Permanent Care Questions

[PC101]

Hi All,

My partner and I are in VIC and are looking at starting our family with a permanent care child. We are looking to get child as young as possible, although I have been advised that that may be quite difficult. I was hoping to hear from anyone who has any PC children who could answer a few questions for me:

1) What do your PC children call you? I have heard that some people are advised the children cannot call you Mum and Dad even if you have had them since they were babies?!

2) How oftern do your PC children see their birth parents?

Any other information you can provide would be wonderful.

Thanks!

[lil_chookie]

1) What do your PC children call you? I have heard that some people are advised the children cannot call you Mum and Dad even if you have had them since they were babies?!

In Victoria I don't think there any restrictions on what the children can call you. I have heard in other states there can be.

2) How oftern do your PC children see their birth parents?

Depends on the situation, all are different, there is not set amount. When you are going through the assessment process you will be asked how you feel about this and how often you are comfortable with contact.

Feel free to ask any questions, I will answer them as best I can related to my expereince.

[~*lilla*~]

Children on permanent care orders rarely if ever see their parents. Part of the reason they are on that order is because either the parent has serious issues that they have failed to address over a long period, or they have voluntarily signed over their rights.

You may have issues getting a small baby, as part of DHS's goal is family reunification, and always try to give the parent the oportunity to redeem themselves. By the time it has got to the point of a permanent care order, the child is usually a toddler or older, but I have known of a couple of babies on PC orders so it is possible.

It has been a few years since I worked in vic in child protection but from memory I think at most they are only allowed 2 visits a year, as it is seen as unsettling for the child.

[HotI]

Children on permanent care orders rarely if ever see their parents. Part of the reason they are on that order is because either the parent has serious issues that they have failed to address over a long period, or they have voluntarily signed over their rights.

You may have issues getting a small baby, as part of DHS's goal is family reunification, and always try to give the parent the oportunity to redeem themselves. By the time it has got to the point of a permanent care order, the child is usually a toddler or older, but I have known of a couple of babies on PC orders so it is possible.

It has been a few years since I worked in vic in child protection but from memory I think at most they are only allowed 2 visits a year, as it is seen as unsettling for the child.

Not necessarily at all. Even parents with big issues usually have 4 visits a year, and this can be more often. It depends on the desires of the birth family, and what it is considered in the best interests of the child.

Keeping contact with birth families is important and is encouraged as long as this can be done without harming the child.

As lil chookie said there is quite a bit of variation in visitation.

In Vic, permanent care parents can be called Mum and Dad. Again, It would depend on the circumstances- how old the child is coming to your care, what relationship they have with their birth parents, and previous carers.

[PrincessLollyPopLePink]

Hi, we have a child in our permanent care, he's been with us basically from birth and no longer has contact with his birth mother (long story) but has monthly contact with siblings which up until now has been organised between us and the carer of the siblings. Yesterday my husband recieved a disturbing phone call from the caseworker of the other siblings saying that we are no longer to contact this carer by email or phone even though he told me numerous times on contact visits that he's glad we work out the visits and dont involve docs.

This carer also wants to have the visits in his home, without us and my DH said that we have no problems with the visits but dont feel comfortable having them at his home without us as our baby will fret without us. In the past the visits have been on mutal ground, parks, play centres, etc.. this carer has invited us to his house for a bbq but we dont feel comfortable with that and certainly do not want him to come to our home!
I was wondering what our rights are? any help or support would be much appreciated as I'm very depressed and upset about this. I feel like he has been very sneaky and should have spoken to us before going to docs!

[K_Tuohey]

Have you been to the education groups? These will answer all the questions you have. I cannot have any more children and we have done the education groupls and are about to start our home study.
Basically, the children generally call you mum and dad, and how often they see their birthparents varies depending on the situation and the subsequent court order. they say up to 10 times a year, but the most common requirement is 3-4 times a year. This does not always have to be face to face either.
It is a pretty quick process actually compared to adoption, and I've found the people at DHS fantastic to deal with.

[mrst82]

DH and I are also just beginning our pc journey in Victoria.

I just wanted to say good luck with everything

[PrincessLollyPopLePink]

^ That's awesome! we are getting T's sister next week, I cant wait!

[mrst82]

Wow Kim. Congratulations! Good luck with the transition and everything. I'd love to know about your experience if you ever feel like sharing. We too have a 6 year old child and we're hoping to add to our family through pc.

[K_Tuohey]

I'm not very good at using this site. If you want to email me I'd love to have a chat with you. Is it safe to post an email address?

[mrst82]

That would be great. My email address is

[mrst82]

^ That's awesome! we are getting T's sister next week, I cant wait!

Oh I missed your post. That's fantastic news! Congratulations. I can't wait to see if we're approved so we can share the same joy (months and months and months away!). Please feel free to contact me too if you like.

Good luck with everything.

[MargOZ]

Hi, I'm just starting out with the permanent Care process as well so can't offer any advice unfortunately but wanted to wish you the best of luck with your journey as well.

Marg

[K_Tuohey]

Hey Marg, thats so exciting. Where are you up to? Have you done your training yet? It's such an exciting process and a great thing to do. I hope everything goes great for you.

Fingers crossed,
Kim

[PrincessLollyPopLePink]

Hi, I'm just starting out with the permanent Care process as well so can't offer any advice unfortunately but wanted to wish you the best of luck with your journey as well.

Marg

thanks Marg, best of luck to you too! have you seen the fostering ad on tv lately? I think its so appropriate, good to let people be more aware..

[lil_chookie]

Hi, I'm just starting out with the permanent Care process as well so can't offer any advice unfortunately but wanted to wish you the best of luck with your journey as well.

Marg

How wonderful Marg! I loved the education groups, I gained so much information from them.