no what sex is it, what's their name etc, just a oh thats nice, if you know what I mean.
Personally I want my child's arrival in the world to be marked by excitement and happiness from everyone that we know. When I shared these thoughts with DH months ago he tended to agree. Now, we are both so happy that we don't know, and I think once you make the decision not to find out you stop 'dying' to know iykwim...
In terms of finding clothes, it really hasn't been that hard. And I do know what people mean about not wanting to call them 'it' - I also hate that. We just make a point of saying bubs instead of 'it'.
Whatever you and your DH decide will be right for you. Good luck with your pregnancy and journey into motherhood. x
It 100% comes down to personal choice as to what works for you both but one thing you will find it how passionate people can be as to whether you should or shouldn't find out. I spend one evening with two of my bfs telling me ALL the reasons that I should find out (both of them had) only to be waylaid by one of their husbands afterwards who told me that I must NOT find out. (He didn't his wife knew but kept it secret)
I posted the same question a few weeks before our 12 week scan and found that the answers really helped me to make my decision. Originally I had been in the find out camp but then changed to the not find out. While I liked and understood the reasons behind why to find out I preferred the idea of it being my husband who will tell me what we've had rather than the sonographer who we will never see again. Several ladies pointed out that this is especially important if the birth isn't what you have planned ie c/s instead of natural.
My husband however had wanted to find out but agreed not to for me. He keeps saying that he wants a boy and has told me that either way he's going to tell me its a boy when its born. Am fairly sure he is only joking but would love to see my OBs and the midwifes faces if he carried through with this threat and it was a girl
Best of luck with making your decision either way.
PS if you don't know you can also have a giggle with your girlsfriends doing the various old wives tales to guess the sex
To find out, or to not find out?
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either will do.
I found out the first time too. I liked being able to refer to 'he' rather than it, and from the scan DH & I refered to DS by name (didn't tell anyone else the name though). Still need to think of a boys name this time, so at the moment its just he.
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