Why can't I ever get in front?!!!

[amberj]

I just need a frustrated vent. And some opinions/ideas, maybe.

I am so frustrated and sick of feeling behind the 8-ball in several areas of my life, namely home and work, but today we're talking about home. I seriously struggle just to keep up with what I consider the basics: feeding my family in some very vaguely nutritious way, doing the general weekly cleaning (and not very well) and laundry and tidying up the house each evening from the Peter-storm.

As far as any kind of deeper cleaning (say, cleaning the oven or de-moulding the bathroom ceiling or cleaning out the feral inside recycling bin or cleaning the front of the kitchen cupboard or the windows from little hand prints, weeding the garden, sweeping the back porch...omg, the list is endless), well, there just doesn't seem to be time. There is also no time for any kind of organising (which is actually more important to me than deeper cleaning). Let alone any time to look after myself.

I just seriously don't know how to do it. And I really am pretty organised, generally! I have devised all sorts of systems to try to make this work and I can't seem to! HOW DOES EVERYONE ELSE DO IT???

In my defence, I do work 3 days a week, and am home 2 days. On my 2 days home, I get a 'break' when Peter naps, for about 2 hours each day. When he is awake, there is absolutely no chance of getting anything done, he is SO clingy, hates the sling, is NOT helpful when you try to involve him and does not play by himself. There is also time when he goes to bed at night, but frankly after tidying up the whole house (ie-now), I am too exhausted to think about doing much at all, and there is only like an hour or maybe two if I'm lucky before its time for me to go to bed (need lots of sleep).

On the weekends, my "breaks" (nap times) tend to get taken up by DH who wants to be 'intimate' or just generally chill. DH says he will look after P to give me time to get stuff done, but it seems like his version of this is to sit at his computer and say "Peter, come back" when P is bored and comes to me for entertainment. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. (sorry, bit frustrated).

So, that's it, really. It seems to come down to 4 hours a week to try to get everything done. Its impossible, right? Or is there some organisational nirvana that I have not discovered? I mean, I only have one child and I don't work full time- I just have NO idea how mums with more than one kid do it! I don't think my standards are too high (really, I do NOT expect a perfect house- I've never had one, even before child), but I just don't know.

Thanks for listening to my rant. I feel very un-domestic goddess-y.

[BrightSparkles]

I"m completely with you here!!!!!! I feel the same at times.
Very interested to hear what others have to say.
DH trys to help out but it just doesn't always get done well.

[thepixie]

Got nothing for you Jess, unfortunately I'm in exactly the same boat. Need to clean the bathrooms and the windows (lots of windows) still have boxes not unpacked from moving and a whole room full of junk downstairs. DD's bedroom is about the only room in the house which is really 'finished' in the sense of having the right furniture and everything put away but that only happened about a month ago. Working on the Bear to get a cleaner - even if it is only once a month to do bathrooms, mop floors, dust etc. Once a month isn't much but it's once a month more than I'm going to get round to it! So yeah, just wanted to commiserate!

[Lulu]

I can't keep up either, I'm sick to death of it. I've got all house maintenance on top of everything as well (gardens, gutters, pruning etc) and I don't think there are enough hours in the day.

I have the smallest amount of me time and if I cut that out I fall in a heap and it all gets worse.

GRRRAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh!

[Eng]

Im the same too..

Ive heard and been told to stay up late at night but with what energy?? I work full time and have every second Friday off.

My DD is 2 and I ask her to help pick up her toys.. she said 'Mummy you do it' I say no you do it.. She says 'Mummy clean it' My SIL had something of the same problem and she said she would tell her son to pick it up or they go to the bin. 3 days the toys have been sitting in a bin bag in the garage.. So that didnt work!!

DH helps, He washes the dishes and cleans the floor after Ive done a song and dance! Why is it men work less hours come home and think they should get alone time every day?

Ops sorry for my rant but does it ever end??

[feeb]

Hun I hear you!!!

I struggle to keep up with everything also, and being so close to end of preg I have even less energy and massive swollen feet!! DH tells me to rest but yet he sits on laptop and lets DS annoy me or wont me for attention. I think all DH's are the same with there idea of entertaining child while they sit on computer.

[amberj]

Oh thank you- I'm not alone! Glad to hear we are all united in our frustration.

I just tried to talk to my DH about it but I don't feel like I got very far. Sigh.

[Lolli]

I could have written your post hun. the very little time I get to do the 'extras' gets taken up by actually spending some time on me- and then i feel guilty about it

I have conceded, I think. Until we can afford a maid, or the kids move out, the back windows will be filthy, the porch will remain unswept, and my walk in wardrobe will always be a mess *sigh*

[Lulu]

See why my exH looks so shiny sometimes??? He thinks nothing of getting everything done before he sits down with a beer...

