He dropped the bomb shell last night while we were going to sleep..
It all starts with when i met him 5 years ago he was in debt over $20,000. He was stressed about it, especially when he had an accident and couldn't work for 3 months and all his bills became too much and he had no choice but to become insolvent. I'm not sure if any of you ladies have heard of Fox Symes but they paid out his debt and he is supposed to make weekly repayments.
Here comes the problem.. i lost my job 3 weeks ago and he told me that everything will be fine that he has everything under control. The other day i went and had lunch with him and after lunch while i was walking him back to work he tells me that he's having a few issues with a few of his bills. and he tells me that he is defaulting on a few of them including Fox Symes i was absolutely furious.. he goes on and tells me he is over $3000 behind in his bills, thats a combined amount. We DONT have $3000!!!!
So then last night when he came out with his wants to go bankrupt i was speechless. I don't know that much about it. Will it affect us in the future? Do you think he is being too rash? I just don't know what to do. He said that if he does that then we will have money to spend on us getting married and starting our family. But i just dont know.
Have any of you ladies gone through anything like this?
i think it would depend what situation you are in... do you own your own home or are you renting? can you see yourself being able to pay off the debt or is completely out of reality? do you plan to go overseas, will you ever need to get credit again in your lifetime? declaring bankruptcy, from what i understand, means that your name will go on a national database that is a public record that can be accessed by any person at any time, your name is on this indefinitely... i also think there are limitations on whether you can leave the country while bankrupt.
i wouldn't enter into it lightly and would try to get some professional advice before making any decisions...
i think if it were me and it was a few thousand dollars i would work on paying it off rather than doing something so drastic as declaring bankruptcy, which will have implications for years to come. of course if there is no way of paying it back then declaring bankruptcy could be a good soltution.
I told him he should go see a financial advisor and get their opinion. But DP's arguement last night was he is already insolvent so his credit rating is screwed and we couldn't buy a house or go overseas anyways. I just want him to be happy i guess. It just makes me mad that he feels like he cant talk to me about our money situation. He is always trying to be the provider and doesn't like worrying me but it worries me alot more when he breaks down because he is so stressed. Its really not something we will think about lightly. We are both still young. And if it does mean we can get married and start our family i will do it.
Hi,
I'm so sorry that you're going through a difficult time.
Declaring bankruptcy is pretty much the final option when going through a difficult financial situation. I would do anything in my power to avoid it at all costs, I know we were once at that point. We chose to work hard at paying off our debts (which is difficult in itself as well as trying to live) and we're only a few weeks away from the final payment.
The small amount I do know about it is, you won't be able to get a loan for at least 7 years. I'm not 100% certain of this, however I'm pretty sure there is a chance any assets you do own (paying off or fully own) could be used to pay back the creditors.
I know it seems like an easy option, however the long term affects will be with you for some time.
Check out simplesavings website, there are heaps of good ideas re: saving money.
You also can not hold over a certain amount of money in the bank any car or asset you own has to be under a certain value. It really is something to be done only if there is no way out especially if you want to get married and start a family.
Oh and also a blot on your credit rating only stays there for four years. So you really would be starting all over again.
The above also applies to any joint assets or any assets held in your name (if you are married)
I would really avoid bankruptcy.....I know $3000 may seem like a lot at the moment but in the big picture it is actually not that much. You are both quite young and to have bankruptcy on your heads at such a young age would be quite disabling in your future finacial situation.
Ring all the ppl you owe money too and work out payment plans, sit down and work out how much you can afford to pay back even if it only $10 a week, some companies may take this...
You can still get married and look forward to starting a family with payment plans....
just remember that if you own a car or anything of value, it can be taken and sold from under you to pay off some of your debts.
I personally wouldn't. There has to be other ways. What about tax. you said you were working. What about selling as much as you can to pay off as much as you can, then organise with FS to deal with the rest. Can any family help out?
Brankruptcy is not something to be entered into lightly. The fact that your DP has already had these sort of issues, has huge warning bells! He is NOT the person to be taking financial advice from - no matter how much you love him. If you declare brankruptcy with him, you will be ruining your financial record. And although many see it as an easier solution, it is not easy! And the affects can stay with you for life. I know $3000 can seem like an insurmountable amount, when you have nothing - but with good budgeting you should be able to work something out.
The first thing you should do is ring Fox Symes and make an appointment to go in and chat with them. Find out exactly what your financial situation is and what your options for dealing with it are. This is what they deal with, and they are good at what they do. There are also financial services you can access, attached to various charities - such as st vinnies and the salvo's, but seeing as he already has an outstanding debt with fox symes and they have a stake in the matter, then I would think they would be your first port of call.
The second thing, I would be doing if I were you, is to take control of the finances. Many people are simply not good with money and your DP has a track record that indicates he is one of these. I am not trying to have a go at him, he is most likely a fabulous guy, but he just cann't handle his finances. You need to know what is happening financially and be in control of it, otherwise, when you do get this mess sorted out and leave things the way they are, then you will quickly find yourself back in the same situation - and if you have already used the bankruptcy card, then you might find yourself in some real trouble.
seven years is along time, and I think you owe it to yourself to try everything you can to resolve this.
How would you feel if someone owed you money and declared bankruptcy because they didn't have the guts to work hard and repay it?
Shoot me for saying it but I think that declaring bankruptcy in your situation is a total cop out and really really selfish.
