Curfews?

[diannescruffy]

Just wondering what your teenager's curfew is. DS14 on a school night has to be home by 7.30 p.m, on the weekend we play it by ear as I always pick him up. DS has a female friend who is allowed to stay out until 1.00 a.m. this includes weekdays because she is home schooled, DS says she is lucky I was quite shocked at this.

Regards,
Dianne

[diannescruffy]

Regards,
Dianne

[Trillian]

I don't have a teenager as yet LOL, but I was one of those kids who didn't have a curfew either. I guess Mum didn't want to be like her Mum was and be strict about it so she was very lax. I hated it though. My friends wished their parents were like my mum, but I wished that mum was a bit more like their parents.

[Tinks]

1:00 for a kid of that age is a bit OTT. What is she doing until that time?

I think 7.30 is a perfectly acceptable curfew for a kid of that age and maybe 10 on weekends depending on what they're doing.

[mrsmac]

Holy Moly on the 1am for a 14 yr old!!
When DD was in yr 10 and 11 she had a 10pm curfew on weekdays and 12 on weekends.
In yr12 we relaxed the weekend one and now she is over 18 she doesn't have one.

[~clover~]

I would be terrified of my DD being out at 1am at 14!!
I never really had a curfew, but didn't really go anywhere. If I did I stayed at a friends house & if we did anything we'd be picked up when it finished (movie, disco)
When DH & I got together I was 16 & mum wasn't too worried, as long as he looked after me, but I soon learnt that early mornings weren't so great with school the next day (so I left school )
Where I grew up there was a town curfew as far as I know. 10pm if under 16 I think. You would often see 10 year olds out later than this though!!

[Daydream Believer]

We had to be home by dark unless it was something that was pre-organised

[Lisa]

My DS just turned 16. Sunday to Thursday he has to be home by 7pm. Friday & Saturday nights are until 9pm unless we have agreed upon a later time.
These times are the same whether it is school holidays or not. Some Thursday nights he will be allowed out until 9pm if he is just hanging out at the local Westfield.

[Pandora]

We didn't go anywhere on school nights unless it was as a family, or to sports training, or after yr 10, to the library to study. I certainly wasn't allowed just to be out and about wih my friends - and none of them were either.

Weekends were pretty full on with sport or family stuff. Sometimes we might go over to a friends place but never really 'went out' for the sake of it.

[diannescruffy]

Thanks all, this makes me feel alot less strict.

Regards,
Dianne

[willow5]

I think 1am is way too late. My kids don't have a regular curfew as such, it all depends on what they're doing and who they're doing it with. But school nights I think 7.30pm is very acceptable if it's a social thing, quite often mine would be at sports training though and we don't get home until after 9pm, which I hate.

[Bathsheba]

Before my 15yo DD went to boarding school (where they have a 9.45pm lights out curfew) she wasn't allowed out at all on a school night but was allowed to stay at a friends place until 10pm on Fridays and Saturdays... not to be wandering around... at a designated place. it's the wandering around that so many parents seem to allow that worries me... at any time.

[Fleur]

1am...woah

DD1 doesn't have a 'curfew' as such, we take it on a case by case basis...
Usually on a weeknight she has to be home by dark, so at the moment it's around 5:30 - 6:00.
Thursdays if she goes late night, it would be 9:30.

On a weekend it's much the same unless one of us is picking her up from somewhere, then it might be a bit later, but only as late as we can stay awake, lol.

Like Bath, I'm not a fan of them being out wandering around, I like to know where she is & what she's doing... I always have been like that but even more so now, (we have had some problems wiht her in the last 12 mths ) but it's a safety issue too, I hate the thought of her catching a bus at night with all those creeps out there.

ETA - the biggest problem I actually have is with what other parents allow - what are they going to be doing when they are elsewhere? and the 'but she caaaaan' argument gets realllly old.

[Rouge]

1 am is waaaaaaay too late!

Sheesh! I don't like the idea of a 14 yr old to be out and about on their own at all. But then maybe that's me. I feel sorry for my kids, I daresay I'm going to be very unpopular in a few years LOL!

[Fleur]

Lol Rouge, I think it comes with the 'job'... I say to DH if we are popular with our teenagers we must be doing something wrong

[diannescruffy]

ETA - the biggest problem I actually have is with what other parents allow - what are they going to be doing when they are elsewhere? and the 'but she caaaaan' argument gets realllly old.
That's the problem I have, when DS has a friend sleeping over they are not allowed out after dark but I do know of other parents who allow them to leave the house .

Regards,
Dianne

[jaspen]

As with Trillian I don't have a teenager yet but like pandora I came straight home after school or sport or music and when out with friends on weekends it was either at their house or movies or something - no just wandering.

On first reading of the thread I was thinking that my rules would be similar to Baths in all realty and expect that again like Rouge I don't expect to be too popular in years to come.

[willow5]

ETA - the biggest problem I actually have is with what other parents allow - what are they going to be doing when they are elsewhere? and the 'but she caaaaan' argument gets realllly old.
That's the problem I have, when DS has a friend sleeping over they are not allowed out after dark but I do know of other parents who allow them to leave the house .

Regards,
Dianne

IKWYM! I'm lucky in a way that I know DS's closest friend's parents and we're on the same wavelength, but there are a few friends we aren't close to and that's where things start to get a little frayed. And teenagers are great at making you feel like the worst person on earth!
I just try to go with my best judgement at the time for the given circumstances, and hope that the "fringe" friends don't become too regular