[Annabella]

Yeah I am the same, my husband is the same, yells at the kids to start helping me while he sits on the couch- setting a really great example!

I am behind in the every day things, there is NO HOPE for getting the 'extras' done so I've decided once a year I just need to fork out the money and get someone to go over the house and do the windows, cupboards etc. I just got a skip bin and put a whole lot of crap in there and plan to do that once a year too.

[Lolli]

See my my exH looks so shiny sometimes??? He thinks nothing of getting everything done before he sits down with a beer...

Yup, I completeley understand. Gotta love a man who is immaculatley clean and likes a beer...

[didispunk]

Mmmm I am so thinking I am lucky here!

My DH is fantastic at cleaning the house cooking dinner, taking the kids out while i nap/clean or visit a girlfriend, give me a break, He is FAB!

My kids both nap for 2-4 hours every afternoon so I tend to clean mop and vacuum everyday as it needs it and then get dinner ready. We eat at about 5 or so, so we can all eat together as a family. I put the kids to bed around 7-8 and then I have time to relax watch TV get breaky ready in bowls for the morning, kids clothes layed out, the nappy bag for the next day ready. my clothes ready.

Plus we have friends around all the time or we are out visiting....

I hope you can find more time Amber!!! Poor love

[Fleur]

Much the same here - I find it hard enough to keep up with the basics, let alone do stuff like clean the oven.

I don't like NY resolutions BUT I have decided that THIS year I am gonna get organised
Strangely enough I can do it ok at work, it's at home it all falls apart...
I have been checking out Flylady. You can google it & I think there is a thread on here too. It's not rocket science, lol, a lot of ideas I have had before but gives you good methods for implementing them. ITMS.

Apart from that...I just think, well one day they will all be grown up & gone... & I'll probably miss these days of mess & chaos

[Liviam]

Same here too and I'm so sick to death of it. I've tried so many different things and nothing seems to work/help plus I've got two kids that now refuse to settle/sleep day or night so I'm slowly going crazy too. Over the next day or so I'm going to organise a plan of attack and set a little housework job each day like monday is vacuum/mop, tuesday is sheets/washing etc. I'm hoping that if I only have one job to do each day I'll get a bit more organised. I'm starting tomorrow by cleaning my house from head to toe before DH starts back at work. It's a huge task but like you I'm so sick of having a messy house and being so unorganised. I'm not deluded at all I know it is going to take weeks to get organised and into a routine especially doing dinner. This is my new years resolution - maybe it can be yours too and we can all help each other.

[AnyDream]

I have the smallest amount of me time and if I cut that out I fall in a heap and it all gets worse.

Good point Lulu. I need the "me time" in order to fund the housework time! I'm lucky that my DH is very hands on around the house but buck really does stop here.

The best way I've learned is to pay someone to do a regular clean (fortnightly works well) so all you're doing in the meantime is maintenance cleaning and then you've got time for the other jobs. It's either that or Saturday morning - so DH is involved - and the 'weekend' doesn't start for anyone until what needs to be done is done.

[amberj]

What I decided to do was make a list of all the things that have a call on my time when Peter is asleep- everything from making food to tidying the house to having a shower to reading and bellybelly. The list is long.

Then I prioritised them, and I have to say, this was hard. Because I want to get it ALL done, but the fact is that I cannot, so some things are going to miss out.

So now, in theory, I have a priority list to go by when I have some time (like now), so I can do things in order of importance. I know things lower on the list will miss out, and I am trying to make peace with that.

The problem is that I am not following my list!! In theory, bellybelly is actually underneath, say, organising meals for the week, and yet here I sit on my computer and not in the kitchen!!! Hmm....nice in theory.....

But I am going to persist. Off I go to meal plan!!!

[Lulu]

Sound funny coming from me after that big rant, but also prioritise in order of the time it takes to do something.

So if you have 15 mins and there is a 'longer' job on the top of the list, go for the one that you will actually get done, even if it's lower down. It really helps to be able to finish something.

I'm a bit happy with myself today. I cleaned up all the dog carnage in the backyard this morning! woooo.

[Visitor7]

Just start with one job at a time. Try not to think of everything that needs doing, but something that you can achieve while Peter is sleeping. Do you have a laptop, while I'm in the kitchen either cleaning it or cooking, I have my laptop on the bench. That way, I get my internet time and I'm doing something productive
First thing in the morning, while the girls are having brekkie, I usually put a load of washing on. When the girls have finished their brekkie, they'll usually have a little bit of tv time, this is my time to wash the brekkie dishes, get something out of dinner that night, and hang the washing out. When the washing is ready, I put it on the lounge room floor and I get the girls to help me sort them into piles. Emily (like Peter) is still a little young to do it properly, but at least I'm cleaning while playing with them. And it's kind of fun for them.