You will have trouble getting a mortgage, renting, buying goods on payment plans, getting a loan for a car, getting some jobs, connecting to services like electricity and home phone. Don't just think about what you are doing now - imagine where you want to be in 5 years time and ask yourself if you will have wanted to do any of those things. Declaring bankruptcy is a major step and not to be entered into lightly. It also sounds to me like it won't actually solve the problem - your DP clearly has money management issues. Lifeline offers financial counselling and so do other organisations - I think that it would be a really really good idea if he went to something like that.
Here are some other options (taking into account that I don't know your exact circumstances so some may not be relevant:
Contact everyone you own money to and work out payment plans with them.
You can get a new job
He can get a second job
Cancel your mobile phone plans and go to prepaid (and only use it in emergencies)
Move into cheaper accomodation - a single room in a share house is cheaper than living just the two of you - or move in with relatives
Make you lunch before you go to work every day rather than buying it (a loaf of bread and block of cheese and 5 apples cost $5 for a week rather than double that every day)
sell your car and catch public transport (although I know this can be hard in some parts of Canberra)
Go trough your wardrobe and sell 10 items each on ebay
Cancel your pay TV
Stop buying grog
Don't go to the movies - stay home and watch whatever is on
Every time you go to spend money on anything, ask yourself if you really need it
Also, I don't want to sound and harsher that I already have - but if you are having trouble managing your finances now I am not sure that you should be thinking about TTCing. I really think that this is something that you have to sort out and put behind you before you start thinking about having children.
I really do wish you luck - money troubles in never easy - what makes the difference is how you respond to them.
You are all right! and i totally agree that he is just running away!!!. $3000 is only what he has told me, he has been known to lie and cover up things..
When he gets home which should be in about an hour i am going to get him to call each and every person he owes money to and work out a payment plan, i will sit next to him if i have to! i am beyond angry with him. I told him, well warned him if he EVER got himself into debt that i would leave him, i know its unfair on him seeing as i am the one without a job, but it seems like he stopped paying them long before i lost my job
I think i have been too patient with him, for crying out loud he is older than me which is supposed to make him more mature but it seems like i have to pick up after him all the time. I haven't told my mother yet oh boy she would have a field day with him.
Don't make any decisions before you talk to every single person you owe money to. Don't assume they won't take $x or whatever you have to offer them. TALK to them (or get your partner to talk to them), be straight up tell them the truth, and try to work something out.
Trust me, they DON'T want you to go bankrupt, because they won't get their money, so if you tell them you can afford so much per whatever, a lot of people will work with you to find an amount that is manageable.
Honestly, you'll be ruining your future, not starting it. I see you have PCOS. What happens if you need IVF, and need to get a loan or something to be able to afford it? Declaring bankruptcy will make that impossible for at least 7 years.
Muppity has some great suggestions. I hope you can take that on, and work your way out of the financial troubles.
AND: BUDGET BUDGET BUDGET... don't live week to week, know EXACTLY what is in your account every single day and what it is for. That'll hopefully help stop unnecessary spending, if you know that each dollar has a place to be.
Whatever you end up doing you need to take charge of the household finances. Some people can't be trusted with paying bills & it sounds like your partner is one of them. He needs to avoid bankruptcy if he can as it follows you for years.
i would definitely speak to a financial councillor. THEY will get hold of your credit history, and THEY can also contact all of the people you owe money to, and THEY can negotiate a payment plan or whatever it may be.
ive been there and done it myself. i bought a car ($20,000 loan) then had an accident (no insurance, $13,000) i was pregnant, so not working or looking for work at the time. my only option was to go bankrupt. i would never be able to pay all that money back!
for $3000 i would definitely see what other options there are!
finances can be such an emotional issue for people and very scary too. I think you have some great advice on here already. The only thing that I wanted to add is that even though you only have a 4 year mark on your credit rating and no loans for 7 years, most loan applications ask you if you have ever been bankrupt and that will be with you for life.
The other thing is that if your DP is insistent on declaring bankruptcy - don't let him declare it in your name. If you have joint loans with him, talk to the people you owe money to yourself about what you can do. If you don't have joint loans with him and he wants to declare bankruptcy, just make sure he leaves you out of it. Don't let him mess with your credit rating. You have a choice here because he can only make decisions for himself and his own finances. He can't drag you into it as well, unless you let him as you have to sign all the paperwork yourself to be included.
I really hope that you can work something out. I agree with Leasha - make a budget and stick to it. It might mean that you have to take charge of the finances for a while and not rely on DP to do it. You may have to allocate him $20 a week or something as spending money (if there is room for it in the budget and after all your overdue fees are paid).
There are also other options - there is a clause for accessing super ahead of time if you are suffering severe financial hardship. You will have to meet a strict criteria to do it and I would suggest you also don't enter into that lightly either as it could affect your retirement dramatically, but be aware that it is there and you can contact his Super fund to see what their policy is and how you go about it. See what you can work out without it, but know that there is also that option.
Hope all that helps and good luck with everything.
You need to get to the bottom of the problem. Ask why he was acting like everything's ok when all along it has not been. What is he hiding...where is the money going? What compulsive behaviour have the $$ been spent on...is it just bad budgeting or is there an underlying problem? Drink, drugs, online gaming, gambling, compulsive spending, what else is going on??? If you don't address the reason why the 3K has gotten out of control you won't be able to address the rest of the debt either.
So, DP wants to declare bankruptcy..
i was absolutely furious.. he goes on and tells me he is over $3000 behind in his bills, thats a combined amount. We DONT have $3000!!!! 
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